As if the bombing of Lebanon couldn’t get any worse, in a conversation with CTV Ottawa’s Dan Matheson Israel’s opposition leader Benjamin Netanyahu has compared the situation to the film Alien.

Netanyahu - Have you ever seen the movie Alien. Dan? Did you ever see it?

Matheson - Um…Yes.

Netanyahu - Do you remember this movie? Well, this movie had these alien, ferocious bodies that implant themselves in a host, and then lurch out, burst through the chest and attack the person next to the host. And in fact that’s exactly and in so doing also kill the host. Hezzbolah is the alien body, Lebanon is the host, we’re the person attacked. And the mother alien, if you will, the mother producing all these eggs is Iran, with its way station in Syria. That’s exactly what we have here. So if any of us are going to have a future, a future of peace, a future of good neighbours, a future of tranquility, than this alien host, alien ideology, implanted into Lebanon and supported by alien regimes, that’s got to go. It just has to go.

I’ve got nothin’.

Sometimes I feel like a beautiful maiden with two handsome suitors vying for my affection. Only substitute “beautiful maiden” with “ruggedly handsome horror blogger” and “two handsome suitors” with “killer snake movies”.

Asylum has released a trailer for its highly anticipated knock-off, Snakes On A Train. I love that, in lieu of their usual big-ticket imitations, Asylum is inadvertently reclaiming exploitative schlock from a major studio. And to top it off, they seem to deliver on the promise of their promotional art!

Trailer courtesy of Dread Central.

I watched so many movies at the Fantasia film festival this year that I just didn’t have enough room to post them all here. Over at Bloody Disgusting you can find my review for the cinema verite serial killer flick 39: A Film By Carroll McKane. And now, using the power of the internet, I will quote my own words in bold!

It would have been easier to accept Jim Carrey as Carroll McKane for all the mugging that takes place for the camera. And while I realize that this excessive egotism is probably evident in real-life killers, without a firm foundation for all of Carroll’s grisly exploits his tiresome monologues come off as fabrications.

Ouch. That Steve guy is a jerk. If you can’t get enough of my rambling here at The Horror Blog, may I suggest you check it out.

I wrestled with the idea of presenting this clip. Breaking away from my mandate of providing horror content exclusively is a slippery slope. Next thing you know, I’ll be posting about comics. Then I realized that I don’t want to live in a world where I have to convince myself to share Post-Apocalyptic Kung-Fu Spaghetti Western Music Videos with my visitors.

Courtesy of one of my favourite blogs, Kung-Fu Fridays.

Name the first horror-related item you see in your vicinity immediately after reading this question.

Sean T. Collins - Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat

I looked up and at exactly the same time saw my copies of Black Hole by Charles Burns and From Hell by Alan Moore & Eddie Campbell, which are seated right next to each other on my bookshelf.

Doug Nagy

A stuffed falcon on my desk given to me by Gaetan Plante. Norman Bates 666.

Stacie - Final Girl

My awesome-n-hideous Freddy Kruger candle…which only burns in the fires of my heart. Behold!

Bill Cunningham - DisContent

I turned right around and the first thing I saw in my office was my bookshelf containing:

Shockmasters by Loris Curci
John Carpenter: Prince of Darkness by Gilles Boulenger
Poverty Row Horrors! by Tom Weaver
As well as dozens of others…

Mark - Exclamation Mark’s Vintage Sci-Fi/Horror Review

Well, I have several horror related books on my desk, including The Vampire Book (The Encyclopedia of the Undead) and a book of interviews by Tom Weaver entitled, Return of the B Science Fiction and Horror Heroes. But the very first horror-related item I saw was the cover of Marty Baumann’s The Astounding B Monster, with a cover illustration featuring a goofy-looking Frankenstein monster (by Jack Davis).

David Z. - Tomb It May Concern

First item is my new trade hardback of MONDO ZOMBIE, the long promised and finally and thankfully and gratefully delivered anthology edited by John Skipp. It is huge, it is beautifully produced and every story so far has been excellent.

Peep more here.

Rod Lott - Bookgasm

Naturally, it’s a stack of horror novels I have yet to review, including INTO THE FIRE by Richard Laymon, DROWNED NIGHT by Chris Blaine, RAPTURE by Thomas Tessier, LIVE GIRLS by Ray Garton, THE BURNING by Bentley Little and WORLD WAR Z: AN ORAL HISTORY OF THE ZOMBIE WAR by Max Brooks. And they mock me.

Don May, Jr. - Synapse Films

I have a big 30-count box of our own SMALL GAUGE TRAUMA DVD sitting right at my feet! Horror at it’s finest, certainly!

GlowStormLion - Fright Hounds

Good gawd, this WOULD have to happen. I’d love to say a boxcutter but I suppose that wouldn’t technically count. Specifically horror? White Wolf Games’ Orpheus handbook. The horror roleplaying game. Not that I’m a dork or anything, of course.

Steven - The Horror Blog

Nothing on or near my desk, but I can see into my kitchen at my Texas Chain Saw Massacre poster from here.

Red Hawk - Happy Horror

I hope this isn’t too late to enter. The first thing I saw was my Pet Sematary 2 movie poster I picked up from a video store after they took it down when the movie first came out on video, and my pirate skull bank.

Thanks again to everyone who participated. See you next week.

Bill Cunningham of DisContent points us in the direction of an article on direct-to-DVD knock-offs, such as the eagerly anticipated Snakes on a Train.

John Campea of The Movie Blog gives The Descent a 9.5 on his podcast and declares that it is the best film of the year so far. Doug Nagy salivates at the thought of bloody Morlock action.

Friday the 13th of 2006 to be Horror Day? Via About Horror.

Tim Lucas gets nostalgic for scrolling text inserts and gruesome javelin tossing.

Dark Horizons is speculating that Quentin Tarantino is interested in remaking an unreleased Dutch horror film called Dead End, presumably right after his war movie, his giallo, and his 20-year-delayed Kill Bill sequel.

The mugshots of the suspected zombie criminals I mentioned yesterday have been released. Also, the zombies allege that police threatened to “shoot (them) in the head,” which is not an unreasonable suggestion given the circumstances.

Is a V Sequel in the works? Word on the street is that Robert Englund may already have agreed to reprise his role as Willie.

Horror bloggers attempt to find out which street Steven of The Horror Blog lives on, the better to hear Robert Englund gossip.

For those of you with cinematic tastes that run outside of horror (or fiction, for that matter) Horror Roundtable contributor Jay C. has launched The Documentary Blog. I believe this is the first thing I’ve written on the blog that has absolutely nothing to do with horror whatsoever.

Curt at the Groovy Age of Horror has posted another one of his exemplary interviews, this time with the author of Night Trippers, a vampire graphic novel set in Mod London. And don’t forget Curt’s review of the book. That artwork is scrumptious.

David “Danny Rand” Z. has posted yet another thrilling tale of The Heap for the undeserving masses.

Tolerated Vandalism is furious about the last two items! Death to comics!

I tease because I love.

That’s it for me this week. Pop in tomorrow for another special edition of The Horror Roundtable, where I finally shut up and let more talented voices take the stage.

Billy’s response in the last Horror Roundtable, where he insisted on naming a dead Master of Horror despite my instructions specifying living directors, got me thinking. Was I being prejudiced? Could the dead actually contribute to the series?

One of my favourite authors is Cornell Woolrich, one of the greatest suspense writers who ever lived. He’s the literary equivalent to Alfred Hitchcock, a point which is reinforced by Hitchock’s use of Woolrich’s stories for his films. Rear Window is the most famous of these adaptations, with at least four other stories having been used for television under Hitchcock’s supervision. One of these adaptations was Three O’Clock, which, unlike the other pieces made for T.V., was actually directed by Hitchcock and may be one of his more suspenseful works. So far as I can tell it has never been released legally on video in its full form.

Which leads to the idea that maybe they can have the deceased pitch into the Masters of Horror series. Just how cool would it be to dig up some nearly-forgotten horror gem from famous directors of days gone by? How about Jim Henson’s trippy teleplay The Cube, Serling’s Requiem For A Heavyweight, or Mario Bava’s final work La Venere d’Ille? I would love to see some neglected piece of genre television dusted off and presented side-by-side with contemporary directors in a package with all the bells and whistles. It would certainly make for a refreshing change of pace.

Or, as the kids like to call it, SYTYCD. The show is scary on its own, but things get even more frightening when they combine Michael Jackson’s Thriller choreography with interpretive dance.

Shake that zombie booty!

Six zombies were arrested in Minneapolis on Saturday for alarming the public.

The six adults and a juvenile male were dressed as “zombies” in tattered clothes and ghoulish makeup when they were arrested in downtown Minneapolis. Police said they were carrying bags with wires sticking out, making the bags look like bombs. Officers said they were uncooperative and intimidated passers-by with their disturbing behavior.

No charges have been made as of yet. The zombies have since been released into the public. We will keep you updated on this situation for as long as the power holds out.

I haven’t posted a Snakes on a Plane update in awhile.

The official site has a batch of new trailers up.

Snakes on a Blog points us in the direction of a Snakes on a Plane logic puzzle.

Six of the passengers–Barbara, Cindy, George, Mike, Ralph, and Tina–had particularly harrowing encounters with venomous snakes (a black mamba, a boomslang, an taipan, a gaboon viper, a king cobra, and a rattlesnake), but Samuel saved them all from certain death (he strangled one snake with his bare hands). Can you figure out what type of snake each person encountered and how Samuel took it out?

And Warren of 150 Days of Sodom relates his disasterous Snake on a Plane-related trip to San Diego with zen-like patience and understanding.

This has been your obligatory Snakes on a Plane post for the day.

The groovy vinyl sharity site Mondo Daddykin has closed up shop. While there may not have been a whole lot of horror content, there sure was plenty of music from The Archies, which is great since I fucking adore Archie, Betty, Veronica, Jughead, Reggie and the rest of the gang (Take that, T. Van!).

In honour of this maestro of the bubblegum arts, I present to you one of the as-yet-unsullied files, otherwise inaccessible as of Mondo Daddykin’s retirement; Rods and Rat Finks!

As a kid in the 60’s, I couldn’t resist Roth’s awesome hot rod designs. They were on everything from gum cards and stickers to model cars of his classic “Outlaw” and “Beatnik Bandit,” just to name a couple. Big Daddy’s character Rat Fink became a cultural icon of the hot rod world.

So sayeth Mondo Daddykin! He will be missed, and I hope to see him return some day.

Master of Horror Cartooning Stephen Bissette has written a response (scroll down to the July 25th post) to the Tim Lucas article I linked to yesterday about the gradual supplantation of print ‘zines by blogs. Stephen offers another alternative. What if the release of the films themselves, if not downplaying the need for ‘zines, can be considered the continuation and maturation of the cult movie ‘zine scene?

In fact, many of these releases sport, as extras, nifty and sometimes expansive booklets that are, in fact, l’il fanzines in and of themselves. Add to those print mini-zines the tsunami of DVD bonuses, extras and ‘easter eggs’ we’ve come to take for granted, and you have digital fanzines en masse that clearly are 21st Century kith and kin to their 20th Century precursors, available from far more distribution venues than the mail-order-only-Monster-Kids of the ’60s would have dared to imagine.

There’s plenty more where that came from, and it’s an exhaustive ride. Bissette marries the old and the new in ways that are unexpected yet glaringly obvious in hindsight.

Oh, and Xerox Ferox has got to be one of the coolest names for anything, anywhere.

As I mentioned yesterday, I used to run a comic blog, and it’s always a pleasure when my two main passions coincide. At the San Diego comic convetion over the weekend, Robert Kirkman, writer of the excellent zombie comic The Walking Dead, called out Todd McFarlane, creator of Spawn and numerous toy lines, during a panel. Kirkman asked the question that is on the mind of many a comic and horror fan; when is McFarlane going to get back to the foundation of his enterprise, the drawing of comic books, on a regular basis?

Even better than the clip above (which I can’t recommend unless you’re a fanboy, and even then you should skip to the 5 minute mark) is the reaction from certain factions of the comic community.

Robert, you just made my day. Way to fight the good fight!

In your face McFarlane! In your comic-ruining face!

And so on…

I have no love for McFarlane or his work, but I respect his decision to do what he wants with his time and it baffles me that anyone would presume that because he built his company on comics he should be beholden to them. He’s made it pretty clear from the beginning that comics were merely a stepping stone towards other aspects of the entertainment industry and not a passion upon itself. This tendency to be dismissive of certain artists when they try to branch out and try new things outside their usual genre or medium, including horror, is just sad.

Oh, and the last bit of dialogue was cut out in that clip.

McFarlane - And thanks for making money for Image.
Kirkman - Someone has to.

I didn’t realize just how much news comes flying out of the San Diego comic convention. It’s like having Halloween sneak up on you.

“We’re going to make two, sleazy grindhouse movies that will deliver on the posters… and beyond! This isn’t some Twilight Zone the Movie fucking thing. This is not a faux double feature. This is two fucking movies for the price of one! Your $10 will be well spent at the Grindhouse, baby!” - Quentin Tarantino

The most exciting news to come out of San Diego is a batch of Grindhouse announcements. Clips from Rodriguez’ zombie portion, Planet Terror, were shown, a description of which can be found here.

Tarantino’s segment, Death Proof, is not yet in production. He made up for a lack of clips by revealing the name of the actor playing the villain in his piece, previously believed to be Mickey Rourke. Instead, Kurt Russell will be taking the role. As ridiculous as that may seem to some, this is a man who actually kept his Snake Plissken costume for decades just so he could wear it in the sequel. In related news, Rodriguez is in talks with fellow director/composer John Carpenter about creating music for the film.

And with that piece of news my initial excitement is alternating with the fear that a heavily contrived faux-grindhouse flick just can’t match the sleazy intensity of the real thing. Only time will tell.

Poster courtesy of Bloody Disgusting’s excellent coverage of the convention.

Everything’s coming up ‘zines, those old school photocopied and stapled relics of the past that I just can’t get out of my heart. Tim Lucas discusses the shifting of attention from print to the internet with the recent demise of Psychotronic magazine.

Gavin Smith offers his own thoughts on the subject of print vs. the internet in his editorial for the new FILM COMMENT, where he theorizes that “blogs are more important to people who want to write than they are to people who like to read.” Blogging has certainly made me more attentive to what other bloggers are doing and the Blog-A-Thons that sometimes occur are a testimonial to the proposal that, to some extent, bloggers are writing for each other — not unlike the days when people would start a fanzine for the sole purpose of trading with another fanzine publishers.

Now that sounds familiar. It’s a really great read, particularly for what appears to be my core audience. In a related incident, the phenomenon of comics blogging has grown to the point that there was a panel on the subject at the San Diego comic convention. The first blog I ran was comic-related, and it usually pains me a little when I relalize I left the field just before it exploded. The following report from my evil American doppelganger, Mike Sterling of Progressive Ruin, helps put things into perspective.

…when the audience was asked “Hey, who out there is also a blogger?” pretty much everyone raised their hands, to no one’s surprise.