This is what horror blogging does to me. I spend so much time writing that I have far less time to watch, read or listen. My movie consumption has decreased to the point that my purchases are at a 2-to-1 ratio with what I actually sit down and watch. My beloved reading hammock swings lonely on my balcony. And I haven’t listened to a soundtrack album in ages.

I’m hoping other bloggers can relate to the above. I also hope that they can relate to those glorious moments when something stops the downward spiral and demands your attention, pushing self-imposed deadlines out of your head if only for a moment. This was the case when I stumbled across Rick Trembles’ Motion Picture Purgatory Radio Show while looking for information on the film Neighbourhood Watch. Maybe stumbled isn’t the right word. I’ve been reading Trembles’ comic strip for years, and I’ve been aware of his podcast for months. It wasn’t until I was forced to sit down and listen to an episode for the sake of research that I realized what I was missing.

The most recent episode was particularly engaging as Trembles sits down with FAB Press owner Harvey Fenton and Fangoria associate editor Michael Gingold to discuss the golden age of horror ‘zines. If you’re like me, and you can’t shake that nostalgic feeling for the days when horror fandom required blood, sweat and staples, be sure to check it out.

Name a living director who you believe is a Master of Horror but hasn’t contributed to the television series of the same name, and explain your reason for choosing him or her. Bonus question - Name a director who is on the list who you feel least deserves to be there.

Rod Lott - Bookgasm

At first I thought I should go with someone who has directed a legendary horror film in the past, like William Friedkin or Steven Spielberg, but their body of work is too varied and outside of the genre to even be considered for the title.

Besides, my vote goes squarely to Rob Zombie. I’m not a fan of his music (or his hair), but I’ve been completely (even surprisingly) impressed with his two horror films to date, HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES and THE DEVIL’S REJECTS. The fact that the two films use the same characters but are diametrically opposed in tone, style and intent is impressive enough, but either demonstrate that this man is a born filmmaker with a real vision and making movies for horror fans. Scoff all you want, but I can’t wait to see what he does with HALLOWEEN 9.

As for least deserving to be on the list, that’s easy: Mick Garris. I know if not for him, we wouldn’t even have the show, but he’s: a) generally a TV director, b) carved a career simply by hitching his name to Stephen King’s, and c) done nothing remotely scary.

P.J. - Full Moon Review

I guess if I just list the following flicks, you’ll know my man: Brain Damage, Frankenhooker, and the three Basket Cases.

Frank Henenlotter. Unique. Interesting. Fun.

I’d like to see Henenlotter tackle a carny serial killer. Maybe he’s the twin, deformed brother of the cop who’s after him? Could be good for 60 minutes of freaky mayhem.

I dunno, there’s just something about Henenlotter’s humor that isn’t the slick, self-referential post-modern bullshit that has to hang like a limp, hammy hand on every horror movie/short film made nowadays.

There’re reasons that b-movie and cult horror blogs are out there. Henenlotter’s one of them. William “Snoozefest” Malone is not…

Bill Cunningham - DisContent

I’m actually working with him right now on a new project - Herschell Gordon Lewis. Despite being a 70-something he has more energy (and more myspace friends) than all of the others on the list combined. He’s always coming up with new ideas and ways to make them better. I would love to see him get behind the camera again on a well-financed MOH shoot and really kick ass. He is not nicknamed the “Godfather of Gore” for nuthin’. It has been one of my dreams to work with him as I’m sure it would be for a lot of horror fans out there.

His movies - a combination of quirky, dark humor and gore ushered in a new era in horror - brutal realism. He didn’t just talk or imply the horror - He SHOWED it. If it hadn’t been for Herschell’s classic movies like BLOOD FEAST and WIZARD OF GORE, George Romero wouldn’t have been able to do the things he did in NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD.

So that’s what’s missing on this list - a bit of the old Lewis “Oh my God! Did I just see that?” magic.

Jay C. - The Documentary Blog

Overall, most of my favourite horror directors fall into the list of people who’ve already taken part in the Masters of Horror series. However, there are a few that I think i’d like to see take a stab at it.

Steve Miner - His early involvement in the Friday the 13th series is noteworthy. His latest project, helming the Day of the Dead remake, has Miner going back at his horror roots. But it’s House, the comedy horror classic that makes me think he’d be bring us an interesting episode.

Sean S. Cunningham - As a director, he launched one of the biggest horror franchises of all time, Friday the 13th. He also directed Deep Star Six, the bottom on the list of the late eighties/early nineties underwater films (the others being The Abyss and Leviathan) As a producer, he’s worked on many classics…House, The Last House on the Left, Freddy vs. Jason, The Horror Show…I think he’s a worthy contender.

Lamberto Bava - For two reasons…Demons ruled and his Dad is currently unavailable.

Frank Henenlotter - Director of the ‘Basket Case’ films, Brain Damage (featuring the voice of Zacherley as Aylmer the brain leech), and most importantly Frankenhooker! Great mix of comedy and horror.

Honourable mention - Dan O’Bannon

T Van - Tolerated Vandalism

I haven’t bothered to watch the Masters of Horror series. There are a few directors that I’d like to see direct a future episode [The Pang Brothers, Sam Raimi, Eli Roth, Rob Schmidt] but if I had to pick just one to do the job, I’d pick Alexandre Aja. Aja’s remake of The Hills Have Eyes was brutal and intense. I was never a fan of the original so I didn’t expect much from the remake. I was pleasantly surprised. It’s no secret that I’m a huge fan of Aja’s first major film, High Tension. I know that a lot of fans had problems with this film but I think Aja does an admirable job of building tension and suspense. He has a bright future admit of him and I hope he’ll start directing original features from here on out.

If I had to pick one director who least deserves to be on the list, it’s quite simple: Mick Garris. Why is Mick Garris still getting work? He’s definitely one of the most mediocre directors on the face of the planet. I thought the first half of the Stand was actually quite good but Garris ultimately fucked it up [just like he does with every other Stephen King project he directs]. Would I call Garris a “master of horror”? I don’t think so.

The third in a series of reviews of films shown at this year’s Fantasia international film festival in Montreal.

The cast and crew of a sleazy investigative reporting show are making their way toward their next victim when a truck t-bones their van. When the group steps out of the van, they discover that they may in fact have been killed and sent to Hell, and it will take everything they’ve got to travel the world of the damned and get back to the land of the living.

Hell plays out like a fundamentalist horror show, warning the viewer as to what awaits them on the other side and scaring them into changing their ways before it’s too late. At first the characters’ journey toward the pit doesn’t seem particularly brutal. In fact, it’s a little cheesy, like a Barry Prima version of purgatory. The guards are made up like warriors from Conan The Barbarian, and they start chucking fireballs when the recently damned get out of line. Them, just when you think that this is a piss take version of the afterlife, the detainees are carted into a dusty, blood-encrusted enclosure filled with all manner of primitive torture devices and half-naked souls writhing. When one of the main characters begins her punishment and calls out for her mother, her voice is joined by a chorus of people screaming for the same distant comfort.

Even the relatively innocent aren’t spared. Perhaps the most novel twist in the film, the guardians in this version of Hell are either unaware of the moral worth of their prisoners, or they simply don’t care to distinguish anymore. In one of the more striking scenes, the guards callously mow down people who have paid their penance and are about to enter their rebirth just to get at their target, the escaped wicked.

Unfortunately, there are too many characters and not enough characterization to be spread among them, with the result that while you may feel sympathy with a few of the damned, the majority remain cyphers, a huge mistake in a film where most of the scares come from relating to the vicitms. The overlay of cheap CGI is distracting and takes away from whatever charm the natural landscape evokes. And while there are a number of interesting set pieces, including a torturous orgy for the adulterers and the lost and forgotten children of the damned seeking out and killing absent parental figures, the majority of the film is a mess of pacing, with redundant exposition thrown in at the oddest places.

I’ll admit it could be the cultural barrier, but Hell seems to be a great idea railroaded by a weak script and too much ambition for its meagre resources.

Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Over the past half-year I’ve been obsessing over the Grindhouse experience. Between Sleazoid Express and issues of Cinema Sewer I’ve attempted to relive those days, if only in my mind. I love the idea of a condensed circuit of movie theatres that allowed for the creation of cheap yet audacious fare and the importation of strange films from around the globe. New York wasn’t just a testament to the idea of the melting pot in society at large, but in the cinema as well.

Now, with the video above, you can experience the tail end of those sleazy, wonderful years, if only for a moment.

The second in a series of reviews of films shown at this year’s Fantasia international film festival in Montreal.

A group of women gather together one year after a tragic loss to explore a network of caves and try to buddy up and try to put the past behind them. Once below ground everything that can go wrong does, and the group discovers that they aren’t the only ones roaming the darkness.

Many movie pundits decry the lack of originality in modern cinema. Personally, I’m less interested in how original an idea is than I am in its execution. Most of the films that are considered horror classics have simple storylines which have been told dozens, hundreds, thousands of times before. In every case it’s not a matter of what is shown but how. The Descent is one of those films, and I have very little doubt that it will rank right up there with those stripped-down classic films as time goes on.

Over half of The Descent is a slow burn, with some subtle interpersonal drama, a few well-executed jump scares and a perfect setting for people with claustrophobia. It’s slow, but not quite plodding, and sustains just enough interest to keep your attention. And just when you begin to wonder why everyone’s hyping this movie, everything goes straight to Hell and keeps up the pace right through to the end in a tour de force of carnage and blood.

Neil Marshall’s previous film was the sleeper hit Dog Soldiers, and despite the surface differences there are numerous similarities between that film and The Descent. The protagonists, a group composed entirely of the same gender, must battle their way through an unknown enemy in unfamiliar territory. Perhaps the most refreshing aspect shared between both films, aside from the lack of a romantic subplot, is Marshall’s insistence in making the threat strong instead of turning the characters weak. The women in The Descent aren’t trained warriors as in Dog Soldiers, but they are athletic, smart and definitely capable of swinging a pick axe in a pinch. Like the men in Dog Soldiers, the characters in The Descent use every resource available to them without the need to tout their ingenuity or blather on about it.

Special mention has to be made for the incredible performances of the creatures. Their agility is remarkable. Marshall uses every trick in the book to lend them feral grace and a violent gravity to their every move. I’m not at all sure how much, if any, CGI was used in The Descent, but the simple yet strongly effective make-up could make The Descent the poster boy for the practical effects set.

So far as straight-up nailbiters go, you won’t do any better than The Descent this year. If you get a chance to catch it in its upcoming theatrical run, don’t hesitate.

Horror Roundtable champion David Zee (or as we like to call him up here, David Zed) has posted about as many links in one day as it takes me a week to manage. Among them are an invitation to check out his work at the reincarnation of Horror/Metal ‘zine G.A.S.P. etc., news on the Eurotrash inspired band The Giallos Flame, and a killer Jack Kirby cover. What clinches it is a rare trailer for an unfinished film by the name of Chunkblower. It was to be directed by Jim Van Bebber with a screenplay as written by the world’s most renowned gorehound critic, Chas Balun, practically a guarantee of sleazy, gruesome fun. What a shame that it never got off the ground.

The first in a series of reviews of films shown at the Fantasia international film festival in Montreal.

A woman is murdering people in downtown Seoul, seemingly at random. The only clue she leaves behind at the scene of each crime is a sticker of an anime character, Princess Aurora. As the police try to track her down, one of the officers discovers that not only might there be a method to the killer’s madness, but he may be involved personally.

Princess Aurora starts off with incredible promise which the rest of the film sidesteps completely. The opening scene is one of the most surprising, brutal little vignettes I have seen in a long time. From that first blood-soaked scene, the impression one gets is that this is going to be like a Korean Falling Down, as the petty behaviour of the people around her drive the killer toward deranged retribution. It’s truly unfortunate when the red herring is more interesting than the actual reveal.

Most all of the killer’s victims are introduced as they’re causing grief for people weaker than them. It’s this aspect of the film that really pissed me off. This bullying is the only aspect of their personalities we’re allowed to see, giving us reason to believe that this is how they are 24/7. If the film were an allegory, this flimsy characterization would make some sense. As it stands, the reason we’re shown the victims in this light is to emphasize that they truly deserved it even before we discover why they are being chosen by the killer. The filmmaker has completely stacked the deck here, making it impossible to feel any empathy for the victims, and completely discarding any attempt at creating moral conflict over the killer’s actions. I don’t mind being manipulated, but this is so ham-fisted it’s insulting.

This absence of complexity seeps through to the rest of the film, making all but the end sequences nothing more than a bland police procedural. Princess Aurora has not one but two codas, both of which, like the very beginning, promise a great movie experience that could have been. Here we not only get another visually stunning kill, but the film also delves into issues of personal responsibility, no matter how depraved. It poses some interesting questions, but it would have been nice if those themes had been explored throughout its running time instead of tacked onto the end.

What could have been great, given a little more thought, bypasses good and settles for mediocre.

“Warning! Unless you can stand vivid realism… IT MIGHT SNAP YOUR MIND!”

They say that behind every great man is a woman being terrorized by a rockabilly swamp creature. June Carr Ormond was that woman.

Born in Pennsylvania, when she was still a child Carr’s family made the move to New York City and opened a coffee bar. There, she began a lifetime performing, eventually moving downstairs from the coffee shop to the Rialto theatre and the world of vaudeville. She married in 1935 to Ron Ormond, who moved the clan to Hollywood in order to cash in on the movies, where their speciality was low-budget Westerns as well as B-classics such as Mesa of Lost Women and Untamed Mistress.

By the mid-60s, work in the movies was drying up for the Ormonds in Hollywood and they made the pilgrimage to Nashville, becoming that city’s renowned First Family of Film. Here the Ormond clan, with June as co-producer, costume and set designer, chauffeur to a man in a gorilla suit, sometime star and all-around go-to-it person, took country music, religion, and “the necessity of boobs” and worked their magic on the drive-in circuit with films like The Monster and the Stripper and Please Don’t Touch Me. So wrapped up in the exploitation racket were the Ormonds that their pressbooks actually said “It’s Exploitable!” on the covers. And if that doesn’t stir your soul, you’re dead to me.

What an amazing life. They just don’t make them like they used to. For more information on June and the rest of the Ormond clan, please click here, here and especially here.

Rest in peace, Mrs. Ormond.

When I was a kid, nothing scared me more than the threat of nuclear war. I still vividly remember watching a New Twilight Zone episode where a woman could stop time which ended with her freezing everything just as the bomb was about to hit. That night I slept beside the radio just so that I would be alerted when the inevitable began. Reagan has a lot to answer for.

Since becoming an adult I’ve sought out films with an apocalyptic setting. I don’t know if it’s because it’s one of the few things that can still scare me, it give me an opportuity to face my fears or simply because crisis oiften brings out great characterization. In any event, I’m in luck, because it looks like there’s a resurgence happening in the apocaplyptic genre. The television show Jericho is set for the Fall, and now it seems as if Lion’s Gate will be releasing the film Right At Your Door.

A chemical attack in Los Angeles, as set by terrorists, forces a man to seal off his home to keep from becoming infected. Unfortunately, his wife is on the wrong side of the house and he has to decide whether to allow her in and risk death or watch her die outside. The trailer can be found here, courtesy of a tip from Ain’t It Cool News.

Schedule your ideal drive-in movie line-up. This can be a double bill, double bill with added feature or, if you’re feeling ambitious, Dusk to Dawn. Non-horror titles are allowed.

Bill Cunningham - Discontent

Come on, Steven make it a hard one!

My ideal Drive-In experience would be to go completely old school, and have a dusk til dawn festival of the Universal Horror Movies:

DRACULA, THE WOLFMAN, THE MUMMY, THE INVISIBLE MAN, FRANKENSTEIN, CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, and as the light creeps up behind the big screen finish it all up with THE INVISIBLE RAY.

When I was 13, oh so many years ago, I got to see a re-release of the original KING KONG in the theater. I had seen it on television several times, but this was different, life-changing even. Young kids today need to see this stuff if only to show them how far we’ve come.

My second choice would be to do a whole Hammer retrospective…

Doug Nagy

This is a quap-tacular swords and tits lineup.

Conan the Barbarian
Pheonix the Warrior
Deathstalker
Barbarian Queen

Billy - House of Irony

Werewolf Madness!!!!

I would toss in The Howling. Silver Bullet. And just for kicks, Monster Squad, ’cause Wolfman got nards!

Don May, Jr. - Synapse Films

Dusk to dawn horror… I’d pay to see these:

THE EXORCIST

JAWS

DAWN OF THE DEAD (Romero Original)

ALIEN

David Zuzelo - Tomb It May Concern

From Dark To Dawn… A Tomb It May Concern Drive-In-A-Thon

7:45 P.M.
Trailer Park Pre-Show w/trailers from:
-Night of the Living Dead
-The Candy Tangerine Man
-Invasion of the Bee Girls
-The Thing With Two Heads
-The Flesh Eaters
-Five Deadly Venoms

8:15 P.M.

Camp Blood Carnage in… FRIDAY THE 13TH

10:00 P.M.

You don’t have to go to Texas for a CHAINSAW MASSACRE… PIECES

11:30 P.M.

Eurotrash Trailer Terror w/trailers from:
-The Embalmer
-Nightmare City
-Zombie
-Bay of Blood
-Suspiria
-Anthropophagus

MIDNIGHT

The Blind Dead stalk once more… can you silence YOUR heartbeat to save
yourself from them? RETURN OF THE EVIL DEAD

1:30 A.M.

Feeling Tired? See mud wrestling ninjas collide in the wild feature
that exposes the LIFE OF NINJA

3:00 A.M.

Madness came AFTER THE BOMB! Enter… THE NEW BARBARIANS

4:30 A.M.

Sleaze for the Stay Awakes! Bruno Mattei puts Emmanuelle under the
BLADE VIOLENT in WOMEN’S PRISON MASSACRE!

All the ghoulish mayhem you crave…all the sleaze you deserve… pack
your best girl in the trunk and bring your own barf bags!

Paul Corupe - Canuxploitation

9pm Deathdream
After a classic Gerald McBoingBoing cartoon and ads with dancing BBQ sandwiches, “Classics of 70s Paranoia Horror” night kicks off Bob Clark’s Deathdream. This post-Vietnam zombie classic is a slick but low budget horror production that is spooky, but still light enough for watching on a warm night under the stars. And hey, it actually ends with a scene at a drive-in theatre!

11pm The Crazies
Still an underrated film, The Crazies expands upon the anti-authoritarian ideas George Romero first set out in Night of the Living Dead, which makes it a perfect match with Deathdream. With survivalist themes and a bleak view of disease and biological warfare, it’s another perfect drive-in flick, with a devastating ending to think about on the way home. Make sure the kiddies are asleep in the back for this one!

Curt - Groovy Age of Horror

Ossorio’s four BLIND DEAD flicks would make a perfect double-double-feature. A more personally significant selection, for me, though, would be a triple-bill of Naschy’s NIGHT OF THE WEREWOLF, Franco’s EROTIC RITES OF FRANKENSTEIN (the nude version without Lina), and Larraz’s VAMPYRES.

Sean T. Collins - Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat

My non-horror line-ups are all a bit of a cheat, since my co-workers and I actually did these triple bills (sans drive-in, of course, but plus a whole lot of beer) for periodical mini-marathons that we’ve termed our “Manly Movie Mamajamas”:

ROADS AND/OR WARRIORS
Road House
The Warriors
The Road Warrior

DYSTOPIAN FUTURES AND/OR KURT RUSSELL
The Running Man
Escape from New York
Big Trouble in Little China

THE MASTERWORKS OF PAUL VERHOEVEN
RoboCop
Total Recall
Starship Troopers

But taking things back to horror, I think this would be my ideal trifecta:

Night of the Living Dead
Hellraiser
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

No particular connection there–they’re just favorites of mine that I think lend themselves to communal viewing, and I’d have a hard time coming up with a way to enjoy myself more at the movies than watching those three in a row. And I’d want people to leave feeling like they weren’t at a drive-in so much as in a car wreck, which is why Texas Chain Saw caps off the evening.

Katie

My ideal drive-in movie line-up is my recent $1 DVD bin finds at Wal-Mart - The Phantom From 10,000 Leagues, The Phantom Planet and The Phantom From Space.

They’re all awful, 50’s science fiction movies with phantoms (hilarious looking monsters). You know how aliens were the big thing in the 80’s (E.T, Mac and Me, ALF, etc)? These movies have convinced me that phantoms must have been all the rage in the 50’s. I also think seeing these phantoms on the big screen, at a drive-in, is a must to get the full 50’s phantom experience!

GlowStormLion - Fright Hounds

‘ll keep it sharp and simple, going with a double feature. I’d soften ‘em up with Beethoven and finish ‘em off with Cujo!

Nah, I’ll go with the original Friday the 13th followed by Texas Chainsaw Massacre (also the original)… cuz those are just summer movies.

Red Hawk - Happy Horror

I’d have to say the two Waxwork movies, back to back. I’ve loved the series ever since I was younger, and would love to see them on the big screen. If pressed for a third entry, I’d probably put Rocky Horror Picture Show in at midnight, in-between the two movies. I’ve never seen it in a theater, just at home, but always wanted to, and I think it’d be interesting to see how it would work at a drive-in.

Jay C. - Film Junk

1. The John Carpenter Apocalypse Trilogy!
- The Thing
- Prince of Darkness
- In the Mouth of Madness

or…

2. A Night of Larry Cohen
- Q The Winged Serpent
- The Stuff
- It’s Alive!

Thanks everyone. And, as always, if you like what you see please visit the sites of our contributors.

Coming Soon.net is reporting that Wesley Snipes is heading back to Horror with the film Gallowwalker.

Snipes will play mysterious gunman Kaos, the son of a nun who breaks her covenant with God to ensure his survival. This act brings a curse upon Kaos - all those that die by his gun will return. Hunted by a gang of his undead former victims, led by the vicious Kansa, Kaos enlists Fabulos, a new young warrior to fight by his side.

I can see how everyone is going to assume this is nothing more than Blade 4, and for all we know that’s how it could end up. Still, in theory it seems likely that Snipes’ new character is going to be slightly more ruthless and amoral than Blade. This time he isn’t necessarily fighting selflessly to protect us, but to clean up a mess brought on by his own evil ways. Add to that a locale outside of the standard North American and Asian settings and maybe Snipes can shake off some of the supernatural hero typecasting that would come from this role.

Update - Official site-to-be?

I’ve been obsessing over Lucky McKee’s The Woods for years now, not because of the critical success of his first feature, May, but because the look of the film from what little available is stunning. The release of The Woods has been pushed back so many times it seems unlikely at this point that it will receive a theatrical release. According to reports from out of Fantasia and other film festivals, that may be a good thing. The one thing that delighted me about the feedback being generated is the near-constant comparison to trash uber-classic Troll 2.

Like an audience member pointed out during the director’s Q&A, the movie had a lot of parallels with the abysmal Troll 2. What he failed to mention was that that movie was infinitely more entertaining.

Oh, snap!

Now this brings back memories. Or rather, this brings back memories despite the possibility that I’ve never actually seen this commercial before and it just seems so familiar I have convinced myself otherwise. Whatever.

And was there anything Vincent Price wasn’t great in?