The only piece of bling I’ve worn in the past two decades is an old Iron Maiden pendant I bought from the Welland fair. Now it looks like something else may join Eddy around my neck. I introduce to you, the Snakes on a Plane pendant. Can you dig it? I knew that you could.

It’s the tenth anniversary for Montreal’s Fantasia film festival, the largest of its kind in North America, and I’ll be heading there this weekend for a greasy breakfast and some international horror movies. This year the organizers have decided to go all out, with the release of some of the festival’s best shorts on DVD and the introduction of Fantasia Under The Stars, free outdoor screenings of some of the films they’ve shown in the past. Today they announced the four films, which include Kamikaze Girls, UFO Robot Grandizer, Night of the Living Dorks, and Attack The Gas Station. These screenings will take place at 9pm on Fridays and Saturdays at the Parc de la Paix.

I’m hoping to one day achieve the record for most Jack Kirby posts in a horror blog. Datajunkie has over 40 pages of The King’s obscure supernatural work from the pages of Spirit World on display, with enough Kirby Krackle, Kirby Kollage, and rarely-seen Kirby Kleavage to satisfy anyone. Make sure you look around while you’re there for even more Kirby madness.  And remember, don’t plan on visiting Paris in the year 1983!

Steve Bissette has developed an interesting way to broker a resolution between the United States and North Korea; an old-fashioned campout at Crystal Lake.

Take Kim to Camp Crystal Lake.

Let him shoot arrows into Bing Crosby’s son, slit some throats, lop Betsy Palmer’s head off with a shovel, sing around the campfire and toast some dogs and marshmallows, whisper “sskkkhhh, sskkkkhhhh, kill, kill” with all you good ol’ Connecticut-born Texan dictator-types.

I knew that Kim Jong-il was a huge fan of the cinema, but I never imagined that would extend to the Friday the 13th franchise. It gets even more interesting when you combine his adoration with Jason with this quote from director Shin Sang Ok, who was kidnapped by Kim Jong-il for the express purpose of starting a North Korean film industry.

In some ways he is ignorant. He looks at films like they are social documentaries. I told him that films like Norma Rae reflect reality, but most American films are fiction.

Maybe the censors were right all along and constant exposure to horror movies can lead to a blurring of the line between fantasy and reality.

I wonder what he thinks of Jason Takes Manhattan.

The infamous promotional still of Charles Ogle as Frankenstein’s Monster, then the only surviving piece of the movie, used to scare the Hell out of me when I was a kid.

Considered by many to be the very first horror movie, Edison’s 1910 production of Frankenstein is more than just a historical curiosity. It’s interesting to compare the approach here to both the novel and other subsequent adaptations, and examine the use of devices that would become genre cliches down the road.

Copyright law has always fascinated me, but I’ve primarily looked into print and film, not the internet. Considering the fact that I’m now contributing content to the internet, and occassionally posting material owned by someone else under the assumption that it falls under fair use, I should really be paying more attention.

The Movie Blog was recently shut down by Paramount studios via the site’s ISP over the posting of a photo from the set of the new Transformers movie. This situation has caused quite the uproar, especially considering The Movie Blog owner John Campea had previously complied with polite requests from the same studio to take down other images.

The animosity was short-lived, and the two sides reached an agreement; but others haven’t been as lucky. I decided to look into the laws pertaining to copyright on the internet and found out that, according to the Digital Millennium Copyright Act’s Safe Harbor laws if an ISP is given a cease-and-desist order, they must comply immediately by removing the offending item (or, more likely, the entire site) or risk being named an accomplice in the transgression. Only then is the owner of the offending site informed of what is happening and given an opportunity to state his or her case. Shoot first, ask questions later.

According to this law, Paramount was well within their rights to shut down The Movie Blog, even if the offending photo had been used within the limits of the law. The truly interesting thing is that the bad press from the incident proved to be so strong that Paramount relented and apologized for their behaviour, a possible indication that digital media is gaining in respect, which may lead to the Safe Harbor law becoming neglected and eventually forgotten by copyright holders. Unfortunately, the more likely scenerio is that even though Paramount claims to have made a mistake in shutting down The Movie Blog, their actual error was more likely that they fucked with a fairly popular site with some degree of clout. If the offending blog had been, oh, The Horror Blog, you can be sure there would have been no apology.

‘Nuff said.

Everyone can name trends in horror that they hate. Name one trend in horror movies that you would like to see make a resurgence.

Bill Cunningham - DisContent

I, for one, would love for there to be a resurgence in the old style, “Man in suit” creature features ala CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, ALIEN, even BASKET CASE. Something that shows off the power of makeup FX.

I’d also like to see more Japanese rubber suit monsters - GODZILLA and the like - but done with an eye toward creating a new generation of monster fans with original monsters and scenarios.

I’m tired of zombies, and remakes, and remakes of zombie movies.

Rod Lott - Bookgasm

The anthology film. I know a majority of moviegoing audiences hate anthology films of all kind, but I think they’re perfect for the genre when done correctly. From the Amicus classics to more modern efforts like CREEPSHOW and TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE: THE MOVIE, I’m a sucker for these things. Aside from the very occasional theatrical release, anthologies these days mostly go straight to video. I’d gladly pay to see good ones in the theater, but the likes of CREEPSHOW 3 won’t cut it.

Billy - House of Irony

Trend that I hate: The gadget gimmic. This is one of the most annoying movie schticks that I can think of and is seen in just about every movie genre out there. Basically it works like this. Some wanker, who’s probably friends with the director has a “thing”. Maybe it’s some crap sword with 5 blades and a dragon for a hilt that in reality would snap in half the first time it came into contact with anything solid. Or maybe some guy was drunk and screwing around in shop class and he came up with some device that sort of resembles a gun. Then, in a drunken, cocaine induced frenzy this dim wit and his friends (who have more money than is good for them) decide to make a movie and instead of having any sort of plot or acting to carry the story along, the “thing” is the focus of the story.

Trend that I would like to see come back: CRITTER HORROR!!!!!!!! Critters. Ghoulies. Gremlins. All those little creepy little critters that like to disembowl you and chew on your entrails, I miss them! The kind of horror movie that makes you pull your legs up onto the couch because you just KNOW they are under there waiting to chomp on your achiles tendon!

Sean T. Collins - Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat

This never became a trend, actually, but I’d be up for seeing more horror-vérité mockumentaries of the Blair Witch variety. That movie’s one-off success reminds me of the predictions that Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? was a fluke, but unlike reality tv, Blair Witch never had a Survivor-style follow-up to show that the sub-genre had legs. Fake-true web-horror projects have succeeded, so I wonder if there’s more hay to be made with films done in that style.

David Zuzelo-Tomb It May Concern

One genre I’d love to see return is the Spaghetti Western, but instead of making them “hip” flicks that are incredibly self aware I’d enjoy seeing a small group of filmmakers use the genre as it was in the late 60’s and early 70’s. Using the black hats n’ six shooter conventions of the western as a jump off, the spaghetti westerns were a strange amalgam of a host of styles. All kinds of films, including great comedy, high drama, action, surreal and bizarre (usually sleazy as well in this category) are all lurking behind the genre umbrella of Spaghetti Western. Now, would these neo-oaters sell to the public? I can’t imagine they would, but one really good Western could start a mini-wave of interest. A western as memorable as Corbucci’s The Great Silence, a tale as bizarre as Cesare Canevari’s weirdo freakout Matalo (a.k.a. Kill Him, coming soon on DVD from Wild East that includes a boomerang weilding pistolero), an iconic action classic like Django…anything of those quality could be a great start to unleashing a wave of violent action, mystery and yes…horror tales dipped in the dust and blood of the wild cowboys.

Curt - The Groovy Age of Horror

Of course, I’d like to see the “groovy age” come into its own as a source of inspiration and a period setting for new horror.

I’d prefer to see a shift away from realistic and naturalistic approaches to horror, toward those that favor fantasy, make-believe, childhood fears, etc. In accomplishing that, though, I’d prefer to see a return to greater reliance on prosthetics and practical effects, with CGI playing a much more limited, supporting role (muchos kudos to UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION for this–anyone who bitches about the “CG monsters” needs to pay closer attention, and maybe watch the fucking featurettes).

I’d also like to see less horror targeted at 13-year-olds, and more that has a genuinely adult sensibility–grown-up characters in a grown-up world for a grown-up audience. I mean, never mind the sex and violence (which are legitimately part of it, however), but just think of the difference it makes if the stars are, say, George Hilton and Edwige Fenech in their sophisticated primes, versus some kids from the latest pretty teen show on The WB. When was the last time we saw a horror movie like DON’T LOOK NOW or
POSSESSION?

Paul - Canuxploitation

Since keeping horror “fun” still means the inclusion of a bunch of in-jokes for genre geeks, I’d love to see a resurgence of William Castle-style gimmicks to lighten things up a bit. 3-D seems to be making a comeback with audiences, so it’s the perfect time to give people a unique “interactive” theatre experience with with modern imagineering techniques. Instead of costumed ghouls running up and down the aisles or rubber dead things zip-lining over people’s heads, why not have slasher stars rip through the screen and chase the audience out after each performance? An earthquake film where the whole theatre actually shakes? A C.H.U.D. or Tremors sequel where whole theatre seats are sucked into the floor? Even older exploitation tricks like the “Punishment Poll” in Mr. Sardonicus or the plastic bloody axe handouts for Strait-Jacket would still be exciting for today’s audiences, and provide a reason to head to theatre rather than simply waiting for a DVD or even settling for a bootleg version. Too bad The House on Haunted Hill and 13 Ghosts have already been remade sans gimmicks, as they would have been the perfect vehicles to kickstart a new golden age of Castle-influenced schlock.

T Van - Tolerated Vandalism

I thought last week’s question was tough but this really had me thinking. I would like to see a resurgence of good teen horror flicks. I’m not a teenager anymore but I think that horror movies need that young edge that seems to be lacking in many of today’s horror films. I’m talking about full-on party-mode-teen-horror-movies [almost all of the Friday the 13th films, Chopping Mall, Trick or Treat]. The kind with the obvious stereotypes: jock, cheerleader, nerd, etc.. I guess I’d like to see a return to sex, drugs, and rock n’roll type horror. Many of the horror films of today are set in a politically sanitized universe. Movies like House of Wax and Final Destination had the potential to really go with the young aspect but instead end up looking like a promo reel for young stars hoping to break out on the WB. Let’s face it: hiring “name” stars is not a good thing for horror movies. Cabin Fever toyed with the idea of using lesser known stars and ended up being a pretty decent film because of the casting. More beer and more boobs = more fun.

Doug Nagy

Pervert uncles in movies.

Warren - 150 Days of Sodom

I think we need some more horror stars like Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, and John Carradine. B-movie stars that are in tons of movies and top-billed even when they have less than twenty minutes of screentime. I don’t think anyone is in nearly enough movies nowadays to be able to compare to these guys - and the people that are in a lot of movies, well I don’t like them so much. I think Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead, Chainsaw Massacre III, From Beyond, Death Spa, Phantom of the Mall) is someone I would like to see in more films.

My pick for the man who comes closest to John Carradine’s legacy, Phil Fondacaro (Troll, Ghoulies II, a lot of Full Moon movies, Land of the Dead), but if they shot Willow now, would he even be in it or would there be a bunch of “normal” actors made small with computer effects. What’s the deal? Will there ever be a another small person who makes it as a star? It’s like when whites wore make-up to play the roles of Blacks and Asians in Hollywood’s early days. Now I suppose you could CGI Russel Crowe’s skin to an ebony color, tweek a few more things, and have him play Martin Luther King or someone of that nature. See what I’m getting at? Progress facilitates racism.

Thanks again to all contributors, and if you have your own thoughts on the topic please jot them down in the comments below.

An extra allegedly pulled his dick out during the filming Teen Wolf. If that’s supposed to be his cock, he has a lot to be embarrassed about.

I’m off to catch my bus back home for the weekend, so alas, this will be the only post for the day. Make sure you come back tomorrow for the second installment of The Horror Roundtable. The discussion this time is even better than the first.

According to the filmmakers behind Freak Out, their movie has garnered universal acclaim, including compliments from such media heavyweights as Fangoria, SFX Magazine, Hot Dog, Ain’t It Cool, Film Threat, Bloody Disgusting and many more. Well, make that near-universal acclaim.

But alas MISTER KIM NEWMAN (I empthasise the MR due to the creepy trans-gender ring to the name) has decided that FREAK OUT ain’t all that and myself and co-star James Heathcote are, in fact, ‘a couple of gits’.

For about 46 minutes I was a little steamed that a near-death pube coated jizz sponge would flippantly attack our humble 4 year effort with a twist of his booger catching nose merkin and a grin of the girl-repellant that he commonly know as his face…

What a bizarre reaction. You would think that so many positive reviews of Freak Out would create a buffer for the negative criticism that would inevitably sneak through. I haven’t seen Freak Out yet, and I hope that this episode won’t colour my perception, but this kind of tantrum can only serve to turn people off of the film.

Doctor Who is hands-down the scariest fucking television show ever broadcast. It’s so damn frightening that legions of people who have never met can immediately relate to one another based solely upon their experiences hiding behind the sofa during the scary bits. I have a friend who is unafraid of nearly anything, but when I showed him a Doctor Who novelization with his childhood bogeyman on the cover, he shrieked and averted his eyes.

The Whomix Project collects well over 100 variations on the show’s theme, from the expected ambient, electronic and techno mixes to more daring compositions in metal, ska, funk and kazoo.

Doctor Who scars children for life. And it all starts with that theme song.

Cinema Sewer is a remarkable little movie ‘zine produced by cartoonist Robin Bougie. Devoted to trash films, from slashers to women-in-prison to porno, if it’s sleazy it’s in the pages of this magazine.

I have a Cinema Sewer calendar on my wall. Each day has a trivia question concerning cult cinema, and the other day I noticed that the little notations I write down to remind myself of upcoming events occassionally coincide with that day’s question in unexpected ways. Here are a few of my favourites.

What was the first non-pornographic film with a sex scene?

Little Lulu.

In Rene Cardona Jr.’s “Night of a Thousand Cats”, Hugo Stiglitz stalks women using what form of transportation?

Nagy.

What was the sequel to 1972’s “Blacula”?

Desperation.

What movie starring Bela Lugosi used sets from “Dracula” (1931)?

Fat Bastard.

How big was John Holmes cock?

24.

A group of British researchers are conducting a questionnaire devoted to five films with a high degree of sexual violence; Fat Girl, Baise-Moi, Irreversible, Ichi The Killer and House on the Edge of the Park. Though partially funded by the British Board of Film Classification this research is being done independent of their influence, despite what my source claims. It seems that these five particular films were chosen because they may contain positive virtues that the Board can’t quite put their finger on.

The five films in question are all ones over which they had long debates. In each case there were scenes involving sexual violence on which they had to make difficult decisions: whether to cut, what to cut? In making these decisions, they are partly governed by legal requirements. But also they have to make judgements about the films, and make interpretations about the place of the sexual violence within them. To do this, they take what help they can get from available research.

The research that is available doesn’t begin to answer all of the BBFC’s questions. For example, how does the context in which sexual violence is shown affect people’s understanding of it, and response to it? What impact do their own cuts have on the ways people see these films? They are funding this project because we showed them that there were ways to find out.

I think it’s interesting that a censor is looking for outside help in determining whether this (mostly) new wave of ultra-violent films are in fact justified in showing disturbing material. Usually it takes decades before they even consider that a film with shocking and brutal violence has any artistic merit.

I know I’m stretching here but I’ve got to say, the Transformers teaser is one of the more frightening trailers I’ve seen in a long time. How sad is it that a giant robot toy tie-in can be this effective at building suspense when movies that actually attempt to creep you out aren’t up to the task. Maybe one reason is that this teaser isn’t just comprised of the best parts of the movie, but is a mini-narrative on its own, which allows it to reach a creepy crescendo that more fractured, quick-cutting trailers can’t match.

The big news today is the possible casting of Johnny Depp in the latest stab at a cinematic adaptation of Richard Matheson’s I Am Legend. The following rumours are just a small sample of those flying around the internet.

1) The only role Depp could possibly play in the film, since it revolves around the last normal man alive, is as one of the vampires, particularly Ben Cortman, the lead character’s nemesis.

2) The Ben Cortman character has been written out of the script, and the vampires will be savage, inarticulate creatures. Depp will be playing a fellow survivor named Philip.

3) Johnny Depp will be replacing Will Smith as the lead.

Alright, that last one was mine. Seriously, wouldn’t Depp, who has a penchant for expressing isolation and madness, be about a thousand times better than Smith as the lead character, Neville? Does Smith even have that much clout in the industry anymore? And hasn’t Depp’s star risen enough to be cast as the lead as opposed to being relegated to second banana.

It seems as if everyone is applauding the decision to make Depp the villain of the piece. While I think he’d be great in the part, it seems like a waste of time if he isn’t playing off someone equally strong. And if the second rumour is true, then what’s the point of the film at all, unless Depp’s character is replacing the female character from the book.

Finally, isn’t it about time that someone did a straight adaptation of I Am Legend? I hadn’t read it until last year because of my aversion for all things vampiric and I now realize my mistake. I’m not against tinkering with the source material to suit the needs of film, but I Am Legend is practically fool-proof. It’s short, it wouldn’t cost a lot to make, and it’s one of the best horror stories ever committed to print, with an ending that stays with you for days. Not that this new try won’t succeed, but why are we three tries in and it still seems like they’re not even attempting to stick to the book?