I live in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, the nation’s capital and have done so for over four years now. I fucking hate Ottawa. Situated partway between Montreal and Toronto, Ottawa is passed over time and time again when it comes to really cool stuff, particularly when it comes to the selection at the horrorphobic repertory theatres in town.

That said, there is one area in which Ottawa seems to excel. I wouldn’t swear to it, but Ottawa must have one of the largest amounts of low-budget and no-budget horror filmmaking per capita in all of Canada. There’s Lee Demarbre of Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter fame, Brian Singleton’s Forest of the Dead, and the recent production of Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer starring Robert Englund. And then there’s the prolific Brett Kelly, with his steadily improving output of backwoods masterpieces. His last, My Dead Girlfriend, is one of my favourite films in what is turning out to be a remarkably strong year for horror and will be available late October through Tempe Video.

Last week local alternative rag Ottawa Xpress ran a profile on his next project, Prey For The Beast, a film which screenwriter Jeff O’Brien calls “Deliverance meets Night of the Demon”.

Oh, fuck yeah.

According to the Vatican’s lead exorcist, some of the last century’s greatest atrocities were committed by the demonically possessed.

“Of course the Devil exists and he can not only possess a single person but also groups and entire populations. I am convinced that the Nazis were all possessed. All you have to do is think about what Hitler — and Stalin did. Almost certainly they were possessed by the Devil.”

Considering that Father Amroth is getting up there in age, part of me really wants to shrug this off like you would a grandparent’s outdated and institutionalized prejudices. But simply dismissing the heinous actions of two the 20th century’s most notorious mass murderers, and especially the actions of most of a nation, as the result of demonic possession is a little too convenient. This is precisely the kind of thinking that could lead to becoming complancent and ignoring a similar problem when there’s still a chance at fixing things before they get out of control.

When I first heard that screenwriter and producer Joseph Stefano had passed away, my most vivid thought wasn’t of his script for Psycho or his creation with Leslie Stevens of seminal television creature feature The Outer Limits. No, my attention was riveted by the news that the writer for Snowbeast had died.

Made-for-TV in the 70s, Snowbeast involves a sasquatch which terrorizes a ski resort, not unlike Jaws in the snow. Snowbeast is legendary at the studio where I work, and it comes up in conversation at least once every two or three weeks, so it saddens me that someone who created a work that brought so much joy into the lives of so many has left us.

So here’s to a man who, despite his reservations towards the genre, was remarkably talented nonetheless. Rest in peace, Mr. Stefano.

I try my best to post only horror items on this blog. I know that discussing topics other than horror is a slippery slope, and if I let myself go even a little bit it could become a routine. This is why I will only post those non-horror items which I consider to be of the utmost importance and gravity; earth-shattering announcements that simply must be conveyed to my readers.

At long last, Gymkata is being released on DVD.

I have a very special relationship with Gymkata. Everytime I visited J. in Montreal we would head over to the Metro Video at Du Parc. They had a phenomenal collection of cult movies, and nestled in their action section was a big-ass box full of gymnastic martial arts mayhem. As the store slowly replaced their VHS with DVD, I would enquire as to the purchase of Gymkata and each time I was denied. On a few occassions I offered to pay for the movie but let them keep it in perpetuity as their sole film considered irreplacable. Once again, not realizing my sincerity, my offer was denied. The last time I was in there, Gymkata was gone. And so was a little piece of my soul.

But now the world rejoices, for Gymkata will be released on January 30th, 2007. Truly we will witness the skill of gymnastics, and the kill of karate!

GYMKATA!

One-stop shopping; everything you need, right at your fingertips.

I went through a bubblegum card phase as a kid, and one of my most prized sets was a horror hodgepodge that included films like the remake of The Fly and Pumpkinhead, but I would have flipped if there had been a set of straight-up zombie cards. Answering my prayers, Bubblegumfink has cranked out yet another one of his spectacular faux-bubblegum card sets, this time setting his sights on the original Dawn of the Dead by George A. Romero.

Dead Rising, Capcom’s latest zombie game, has proven to be incredibly successful in the first two weeks since it’s release. The game involves a photographer willingly entering a zombie-infested mall to get a scoop and using every possible item within to fight his way back out again. Since I don’t own an XBox 360, I can’t vouch for it’s quality, though I’ve had a number of people at work approach me with unsolicited praise which is always a good indicator. Capcom has released a faux-scientific report that details a possible reason for the zombie infection.

Additionally, rats who reached stage 4 were able to consume items that no rodent would normally consider to be appropriate food. We postulate that this mechanism is in place to guarantee a steady supply of nutrients for the parasite.

The entire thing is kind of dry in its presentation, which seems at odds with the kind of person you can imagine them marketing this to. Still, the explanation itself is interesting.

The results of the 2006 Hugo Awards, a ceremony which celebrate achievements in science-fiction, were announced Saturday night. Among the winners was a two-part installment of the Doctor Who relaunch for Dramatic Presentation: Short Form, entitled The Empty Child and The Docotr Dances. Among the competition for the award were two other episodes from the same season and one episode of Battlestar Galactica, so I guess the odds were in Doctor Who’s favour.

If you’re wondering why I’m even mentioning this, as I’ve said in the past I believe Doctor Who is by far the scariest television series ever broadcast. And the two episodes which won the competition are without a doubt the most frightening thing I have witnessed on the small screen.

Congratulations to the Doctor Who team for the well-deserved win. I’m looking forward to season 2.

The big news of the day appears to be Horror Roundtable miscreant Don May, Jr. and Billy Kirkus’ discovery of a large amount of unused footage from John Carpenter’s Halloween. These are the multiple takes that ended up on the cutting room floor. Though the boxes haven’t been completely catalogued yet, May seems convinced that it will contain at least a few interesting surprises.

“The most exciting possibility is that Wallace told me about the original ending—and if this is indeed all the original camera negative, then we certainly have it. Wallace explained that he always thought it was funny that, even in the ‘original shooting scripts’ that are for sale for HALLOWEEEN, the ending always has Michael Myers disappearing at the end. That isn’t the way they originally shot it. The original shooting script, and the way the movie was initially filmed, had Michael dying at the end.”

May has also been offering up a few tidbits on the DVD Maniacs message board.

“One of the things I am hoping to find is the original opening sequence, without the mask overlay. I’ll have to ask Wallace (or Carpenter, if he calls me) about it, but I think, when little Michael goes to the house and puts on the mask before he kills his sister, that the “mask” portion of the screen may be an optical effect. If so, chances are we may have the un-masked version, or an alternate take version, of the opening scene death scene without the mask covering the picture! THAT is something I want to see…”

I’m not that big a fan of Halloween (more of a Black Christmas man, myself) but I love the discovery of hidden treasures from the days before every piece of footage from even the most unassuming movies was tucked away for the inevitable DVD extras. It would be especially instructive watching Carpenter at work and actually seeing the process that went into making a low-budget horror film of that era.

Let’s Go J-Sound has posted twin tracks by Japanese singing duo The Peanuts, known to most people as the tiny fairies from the original Mothra. The Peanuts had a lengthy career, yet most of their non-kaiju output has faded into obscurity. Get them while you still can and get jumping to that Japanese Bossa Nova sound.

Exclamation Mark has decided to call it a day and retire his excellent Vintage SciFi and Horror review site. However, he will be posting on his new blog, Exclamation Mark’s Site For Sore Eyes. We’ll be keeping an eye on him, particularly considering his peculiar fondness for giant syringes.

About a week ago a contributor to Film Rot took Warren of 150 Days of Sodom to task (and I presume my own site by association) for his views on MST3K. I wondered if Warren would respond, but I wasn’t expecting him to just shrug it off. You’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din. In honour of your restraint I deleted my original expletive-intense response and wrote out this one in it’s place.

Curt of Groovy Age of Horror and David of Tomb It May Concern have fully recovered from their weekend of very manly spooning at Fanex and have provided us with pictures from the event and more direct-to-DVD reviews than you could hope for, respectively. I don’t know if it’s the forced perspective or not, but Curt’s arm looks larger than his head. Hey, man, I was kidding about the spooning.

Did I mention that I’m on a huge Godzilla kick these days? I did? Tough. Rue Morgue has posted a sneak preview of their September issue on their message board, and the Big G made the cover. I’ll be picking up my copy at The Festival of Fear this weekend where I’ll spoon or be spooned by Nagy.

Finally, the Giant Monster Blog has reappeared after a lengthy absence with a tip on a really great Godzilla-inspired contest put on by Classic Media.

A funny thing happened when I started this blog. Since I spend so much time writing about horror movies, I find that I have less time to actually watch them. However, while my viewing habits may have decreased, my desire to accumulate horror movies has not. Chalk it up to a general lack of other vices.

In an effort to curb my spending at this weekend’s Festival of Fear, I have decided to list all the horror movies that I own but have yet to watch fully.

Godzilla Tokyo S.O.S., Godzilla vs. Biollante, Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah, Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla, Godzilla, Mothra, King Ghidorah - All-Out Giant Monster Attack, Godzilla vs. Destroyer, War of the Gargantuas, Monster From a Prehistoric Planet, Gamera 2 - Advent of Legion, Gamera 3 - Revenge of Iris, Rodan, Gamera The Invincible, War of the Monsters, Destroy All Planets.

Death Carries A Cane, Torso, Blood and Black Lace, Seven Blood-Stained Orchids, Case of the Scorpion’s Tail, Amuck, Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have The Key, Who Saw Her Die?

Son of Frankenstein, Ghost of Frankenstein, House of Frankenstein, Invisible Man returns, Invisible Woman, Invisible Agent, Invisible Man’s Revenge, Dracula’s Daughter, Son of Dracula, House of Dracula, Werewolf of London, Frankenstein meets the Wolfman, She-Wolf of London.

Reeker, Komodo vs. Cobra, The Dark, Evil Aliens, Peeping Tom, Funny Games, The Devils, Street Trash, Martyr, Tale of Two Sisters, I Spit On Your Grave, Last House on the Left, Baise Moi, Maniac, Nudist Colony of the Dead, Bird with the Crystal Plumage, The Nun, 13 Tzameti, The Testament of Dr. Mabuse, Onibaba, White of the Eye, Ils, Venom, Call of Cthulhu, Hell of the Living Dead, Return of the Evil Dead, The Ghost Galleon, Night of the Seagulls, Snake People, Snake Woman, Black Cobra Woman, Fury of the Wolfman, Horror Express, Sandman, Skinned Deep, Frogs, Curse of the Devil, Fear No Evil, Miner’s Massacre, Satanico Pandemonium, The Bunker, Deathwatch, Slash, Fiend, Amityville 3-D, Sleepaway Camp 3 - Teenage Wasteland.

You know you have a problem when you’re relieved that you only came close to breaking 100.

King Kong is on top of the world!

Here are three commercials for Mego tie-ins to the 1977 King Kong remake, one for models, another for a straw(!), and a third where the kids get to shoot King Kong off the top of the World Trade Center. So much for pathos. And is it just me, or did that kid seem to be aiming at a different target than the one on the building?

Horror Roundtable contributor Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat has the scoop on using YouTube to create a form of serialized entertainment. As interesting as the idea is, it took me almost an hour to pick out the horror element from all the soap opera, and even then it was a little underwhelming. To Lonelygirl 15’s credit, if this actually ends up turning nasty it could be worth the slow build-up. Hopefully someone will try something similiar someday, with more overt horror elements.

Name an obscure gem which you can recommend without reservation.

Don May, Jr. - Synapse Films

Well, not to toot my own horn or anything but LEMORA: A CHILD’S TALE OF THE SUPERNATURAL is not only an obscure gem, it’s a GREAT movie, too!

Sean T. Collins - Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat

This is an easy one, Steven: Dahmer, written and directed by David Jacobson and starring Jeremy Renner in the title role. This movie fell through the cracks thanks in large part to its cover design, which makes it look like a direct-to-video schlockfest and qualifies it for inclusion in the ubiquitous Dahmer/Ted Bundy/Ed Gein/Gacy four-pack in a bargain bin near you. But this is intelligent, moving horror filmmaking, with a crushingly powerful lead performance by Renner and an equally strong turn by Artel Karåyou as Rodney, whose victimization serves as the centerpiece of the film. Bruce Davison shows up in a memorable supporting role as Jeffrey’s father Lionel; if you’ve ever seen an interview with the older Dahmer, you’ll recognize the shellshocked air Davison brings to his performance. I can’t think of another movie that better captures the sheer, purposeless sadness of serial murder. Highly recommended.

Nick - DVD Trash

Since I’m a fan of Turkish cult classics, then I can only recommend picking up the Kilink movies from Onar Films, but if you can find it, go for their recent release of 3 Mighty Men ( 3 Dev Adam),starring Captain America and El Santo, plus it also includes some (un)forgettable dialogue such as “Spider is a child-minded lunatic”. Failing that and if your after some grubby Italian sleaze then try and track down Renato Polselli’s “Rivelazioni di uno psichiatra sul mondo perverso del sesso” - a film I’ve only ever seen for sale at conventions!

Paul Corupe - Canuxploitation

The Lift (1983)

I bought this exceptional Dutch horror film from the 1980s for a few bucks
solely on the basis of the tag line: “Take the stairs! For God’s sake–take the Stairs!!” Who knew that a film about a killer elevator could be handled without resorting to outright
camp, and actually work! Dick Maas’ low-budget shocker has drunken businessmen suffocating from lack of oxygen, heads sheared off by elevator doors, and a blind man going head first down the shaft. Huub Stapel does a pretty good job as Felix Adelaar, a put-upon elevator repairman who believes that the technology SNAFU is the fault of a negligent American corporation. Admittedly, it’s slowly paced, but it has its share of humour and patient viewers will find the film ultimately rewarding. Remade by Maas in America as The Shaft in 2001.

Doug Nagy

The Devil Master!

GlowStormLion - Frighthounds

I suppose I can’t say Frankenfish, huh? Well, fine then! Rachel’s Attic it is and if THAT’s not obscure enough then I guess Vampiyaz is about as obscure as my knowledge extends.

Louis Fowler

When I was kid, we lived in a super small Texas town called Blooming Grove where my dad was Chief of Police. There was only one video store in town, and we got free rentals there. It was a one-man backroom-type of operation that seemed to be stocked exclusively with nothing but b-movies. From shitty comedies like Transylvania 6-5000 to the Wizard video cut of Equinox called The Beast, this store was what pretty much shaped my viewing habits for the rest of my life. This is where I first saw Re-Animator, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Ghost Fever with Sherman Helmsley. My dad was quite liberal with what we rented, as long as it wasn’t porno. So, my brother and I took advantage of this, but there was always one movie I was afraid to rent: the 1972 Devil-shocker Brotherhood of Satan. The book itself literally gave me a nightmare that I can remember to this day, that made me afraid to even touch the box. I was convinced, at the age of 8, that that movie was evil.

It had always stuck with me, but I had never found it again. One night, when I was about 19, I found that copy, with that same creepy box, in the 99 cents bin at my local Hastings. Older, and much more jaded, I rented it and Goddamn if it didn’t scare the shit out me. It’s somewhat cheesy and badly-filmed, but it’s atmospheric, dreamlike, non-linear qualities gave me shivers like I was watching something I wasn’t supposed too—like when I was that Manson doc for the first time. I was more than a little freaked out.

It was released on DVD a few years ago, but I haven’t been able to find a copy. I’d like to watch it now, at the age of 27. So if you get the chance, check it out.

Joakim - Mexploitation

I thought about this a little bit, and then it struck me. It would have to be Tetsuro Takeuchi’s 2000 movie “Wild Zero “, a movie I love in so many ways it’s hard to know where to start.

It’s a vehicle for Japanese rock band Guitar Wolf, for one. This means rock star superpowers, fighting the good fight (rock vs. idol pop), electrified guitar picks used as shuriken, ridiculous cool-guy posing, and so on. At one point, the lead singer of Guitar Wolf (wonderfully also named Guitar Wolf) strums his guitar to set the right tone, then immediately jumps off a building.

But that’s not all. This is a horror movie, where UFOs turn people into zombies. The zombies and UFOs must be defeated, and so they are, by a team-up of Guitar Wolf (the band), their greatest fan, and his new-found girlfriend, who for some odd reason scares off men when she gets naked… To complicate things, our heroes are chased by the owner of a former rock club which has now gone over to the dark side and features idol pop as the main attraction.

And the climactic scene features a katana that… no, you’ll just have to see it. It’s incredibly silly, of course, but that’s the point, and it’s so frenetically paced and action-packed that you won’t really know what hit you. I saw someone calling this “j-horror” on some site a few days ago, and saying it was not as good as Kairo, I think, but that’s totally missing the point. This is comedy, something between Peter Jackson’s Braindead/Dead Alive and Ed Wood if he had a bigger budget, Japanese rock stars as actors, and the comedy was voluntary. Highly recommended, I defy anyone not to love this movie.

Man, this is difficult question for me. There are so many that I would love to recommend. The one that comes to mind at this moment is one I saw recently on cable. The flick is called, WARNING SIGN. I’m not sure if it was a made-for-tv flick, but it plays out like one. It’s from 1985 and stars some schlock and exploitation veterans such as Yaphet Kotto, Sam Waterson, and Kathleen Quinlan. It was directed by Hal Barwood who for some reason went on to direct and write for video games.

Tim - Mondo Schlocko

The premise of WARNING SIGN is real simplistic, and one that I wish I came up with first. Kathleen Quinlan is the only wage-slave securty guard in a highly secured bio-lab in a hick town that is engineering a United States funded virus under the guise of “yeast research”.

A virus outbreak occurs in the lab and she has to shut down the entire building locking in many pissed off employees who just want to get off work for the weekend. Not to mention the cold blooded Men in Black types who arrive to “rescue” the survivors.

The virus takes hold of many of the scientists and workers in the lab which causes them to rage out, and have this immense desire to kill everyone who is not infected. And poor Quinlan is just trying to do her job and keep the outside world secure, while trying to stay alive as many go bonkers and hack and slash their way through the halls of the building.

There is not much in way of gore, but the film is still rather violent. The science or pseudo-science as it were is laughable, but goes well with the context of the flick. It has many suspensful moments and you eagerly watch as this poor woman who is tortured by the infected and later hunted by them tries her best to survive. Things also get complicated as her husband, the town’s sherriff, gets infected in an rescue attempt.

Simply put, WARNING SIGN, is a immensely suspensful popcorn midnight kind of flick that becomes a zombie flick without the flesh eating.

David Z. - Tomb It May Concern

You have to try out Mad Foxes, the sleazeploitation classick from the Erwin Dietrich trashbucket, available on a really nice disc from Dietrich’s Swiss company. This one has groovy cars, bikers, nudity, violence, kickboxing and sequences that will have your jaw bouncing off the floor at nearly every turn. The lead guy is a drunken womanizer that gets hot chicks, only to find himself craving revenge after he pisses off a neo-nazi bikerbunch. The bikers kill our man’s friends, bedbuddies and even…well, one more big surprise, until he
martials his karate kicking pals and go as far as force feeding a man his own, well…another big surprise! It does not get better than this….believe me. Possibly the best “castrated nazi with a bomb going bonkers” movie ever shot.

You can get it here.

Ah, and the theme song is by KROKUS!!!! Not good…but…wow!

I love writing this blog, but there are some days where I feel like I’m running out of steam and have to force myself to get started. Then there are some days where the stars align, Cthulhu rises from ancient R’lyeh, and the whole thing becomes worth the effort.

A producer from Wife Swap has contacted me asking if I would post a notice concerning a casting call they’re arranging. Will I? Fuck, yeah!

Casting Producers for ABC TV’s Wife Swap will attend this year’s Monster-Mania Convention August 25th-27th in Cherry Hill, NJ to find great families who love horror movies, collectibles, and who belong to monster and horror clubs to participate in Season 3 of this prime time hit!!

Interviews are now being scheduled for Saturday, August 26th, 2006 ONLY in the Celebrity Autograph Room. Appointment times will fill up fast so contact us as soon as possible to reserve your time! Your family can still be considered even if you miss the interview day.

Referrals are strongly encouraged. Ideal families are unique, fun-loving, laid-back, and pride themselves on being individuals who stand out from the crowd! Producers hope to feature families that are something we have never seen on TV!

All families featured on the show receive a $20,000 honorarium.
Potential families can live anywhere in the continental United States and should consist of two parents who have at least one child, age 6 or older, living at home.

The premise of Wife Swap is that one parent from each household swaps places for a week to experience how another family lives. It is an incredible family opportunity to both learn and teach different family values. The New York Post says, “It should be called ‘Life Swap’ because it’s not just the wives who learn something here. It’s the families.”

Please call Casting Directors Catherine Pappas at 212-404-1472 or Rachelle Mendez at 212-404-2442 to schedule an interview time during the convention or to receive an application if you are unable to attend. You may also contact us by email at Catherine.Pappas@rdfusa.com or Rachelle.Mendez@rdfusa.com.

Well, that made my day. If anyone reading this has an opportunity to go, please do and report back here with all the dirt.