Dirt Dragons is a simple Flash shoot ‘em up created in conjunction with Tremors 4: The Legend Begins. In it, you play a gunslinger hired to take out as many worms as you can before they creep up on you and swallow you whole. The worms appear at four different distances, and while it’s easy enough to hit them, the difficult part is in keeping your weapons and ammo straight. While it’s nowhere near difficult, Dirt Dragons does have a certain kind of Duck Hunt charm that kept me playing for much longer then I could afford to. And, hey, it’s Tremors. Everyone loves Tremors.

“It was what I thought it was and as long as it was what I thought it was going to be fine, which was the movie that I used to leave home for on Saturday afternoon and go and see so I could scream real loud, yell and freak my friends out and do stuff in. It was all about a Saturday afternoon excitement film.” - Samuel L. Jackson

Snakes on a Plane opens this Friday, and I couldn’t be more excited. However, seemingly unlike the rest of the world, I’m not throwing my hands up in forced ironic anticipation. It’s driving me crazy seeing this referred to as a “bad” movie when all reports point that it actually takes itself fairly seriously within its premise. Regardless of how it plays out you can be assured that many moviegoers hoping for another Scary Movie won’t be expecting the level of violence that has been promised.

What’s happening to modern audiences? Why are so many moviegoers attempting to be more “hip” than some of the movies they watch. And why horror movies? People can suspend their disbelief for a movie where a flying man wears his underwear on the outside of his clothes, but a plane full of snakes is pushing it. I regularly see people who can swallow Lord of the Rings and Star Wars without batting an eye organizing “bad movie” nights that are comprised of anything but. It’s gotten to the point where some amateur MST3K players have created a ridiculously unfunny script to be yelled out loud during screenings of Snakes on a Plane, not unlike The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

It may seem that my stance is at odds with the Samuel L. Jackson quote above, but it was his response in interviews that first enticed me into wanting to watch Snakes on a Plane. Since the demise of the Grindhouse and Drive-In circuits, the rise of a monolithic studio system and the retreat of independent horror movie mavens to video, it’s rare that a fast-paced, goal-oriented, exploitation film hits the local theatre. I crave something that delivers exactly what it promises with no frills or tacked-on moral or ulterior motive. And it’s not that I’m against screaming out loud or freaking out friends in the theatre, I just prefer it to be somewhat organic, responding to what’s actually happening onscreen as opposed to ignoring the movie entirely and trying to entertain a roomful of strangers with preconceived notions or, God help us, a script.

To help combat this trend, The Horror Blog will be spending the next week with an emphasis on Snakes on a Plane. Fasten your motherfucking seatbelts.

The Exorcist places third in poll on cinema’s best bedroom scenes. Hats off to the British, quite possibly the most fucked up country on Earth.

The Dead Pit podcast interviews 80’s scream queen Linnea Quigley.

The title and plot of the aformentioned Coffin Joe film revealed.

Warren expresses his disgust with the MST3K crowd aka people with no friends to watch movies with. Amen, brother.

Horror Roundtable regular Rod Lott’s Bookgasm turned 1 a couple of days ago. Bookgasm is the place to find all your trash and pulp fiction and non-fiction needs, covering everything from Westerns to Crime to Snakes on a Plane to Russ Meyer and every other genre under the sun. When I was choosing the Hard Case Crime books to take camping with me, Bookgasm was the first place I turned to. Wish them a happy birthday by popping in and taking a browse.

The indispensible DVD Trash is celebrating its first birthday with a contest. While you’re there, make sure to read on about Daria Nicolodi’s involvement in Argento’s third Mother film.

Congratulations, and I wish both sites many more years of magnificent genre blogging to come.

X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut’s CosmoBlog is one of my favourite sharity sites. I was going to post a clip of the day to his extensive Dr. Who selection way back when I first began The Horror Blog, but one thing led to another and it got lost in the shuffle. Recently, after a short hiatus, the X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut has produced a whopping 15 soundtracks from various Toho giant monster movies, including Godzilla Vs. The Thing, Godzilla Vs. Monster Zero, and a symphony presentation of some of Akira Ifukube’s more memorable themes. Sprinkled throughout are a smattering of other Japanese fantasy treats, from children’s Godzilla storybook records to the Mahou Sentai MagiRanger album and much more. In fact, all this kaiju talk has inspired me to crack out a dozen or so Godzilla films for a Tokyo-destroying movie marathon.

The Kaiju madness begins here and moves forward to the present.

Name your favourite horror movie weapon.

Bill Cunningham - DisContent

I would have to say “Freddie’s glove of knives” is the top weapon of choice. Not out of the effectiveness of the weapon per se, or its range, but from the visceral emotions the glove conjures up in its victims (and the audience).

It’s very effective when it screeches along the iron bars, or when it leaves neat rows of slashes across a victim’s stomach. People see, hear and feel that - and they can immediately relate.

Sean T. Collins - Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat

I was gonna say Ash’s chainsaw-hand from Evil Dead 2–I’m not as much of a Raimi/Campbell fan as some people, but when he first fires up that bad boy and says “groovy,” kiddo, he ain’t kiddin’–but then I realized: Can anything beat the meathook from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre? And then I realized: Yes–the Box from Hellraiser.

Don May, Jr. - Synapse Films

Favorite Horror Movie Weapon?

That would have to be the flying silver sphere in the PHANTASM series.

Who wouldn’t want to unleash one of those things on someone they hate… and watch their brains and blood shoot six feet in the air!?

Mark - Exclamation Mark’s Vintage Sci-Fi/Horror Review

I may be stretching the weapons criteria a bit here, but two images popped into my head immediately. First, Peter Cushing using the shadow of a windmill to create an impromptu image of a cross as a weapon against the vampire, Baron Meinster, in Brides of Dracula.

Next, the two men using that ridiculously giant syringe in an attempt to bring down the giant in The Amazing Colossal Man.

Billy - House of Irony

I thought about this good and hard while on my way to work. I was a-blur with visions of chainsaws, sharpened poles jammed through rib cages, shovels, sledge hammers, clawed hands, machetes and lawnmowers. The list is endless. There are so many creative ways you can maim, murder or disembowel another human, so how then could I chose from amongst them?

I then remembered a show I had been watching on armour, in particular bullet proof vests, how it can stop just about anything with the exception of this weapon. What really astounded me about the whole show is that there is 1 weapon above all others which has stood the test of time, and has been one of the greatest weapons we have ever developed. I chose the knife!

Paul Corupe - Canuxploitation

I have to go with the deadly meat grinder from Ted V. Mikels The Corpse Grinders. Okay, so it looks like a cheap wooden box with a conveyor belt on one side and a ground-beef spewing faucet on the other, but it’s really the perfect murder machine: as in the film, you can simply pack the chewed-up remains of your enemies into tins of Lotus Cat Food–no muss, no fuss, and no pesky clues lying around for spoil-sport do-gooders. And who couldn’t use a little extra cash from crooked pet stores?

David Zuzelo - Tomb It May Concern

Without a doubt I’d love to add a few extra sets of BALLS to my evil horde of killing weapons. Phantasm may have been a great film, but the evil Spheres of Death went a long way in the film being so popular. Next time my neighbors decide to practice the drums under my window for 7 or 8 hours I’d love to send a screeching horde of silver n’ gold spheres down the corridor to beat and chop some manners into them!

Rod Lott - Bookgasm

I’m particularly fond of the recent death-by-wire (or laser) trend that slices people into nice, big chunks, as evidenced in CUBE, FINAL DESTINATION 2, RESIDENT EVIL and GHOST SHIP. For no other reason than the effect is cool and I never tire of watching people fall apart in symmetry.

T. Van - Tolerated Vandalism

Favourite horror movie weapon? Easy. Screwdriver to the ear from Dawn of the Dead. It’s so simple and so effective. Pay attention to Eli Roth’s Cabin Fever for his homage to this wondeful weapon of doom.

Curt - The Groovy Age of Horror

Whether in the hands of the Devil or an angry mob of villagers, there’s
something beautifully primal about the pitchfork.

Joakim - Mexploitation

My favourite for it always making me laugh is probably the lawnmower, both in Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive (aka. Braindead), which everyone knows, but also in Frank Henenlotter’s Frankenhooker, a much less popular and well-known movie that also features “supercrack”, a special, extra strength crack that makes crackwhores literally explode in fountains of gore and body parts, after an initial high that includes sexual excitement and an urge to strip topless and dance around to horrible, horrible 80s music. I’m not sure that counts as a weapon, but it still makes me laugh.

On the more serious side, I’ve always loved a particular scene from Argento’s Suspiria. Wandering around the attic of a German ballet school, trying to escape a murderer, a girl jumps through a small window into a room, since the room has an open door through which she believes she can make her escape. What she’s not suspecting is that the room is filled to about hip height with barbed wire, as attic rooms in German ballet schools often are, for very obvious and logical reasons. The movie is full of original deaths and murder weapons, such as occult murder by demonically possessed seeing eye dog, but the barbed wire is probably the high point.

Louis Fowler

Okay: I know this may be a terribly run-of-the-mill answer, but really, the greatest horror film weapon has to be Freddy Krueger’s legendary be-knifed glove. Really—in all the annals of horror, no other killer’s weapon of destruction has become ingrained into pop culture status the way that his glove has. Near perfect in it’s design, not only as a murder weapon, but as a fear-inducing tool as well—who doesn’t get shivers when they hear that ear-bleeding sound of metal scraping against metal. And when you’re a kid, probably around 7 or 8, and after just seeing Nightmare on Elm St., who hasn’t taped kitchen knives to your fingers, much to the chagrin of your parents? It’s the perfect weapon of evil.

As a bonus, since you mentioned “death traps”, I’d also like to add that Saw 2’s syringe pit made me feel ill and unease in way no other film has in a long time. Just thinking about it now makes my skin tingle.

Stacie - Final Girl

A general rule of thumb for me is the more ludicrous the weapon, the better- especially if it’s not MEANT to be ludicrous.

One that fills me with glee just to think on it is the football-with-a-sword-attached from the early 80s slasher Graduation Day. That football thrown in a perfect spiral with a big sword poking out was the highlight of that movie.

The same “two great tastes” principal applies to the trombone-with-a-knife-attached in The Town that Dreaded Sundown. The killer in that flick toot-stabbed his way into my heart.

Jason Voorhees made his way onto my list when he punched that guy’s head clean off in Friday the 13th Part VIII and bashed the sleeping bag into the tree in Part VII. He doesn’t need a knife…Jason can get the job done with his fist or a tree. That’s badass.

I like “laser as weapon”- straight from the Silver Shamrock mask to your mouth!- in Halloween III.

And of course, the shish-ka-bob to the mouth in Happy Birthday to Me.

A little ingenuity from these psychos, that’s all I ask for!

Warren - 150 Days of Sodom

I love power drills. Yes, Driller Killer is a favorite of mine. Also, I do like the drill scene in The Gates of Hell, where I believe it is Giovanni Lombardo Radice who gets it from a table-mounted drill press. Even the Slumber Party Massacre series has it’s all right drill moments. The guitar-drill might be a little stupid, but I sure dug it when I was a little younger.

Honorable mention goes to the big industrial circular saw in Jess Franco’s Bloody Moon.

Red Hawk - Happy Horror

My personal favorite horror weapon is the four barrel shotgun used in the Phantasm series. I always liked the look of it, and how Reggie usually used it to take out several of the demonic dwarves in one shot.

Thanks to all the many participants in this week’s Roundtable. You’re all sick. You may have noticed a few new names in there. Please take a browse around and check out their sites.

Re-Sampling of Rob Zombie’s Halloween announced for 2036 release.

South American Nazi film The Boys From Brazil being considered for a remake by Brett Ratner.

Final Girl has posted the latest installement of her film club. The film of choice this time around is The Descent, so if you’ve seen it pop in and leave a comment. And if you haven’t seen it, what force mightier than Final Girl and The Horror Blog combined could possibly convince you?

If quantity should denote quality, pop by tomorrow for the best Horror Roundtable yet.

Rue Morgue magazine has a regular section devoted to strange sites on the internet called Roadkill on the Info Highway. Kind of like a print blog. This month’s selection includes a site called Max and Courtney Make Monsters, in which the titular duo attempt to replicate every experiment in creature design from Dick Smith’s Do-It-Yourself Monster Make-Up book.

It is our plan to go through this book and create every single monster and make-up effect that Smith describes, although perhaps not in the order he indicates. We shall document this, and then we shall make our own little movies.

Each entry contains plenty of pictures and a snappy little film clip. It’s a fun little venture and perfect for the Monster Kid in all of us.

In a recent interview with Ain’t It Cool News’ correspondent Quint, Bryan Singer expressed his interest in not remaking Jaws.

I would never touch JAWS! That’s something that’s too… No, no, no…

Such is the iconic power of Jaws that even mentioning the words “Jaws” and “remake” in the same paragraph has resulted in some passionate responses.

“Don’t do this, Singer. Don’t you dare fuckin’ do this.”

“I still had to post this just because if it ever did happen, I think I would feel obligated to buy a lot of explosives and put as many people on this planet out of their misery as I possibly could.”

“Is Singer the next individual I have to add to the short bus? I mean come on Paul WS Anderson is strapped to the front of the bus and also has a lightening rod shoved up his ass to maybe, MAYBE smarten him up. Now Singer wants to be part of the REMAKE REVOLUTION!! Fucking Hollywood!”

“While you’re offering Jaws might as well have him ruin Citizen Cane (sic), Goodfellas, Godfather, The Exorcist, Back to the future, - Quint, you fucking Goon.”

I think I’ll keep my mouth shut about my plan to not remake The Goonies.

Just when it seemed as if the proprieter of DVD Trash was taking a few weeks off, he comes out swinging with a bevy of Turkish movie clips from Onar Films, from superheroes to Kilink and even giallo! This is exactly the kind of exploitation trash I covet. Cheap sets, brutal action, and hot Turkish women in bikinis.

That Kilink is a fucking badass. He sure gets a lot of play for a guy in a skeleton costume.

Impossivel! In a world of pointless remakes and vapid WB actors, the reemergence of legendary Brazilian director Coffin Joe is an occassion to be celebrated. In a roundabout fashion Twitchfilm has discovered that Jose Mojica Marins aka Coffin Joe will be helming a new film this October.

There is no word whether Marins will be starring in this film or if he is solely present as director but, as Gananian points out this is Marins’ first major project shot on 35 mm film in almost thirty years - his last directorial effort of any sort was in 1987 - and anything that brings a cult legend out of retirement is a good thing.

My recent passion for foreign horror cinema has been tempered by the fact that, outside of Asia, very few countries seem to be creating worthwhile work like they did twenty to thirty years ago. Between this and the upcoming Italian Masters of Horror series, is it possible that we’re on the cusp of a foreign horror renaissance?

Via the always delightful Film Junk comes news of yet another campaign to bring director Fred Dekker’s Night of the Creeps and The Monster Squad to DVD. The person behind the drive to have the movies released has taken a page from Ain’t It Cool News book and created ads detailing where to write the owners of the properties through actual letters as opposed to email.

For the sake of your sanity, I will post the contact info below as the ads themselves are ginormous.

For Monster Squad:

Mr. Sumner M. Redstone
Viacom
1515 Broadway
New York, NY 10036

For Night of the Creeps:

Mr. Michael Lynton
Mr. Bob Osher
Sony Pictures Entertainment
10202 West Washingtopn Blvd.
Culver City, CA 90232

To be honest, I hope that the companies involved eventually lose interest and grant the rights to Anchor Bay, who has been chomping at the bit to get their hands on these movies and would probably do them right.

In other potentially disappointing news, Kevin Smith let slip at Wizard World Chicago that his next project may be a horror movie.

A straightforward “what’s next” led to a game of rock-paper-scissors to determine if Smith would reveal his upcoming project. Although the fan lost the match, Smith said that he would be making a horror film.

I can’t find the source, but rumour has it that this may be a slasher film. The one thing I’m most curious about is whether Smith is going to go for a straight-up spoof, which the world probably doesn’t need, or as Bloody Disgusting is reporting whether he’ll be playing against type and actually attempting to film a regular horror movie.

What’s with all the false rumours making the rounds? First there was the incorrect report stating that George Clooney was set to star in Pet Semetary, and now it’s been confirmed that John Carpenter has not been in talks with Paramount to helm a third “Escape” film. Now you know why I stick with posts on ‘zines and zombie protests as opposed to the Hollywood rumour mill. It makes me kind of glad that I was on vacation and unable to jump on the bandwagon.

I admit, I’m a little disappointed. Plissken is one of my favourite cinematic characters and, despite the likelihood that this wouldn’t fare any better than Escape From L.A., I would love to see Russell squeeze into that stanky leather outfit one last time.

Oh, well. One good thing to have come out of the “Escape” rumour is that Bloody Disgusting has confirmed that Carpenter will be scoring Robert Rodriguez’ portion of Grind House, unless of course that turns out to be false as well.

I first heard about Catacombs a few months ago when I was starting work on The Horror Blog. Featuring pop singer Pink aka Alecia Moore in her first starring role, Catacombs involves two sisters who attend a rave in the catacombs under the streets of Paris. When they eventually wake up the rave is over, the sisters have been seperated, there are over 200 miles of corpse-ridden tunnels to get lost in, and something is stalking them. Bloody Disgusting has a “trailer” up that’s really nothing more than a series of shots from the movie thrown together.

What a great setting for a horror movie. It sounds a little like Creep with a dash of The Descent, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. At the very least I know one person who’s interested aside from myself.