Name one horror film that you would actually like to see remade. Bonus points for naming your dream director for this fantasy remake.

Bill Cunningham - DisContent

There are many folks out there that will take me to task for this, but I would love to see someone remake SCANNERS as a big budget action-horror-spy movie. While I love the original, I always thought that the concept lacked a more visual flair. I would even like to see this as a cable series where all of the implications that were touched upon in the movie were fully explored. I think THE DEAD ZONE does an excellent job in this respect, though I think it sometime lacks the moodiness of the film.

I think Darren Aronofsky would be great for this.

Don May, Jr. - Synapse

Oooh… this is an easy one for me. I’ve always wanted to see a remake of TOMBS OF THE BLIND DEAD directed by Joe Dante. That would be unbelievable!

Billy - House of Irony

The Howling. There hasn’t been a decent werewolf movie in awhile and that movie terrified me as a kid. I would love to see it re-done.

Nick - DVDTrash

Will be shot down in flames for this I’m sure, but I’d like to see Michele Soavi redo “The Beyond” in his own unique style, given a good cast and a decent budget, I reckon he could make something quite spectacular and terrifying. The central theme of The Beyond is fantastic and I’d love to see another (good) directors take on it.

Curt - Groovy Age Of Horror

It’s way too early to be talking about “remaking” this, but if I could send VAN HELSING back to the drawing board, I’d do it in a heartbeat. What a criminally wasted opportunity!! That’s the *best* anyone could do with Universal’s classic monsters on a budget of that size?!?

First I’d want a total rewrite of the script, which sucked ass on every level, from the rationale for bringing the monsters together, all the way to specific lines of dialogue. I’m afraid I don’t have any really bold suggestions for director, but I was a lot more impressed with Len Wiseman’s approach to UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION, which relied much less exclusively on CGI and much more on prosthetics and practical effects, and which also showed a much better feel for staging monster battles. I’m not sure he’d do a brilliant job, but I’m pretty confident he’d do a competent one, which Sommers absolutely failed to do. Whether or not he’d turn in a masterpiece for the ages, at least he’d get it basically right in a way that Sommers got it basically wrong.

Doug Nagy

Hellraiser by Tim Burton

Warren - 150 Days of Sodom

I’d like to see a remake of Fritz Lang’s Metropolis. I know there was an animated one, but I’m talking big budget summer movie. Spielberg, but with the brains he used to make Munich, cause I know a lot of sci-fi is dumb. Maybe no Will Smith (I, Robot, Wild Wild West) in this movie or Tom Cruise, well the list could go on and on.

I guess I’m asking for trouble - today in the video store they were playing the Poseiden Adventure remake. Wow did that look dumb.

With Metropolis I’d like to see a big Hollywood director try to bring class struggle values to the red states. That is always kind of funny.

David Z. - Tomb It May Concern

I think remakes are tough to pick because most really great movies are re-interpolated and ripped more than James Brown’s Funky Drummer beat… but if I had to pick one that might work I’d go with Tombs Of The Blind Dead directed by Guillermo del Toro. He would be respectful of the original I’m sure, and every day that goes by without a new undead Templar rampage is a sad one in my book.

Runner Up: The Wolfman directed by David Cronenberg… how twisted could that be??

Tim - Mondo Schlocko

This is a challenging question. I am not a huge supporter of any remakes or mainstream horror films for that matter.

I a sucker for giant killer animal flicks and I guess I would love to see Joe Dante take on FOOD OF THE GODS. If not that then maybe his version of ATTACK OF THE PUPPET PEOPLE.

Sean T. Collins - Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat

Alright, I’m gonna be perfectly honest with you: Once upon a time, as a film student whose eyes were bigger than his abilities, I wanted to remake The Wicker Man. I loved the film so much that the fact that its more overtly ’70s trappings (the music, mainly, and perhaps Christopher Lee’s mustard turtleneck) threw a lot of people out of the movie. I thought I could find a way to bring the film into the present yet still retain the in-its-own-world aura that made it so special. But hey, this was at the same time that I thought my life’s work would be directing a live-action adaptation of The Lord of the Rings. Judging from the results of both of these film projects, I’m glad (for two very different reasons) that I didn’t get to do either of them.

John Carpenter’s The Thing has always been considered, along with Dawn of the Dead and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, one of those movies which should just be left alone. Considering that the world didn’t come crashing to an end with the release of entertaining yet inferior remakes for those two classics, one could hope the same would be true for The Thing.

Fangoria reports that a prequel to The Thing is in the works by the same people who brought us Dawn of the Dead and Slither. Like most I’m not a big fan of remakes, simply because if I want to watch the same movie twice I can do it without a whole new release, but I’m not as opposed to prequels or sequels as most. A prequel to The Thing is entirely feasible and could centre around the Norwegian expedition that first discovers the alien in the film. It could even end as the two scientists chase the dog over the tundra by helicopter. Not that they’re necessarily going to go in that direction, but it’s an approach that wouldn’t be as offensive as most.

And does anyone else find it just a little ironic that the very means by which John Carpenter’s The Thing was created is vehemently objected by opponents to a new rendition or extension of that film?

In the clip above you will witness the defeat of Carlos Palencia Jimenez-Arguello, critic for Cine Cutre and the first to fall under the punishing blows of director Uwe Boll.

Did anyone honestly believe that any of the pasty-faced critics facing Uwe Boll in the ring had a chance? The man has years of boxing experience over his contenders. Yet it seems that most of the sites talking about this bout are shocked by the results. And here I thought everyone was in on the joke.

Let me introduce a ghost that’s… out of this world. Caspar the Friendly Ghost.

I’ve been digging through a lot of mash-ups the past few days, and unfortunately too many of them are simply slapped together. By far one of my favourites, and most successful, is Music for Maniacs’ Caspar the Friendly Queen. Mr. Fab has concocted a sweet little mash-up composed of the Caspar the Friendly Ghost theme and the instrumental bits of Bohemian Rhapsody, and it seems as if they were always made for one another.

We miss you, Freddie.

Steve Ryfle, author of Japan’s Favorite Mon-Star, was the first North American to write a book centering on the history of Godzilla. With the release this week for the first time on DVD in North America of the original Gojira, CHUD conducted an interview with the author to get his thoughts on over 50 years of The Big G. Here he pretty much nails the appeal.

We watched everything growing up – this was before video when you could get anything at any time. Growing up we watched any monster movie, but what stood out about the Japanese films in particular are their sense of imagination. They take place – especially the films of the late 50s and early 60s – take place in a kind of alternate reality. I always found a lot of the American giant monster movies kind of boring. I would sit there waiting for the monster to show up. They were so dry a lot of the time, and they were so interested in the cause and the relationship between a nuclear explosion or a genetic experiment or whatever it might be, and the monster. My favorite example is The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms, which opened with a nuclear bomb. You see the explosion and you see the monster come out from under the ice – how much more direct can you get?

The Japanese films reinvented the genre in its own image. The films became less and less concerned with that, and had a world where giant monsters just exist. Who wouldn’t want to live in a world like that? I would.

It’s somewhat rare that kaiju films get it right and place you within that world, but it’s certainly worth the wait when they succeed. In a weird way, Godzilla and co. are almost Lovecraftian in nature. There’s a weird mix of fear and fascination that comes with viewing something that not only cannot exist, but cannot be ignored.

Mike Sterling, my mirror universe counterpart, has posted another one of his fine abridged message board debates, this time concerning what would happen if Wolverine attempted to fight Godzilla.

“This is a retarded thread. Against the real Godzilla the entire Xmen roster would be dead. You even knew this when you made the thread, so what was the point?”

Read through to the end of the post. The final comment had me on the floor.

The Scotsman has an interesting little article on indie horror maven Larry Fessenden that swings from his position in the limbo between exploitation and art-house to the acting work he does to finance his films. I was particularly interested in the project Fessenden chose to pitch when he tried to give into The Man.

“I’ve tried to sell out. I’ve had meetings with the Weinsteins. I wanted to make ‘Werewolf by Night,’ a comic I read as a kid and I still covet. But sometimes these executives laugh at me and say, ‘We’ve read your interviews. What are you doing here?’”

That would be one crazy flick.

I wasn’t the only blogger covering the convention over the weekend. The Movie Blog has quite a bit of coverage, including the above clip in which you can watch Horror Roundtable contributor Doug Nagy get hammered by two women with pillows.

X-Entertainment takes a good long look at The Freddy Game.

Being Freddy fucking rules, but it won’t do you any good if you lack the cards to make him stab people. Plus, it isn’t as if the other players are defenseless to Freddy’s inclinations. In fact, it’s just as easy to kill Freddy as it is for him to kill you. Obviously, “The Freddy Game” was based on the last three minutes of every Elm Street flick.

Despite what the person writing the article says, I would love to own this just to have a board game with a player piece that reads “Empty Grave Grandpa.”

Found via The Rue Mortuary.

I attended the Toronto Fan Expo over the weekend and had one of the best shows in my decade of attending the convention. I just got home, I’m already halfway through reading Jack Ketchum’s incredible novel Ladies Night and I have another 8 or 9 DVDs calling out to me. And I missed a day on the blog and I’m feeling a little torn.

One of the bonuses of attempting to post every weekday is that it becomes almost second nature. One of the drawbacks is that when you skip a day it throws you right off your game and you have to take some time to get into gear. Not only that, but all the news and intertesting tidbits I keep up on have grown in size to the point where it’s overwhelming. It would be so easy to just kick back and watch Party at Horror Beach, y’know?

In the meantime, one of the things I did on my trip was get together with a bunch of my friends from the Rose City, including my brothers who were visiting from Vancouver. We spent an evening at Horror Roundtable contributor Doug Nagy’s place, where he recorded his most recent installment of Nagical Radio. Everyone in attendance contributed to his newest feature, Reproduce The Animal Noise. I was off my game. I attempted to pull off the noise the monsters from the Hercules cartoon all seemed to make, but even after years of training I still choked. Still, if you decide to vote for your favourite pterodactyl noise, please consider my rendition.

Name your most memorable convention experience.

Don May, Jr. - Synapse Films

One time, many years ago, I found myself standing in the men’s room urinal next to the great Jim Brown. While doing our business, Mr. Brown let out the loudest, longest, stinkiest fart I’ve ever heard/smelled in my life… I’ve never seemed to be able to shake that memory away…

Billy - House of Irony

Watching my friends rip off their shirts and flex for Lou Ferigno. All the time Lou saying “Where are your muscles, I can’t find your muscles!”

Tim - Mondo Schlocko

One of my best memories was at a Star Trek themed con. I am not a huge Star Trek fan by any means, but the lure of underground DVDs was just enough of a lure to make me want to go.

Once inside there was the usual assortment of Trekkies and what not. Me and my wife purchased some really great flicks and we were just strolling along amongst the dealer tables commenting on how we didn’t really have any interest on meeting anyone from Star Trek let alone pay fifty bucks for their autograph. Suddenly I pass this one table that was dealing in vintage posters and I literally did a doubletake.

Adjacent to the table was a impromptu cardboard sign with the Sharpie scrawled message. “Ed Neal ‘The Hitchhiker’ from THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE”. Then after reading the sign I look over at this tall gangly man and he saysm “yep, it’s me!” I could not believed it. I grabbed my wife and it took her a moment also to realize who was standing at that table.

There he was, Ed Neal, the highly caffine fueled tall son-of-a-gun who long ago asked the question, “do you like headcheese?” He was one of the coolest down to earth guys you could ever meet. He was never mentioned as being a celebrity guest at the con. He was just there to sell posters and sell the a autograph or two. His autographs were also way affordable compared to all of those other sci-fi “stars”. He answered my many filmgeek questions that I had to ask.

That day I met the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Hitchiker and lived the tell the tale and have a autograph to prove it. Without a doubt that was one of the coolest things for me to happen at a con. Especially considering that out here in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Cons are rare commodity.

David Z. - Tomb It May Concern

A very small meeting will always loom large for me. After flying first class to Sweden (and then getting stuck barely able to get OUT of the country) I spent a day with Bo-Arne Vibenius, the director of Thriller:A Cruel Picture in Stockholm. Accompanied by Swedish filmmaker Fred Anderson we were there to license Thriller-and did so. But the best parts of the day were in viewing Thriller with Bo-arne, getting probably the only english language commentary there will ever be, as well as viewing the extraordinary and bizzare follow up film he made, Breaking Point. We had hopped off a plane and gone directly to our meeting, so as exhausted as I was with the time swap and overnight flight it was right into giant bottles of beer, salmon and girls with guns and demented porn viewings-as well as some truly hilarious stories about making banned films in Sweden. We went to the producer of Ninja Mission’s store (and bought a copy!), we tried to find a rest room in the middle of Stockholm (right near where the seedy bits of Thriller were shot) and visited used tape shops galore. Big fun! No matter how disappointed I was with many aspects of that project, that day will remain my finest geeky 72 hours…ever! Ah, and in Stockholm I did note that there were many many beautiful women, and 9 times out of 10 you would want to marry both them… and their mom too!! Ah yes…Sweden rules.

Sean T. Collins - Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat

I’ve never been to a horror con per se, but I’ve got a semi-quasi-horror-related con experience I remember quite fondly: being in the audience for the sneak-preview screening of the pilot episode of Lost at the San Diego Comic-Con in 2003. My wife was with me at the con that year, and we went to the screening with absolutely no expectations–to be blunt, we were there simply because she had a huge crush on Dominic Monaghan, who was in the show and in attendance. But right from that opening sequence’s harrowingly intense plane-crash aftermath and on through the out-of-nowhere monster attack and overall air of mystery, we were well and truly hooked. Once we returned from SDCC, we told everyone who’d listen (and many who wouldn’t) that come the new television season, the one show they had to watch was Lost. To this day I’m thrilled that we were the first people we knew to jump on that particular bandwagon.

Steven - The Horror Blog

Billy has already mentioned the legendary Lou Ferrigno incident, which I have pictures from but can’t seem to find at the moment. It literally stopped half the convention in its tracks, which considering the size of said convention is quite an accomplishment. I’ve gone to the major Toronto Comic/Anime/Sci-Fi/Gaming/Horror geek fest for around a decade now, and each year there’s been at least one incredibly memorable moment. One of my favourites, if one of the least flamboyant or illegal, is when Leary and I met Warwick Davis. We kept the conversation light and brief, determined not to ask what was really on our minds for fear that we wouldn’t like the answer. As we were walking away, Leary spun around and stepped back to the table cutting the next guy in line off, unable to control himself. “When’s the next Leprechaun movie coming out?” Davis flipped. He stepped up on his chair and started raving about Leprechaun In The Hood. “It’s Leprechaun meets Pulp Fiction!” Leary and I began screaming and wailing with joy! A new Leprechaun! Starring Ice-T! As a pimp! The excitement in the room was palpable, or at least it was in our small portion of the floor.