Obviously Not Work Safe! Also Contains Spoilers!

I just know someone out there is going to jack off to this. Today’s clip mixes every on-screen death from the Friday the 13th movies into one big jamboree, with a handy body count in the lower right-hand corner. I never realized just how many people get something sharp stuck through them from below in those movies.

I was looking for the scene with the most ugly example of nakedness in cinema history, but I’m pretty sure it was #105 and they just snipped the ugly nakedness out.

Tomb It May Concern once again kicks my ass when it comes to fun random linkage. How can you possibly compete against someone with such an unnatural love of Zombie Lake?

I wasn’t aware that someone was running a blog-a-thon about vampires. I’m considering joining in, but my aversion to all things vampiric may be a problem. Thanks to My New Plaid Pants for the link.

At this point it really shouldn’t come as any surprise that someone else’s “guilty pleasure” is just a “pleasure” for me. Cinematical takes a look at quite possibly my favourite Cronenberg film, Shivers.

Curt over at Groovy Age of Horror has posted a review of David Wellington’s Monster Nation along with an interview with the author, in which they discuss everything from the parallels the novel shares with real-life events to a love for a good monster.

Twitch Film has decided to do the unthinkable and hold a contest where the end result is destroying two copies of the Baywatch dvd box set. And thus, in 2006, the year of our lord Hasselhoff, the Twitch Film-Horror Blog feud was born.

The latest Mondo Schlocko podcast is up and running with a tribute to blaxploitation superstar Tamara Dobson.

And regardless of the circumstances, best wishes and a speedy recovery for Tim Sullivan and Frankie Levangie.

Scott Weinberg over at Cinematical is in a bit of a huff over the term “Splat Pack”, supposedly used to group together a number of the newest breed of horror directors. I must not read enough mainstream publications, because though Scott has seen the phrase used multiple times, I’m pretty sure this is my first time hearing about it. Some horror blogger I turned out to be.

According to a Time magazine article linked to by the Cinematical post, the Splat Pack is comprised of Rob Zombie, James Wan, Leigh Whannell, Eli Roth, Neil Marshall, and Alexandre Aja. Scott makes his case for why this artificial grouping of filmmakers is idiotic.

The common themes among the Splat Packers are … what? They all like horror movies, they don’t shy away from intense chills, harsh themes or copious gore, and they’re all carbon-based life forms, I guess. But really: Does anyone out there think the work of Eli Roth is even remotely similar to that of Neil Marshall? Does a Rob Zombie flick remind you of what was seen in, say, High Tension? I mean, if you’re going to define a term, then define it. And as a big fan of just about all these movies, I just gotta scratch my head when I hear these guys lumped together in one basket.

Maybe I’m just inured to the ways of the media, but I can’t say that I’m all that upset over this. Unlike most people who have commented on this moniker, I can see a reason why there is an attempt to group some of the latest horror filmmakers together. The people who comprise “The Splat Pack” are, at least for now, directors who have not only had a fair amount of commerical success (and some critical) for their work, but seem to be happy to continue plying their trade within the genre in spite of this success. When was the last time a group of horror filmmakers emerged that had that level of committment, or the skill or luck to continue making theatrical films without getting sidetracked?

The Horror Blog’s Southern Ontario correspondent VoodooJax has filed a report on the zombie walk that took place this past Sunday in Toronto. Click on the images below for a better look.

And for nearly a thousand photos from the event, check out the Toronto Zombie Walk Flickr contributions.

Cabin Fever was a film that I wanted to like but ended up disappointed with after watching it in the theatre. Since then I’ve tried it again on DVD, and I was able to ignore those things that turned me off the first time and enjoy the ride. In the span of two days I gobbled down every special feature on the disc, including the four commentary tracks. Now they may be making a return trip to the Cabin, but with or without Roth?

Movie Hole confides that Cabin Fever 2 is supposed to start filming in January, with Robert Harris reprising his role as Old Man Caldwell. However, they neglect to mention that last year Roth decided to bow out due to creative differences, leaving the proposed sequel up to others to write and direct.

I have a very full plate with HOSTEL and numerous other projects so I’m not involved with CABIN FEVER 2. My concept for the sequel was a SONG OF THE SOUTH-style half-animated film where Deputy Winston sings songs (ones I was forced to learn in Hebrew school) to imaginary creatures in his head, and has sex with the burned, rotted corpses of everyone who died in the original, but they didn’t go for it. Go figure. However, my CABIN FEVER co-writer Randy Pearlstein had a KICK ASS idea for the sequel, and I believe they are going to shoot that draft, so I want nothing more than for it to be a great film. I told them all it should be better than the first one, and with Randy’s script, if they get the right director that’s a real possibility. But I was never considering directing the sequel unless it was an animated musical about a corpse-raping deputy, and even I recognize that’s probably not the most accessible idea.

Fuck, I would love to see that movie.

Quote courtesy of Creature Corner. Link courtesy of I Spit On Your Movie and FilmStalker.

Horror directors Adam Green and Ryan Schifrin have collaborated on a special Halloween treat, a short film entitled King In The Box, which takes a harsh look at the sordid world of fast-food franchise mascots and what they’ll do to get ahead. It wasn’t even a question of whether The King was going to end up murdering someone, it was only a matter of when.

Via Bloody Disgusting, though the more reliable You Tube link was brought to you by Cinematical, which is rocking the face off of Halloween this year. Go check them out.

Looks like I’m not the only one crafting polls and monster rallies this season. AMC, in a promotion for the tenth anniversary of MonsterFest, have conducted a very classy survey asking horror fans to name the celebrity they would most want to see dead. Paris Hilton topped the poll with a whopping 39%, with Lindsay Lohan at 18% and Simon Cowell coming up third with 17%.

AMC also moved into monster rally territory with a poll on death matches. The highest ranking duel was The View’s Elisabeth Hasselbeck vs. Rosie O`Donnell at 23%, shutting out Freddy Krueger vs. Michael Myers at 21% and Heather Locklear vs. Denise Richards at 19%. One of these things is not like the others…

I was going to ask who you guys thought should take the top spot, but to be honest, the whole thing gives me the heebie-jeebies.

“This may be the finest hour of television NBC has ever produced . . . with skeletons.”

According to NBC, the Oct. 31st broadcast of Late Night with Conan O’Brien will be shot in Skelevision, a process in which everyone will be represented by a skeleton.

The show is a complete re-creation of an episode of “Late Night” from May 2006. From the monologue, to the comedy sketches and guests, no living humans will be featured in the show – just skeletons. Guests on the episode are Larry King, actor Omar Epps (”House”) and actress and pole-dancing workout instructor Sheila Kelley (complete with demonstration).

You had me at pole-dancing skeleton. I haven’t watched a late-night talk show in years. I guess their gimmick is going to work on at least one person. To see the complete picture, including Larry King as a skeleton, click the image above.

For a movie which I knew almost nothing about, I’m suddenly receiving an awful lot of information about The Return. A supernatural thriller that, while made in North America, seems to have it’s share of stylistic similarities to Japanese ghost stories, The Return stars Sarah Michelle Gellar as a woman guided by murdered spirits trying to find the killer. Today Yahoo Movies posted a number of clips, as well as the trailer, and it seemed as if Rogue Pictures was finally pumping out the advertisments in time for the film’s November 10th release date.

But wait. According to Arrow in the Head (via The Movie Blog), The Return is moving to January 19th.

As most film fanatics know, the early months of the year as usually reserved for studios dumping projects that they really don’t have much faith in (BLOODRAYNE, BIG MOMMA’S HOUSE 2, WHEN A STRANGER CALLS, and so on).

Odd considering the clips they just posted. That and both the Yahoo site and the official site still have Nov. 10th as the release date. Maybe it isn’t as bad a situation as they’re making it out to be. After all, Hostel opened in January and it did very well.

Bloody Disgusting has posted a couple of clips from Tobe Hooper’s installment for the second season of Masters of Horror.

An unknown monstrous force descends upon a small Texas town, turning husband against wife, brother against sister, parent against child. Tortured by his own tragic past, Sheriff Kevin Reddle must overcome his horrific rage if he is to restore order.

I know Hooper’s been more miss than hit for over a decade now, but I’m a sucker for anything that results in large groups of people losing their shit and turning on one another. Anyone else remember Impulse?

The site this was originally showcased on has since taken it down, whether because the public wasn’t supposed to see it yet or because of excessive demand, i don’t know. Anyway, as you will see this Day of the Dead is about as far away from an actual remake as it’s possible to get while still retaining zombies. The acting is beyond horrible, it looks like it was shot on video and the zombies not only sprint, they’re so hopped up on goofballs that they run up walls. But, just as I was ready to turn it off midway, I became interested again. These aren’t just zombies, these are zombies with a fierce hatred of windows. It’s the night of the defenestrating dead! I counted something like 9.5 zombie/window incidents, and that’s in the trailer alone. Colour me excited!

“If it’s your cup of tea, drink it!”

Most mainstream actors who dip their toe in the horror genre seem to accept the job as a necessary evil, to be filmed quickly and forgotten even more quickly. Not so Phyllis Kirk, perhaps the most reluctant scream queen to ever grace the silver screen. A contract player with Warner Brothers, the outspoken Ms. Kirk was dragged kicking and screaming into the 1953 3-D production of House of Wax where she exceled as the damsel in distress. She never appeared in another horror film again, though she did make an appearance in The Twilight Zone. Ms. Kirk passed away Friday of an aneurysm.

The Astounding B-Monster has what is probably my new favourite interview, where Phyllis Kirk looks back on her fight to stay out of House of Wax, her acceptance of its virtues (if not the fame that came with it), Vincent Price, excessive discussion about her bosom (or lack thereof) and the use of the phrase “Tough titty”. Man, they just don’t make them like that anymore.

Rest in peace, Ms. Kirk.

Final Girl keeps rocking out the Schocktober with a glowing review of the House of Wax remake, which I also enjoyed, surprisingly.

The proprieter of the Sleepaway Camp fansite has filmed his own slasher flick, called Grandma’s Sloppy Seconds, with a few very special guests co-starring.

Camp Blood needs lesbians (scroll down to the bottom of the 10/20 entry).

The director of the direct-to-DVD gem Dead End has apparently made a black comedy called Big Nothing, starring David Schwimmer and an americanized Simon Pegg. While I wasn’t enamored with the plotting of Dead End, the dialogue was fantastic, and the whole thing made me feel tense in a way that most horror movies don’t even try to accomplish, so I’m willing to give this a shot.

It’s all about me today. One of my pals from my deviant comics blogging past, Teresa of In Sequence, spills the beans on an upcoming event here on The Horror Blog over at the Beppepodcast. Listen here for a sneak peek.

The winners from the Fangoria Chainsaw awards have been announced. Meh.

Dimension Films gets dirty with The Boathouse, a “a scary film that explores sexual seduction in a way that the genre rarely braves to do.” If anyone from Dimension wants to contact me in regards to directing the sequel, The Bathhouse, my email address is steven@thehorrorblog.com.

A few days ago My New Plaid Pants posted a link to an MP3 of Fiona Apple covering Sally’s Song from A Nightmare Before Christmas. Supposedly this is a 2-disc set was produced to coincide with the 3-D rerelease of the film, with the first disc being comprised of the original soundtrack and the second including five covers from various bands and assorted demos by Danny Elfman. Another track that’s popped up early is Marilyn Manson’s version of This Is Halloween, available at Deaf Indie Elephants.

“We’re partners aren’t we? Let’s work together…”

Some infantile genius has taken apart dialogue from the Resident Evil games and pieced them back together as porno. Doors opening and closing as people accidentally stumble into sticky situations, the moans of the dead substituting for carnal grunts, and gunfire as orgasms.

Sometimes I wonder what my neighbours must think of me.