Admit it, the news about Faulkner’s vampires has you pumped for even more terror from the pens of history’s most esteemed authors. Who wouldn’t want to see William Shakespeare’s Invaders from Mars or John Milton’s Chucky? Well, you’re in luck, as Carlos Maycotte of the Cornell Daily Sun has made the astonishing discovery of a plethora of horror titles by those authors and more, including Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Jason Vorhees.

Saturday morning was come, and all the summer world was bright and fresh, and brimming with life. There was a song in every heart; and if the heart was young the music issued at the lips. There was cheer in every face and a spring in every step. Jason himself was especially full of mirth. As he put Becky and Jim on a raft, they asked him whether they would be playing the part of the pirates or the commodores. With a grunt, Jason pushed the raft out on the river and set it on fire. And smiled a smile nobody could see.

It’s a natural progression from the current trend of “torture porn” to vivid interpretations of modern movie monsters by the world’s greatest writers. You’re looking at the next big thing in the genre, kids.

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