Setting Zombies on Fire: Decent Strategy or Horrible Mistake? Discuss.

Kimberly - Cinebeats

I think it’s a good strategy. Once they turn to bloody mush and ashes it is less likely that they’ll be able to come after you. Just make sure that you have an escape route planned out before you set them on fire. If they’re fast moving zombies it could take them awhile to burn up and melt so they may continue to come after you at full speed and spread fire everywhere.

Curt - Beyond The Groovy Age of Horror

Depends on whether they’re close enough to grab you!

Don May, Jr. - Synapse

I think it’s a horrible mistake because all they do is flop around and spread the fire. You risk burning up YOURSELF and your surroundings. Not to mention the burning flesh stinks!

A good shot right to the head is the cleanest way to dispatch a zombie.

T Van - Tolerated Vandalism

Setting zombies on fire is a decent strategy. In fact, it’s a brilliant strategy. If you can get your hands on a flame thrower, torch the fuckers. You have a better shot at eliminating more of these brain eating nutjobs with fire than you do with bullets. Shoot them in the head? That’s a good strategy if you’re a good marksmen. Even a monkey could operate a flame thrower [assuming you can find a monkey who owns a flame thrower]. I believe there is a good example of setting zombies on fire in the remake of Dawn of the Dead. They use propane instead of a flame thrower though. At least Hank Hill would be proud.

Red Hawk - Happy Horror

That would probably depend on the situation you’re in. If you have no danger of being grabbed by an animated torch with teeth, then it’s probably a great idea. If you’re in a tight corner, with no hope of getting out, or in a nature area, you should probably stick to head trauma.

Rony

Setting a zombie on fire is one of the dumbest things you can do. It’s the biggest rookie mistake out there along side of shooting them in the body. A regular zombie is bad enough but setting a zombie ablaze is like creating a super zombie because now everything it touches is gonna get torched. The only proper way to set zombies on fire would be to use Napalm and completely vaporize the damned things. So all in all ZOMBIE + FIRE = RUN AWAY!!!!

Nathan - MicroHorror

Both the value and the danger of fire have been long known to humanity, arguably since before we became human in the first place. Once we learned how to harness this force, we quickly began using it for diverse purposes including illuminating our surroundings, cooking our food, warming our homes… and, yes, as a weapon. Now that we find ourselves in the twenty-first century and in perpetual peril of the walking dead, let us review the best strategies for using fire offensively and defensively against these rotting monstrosities.

First, take a close look at your surroundings. How flammable are the contents of the area, and how capable are you of controlling a fire? Start fires only in open areas with no flammable or explosive items. The last thing you want is to be trapped in a burning building with the walking dead outside. Remember also that some creatures are insensate, and so may continue to approach despite being on fire, which will effectively bring the fire to you.

Second, determine the nature of the enemy. Determine whether the creatures are sentient, or if they are propelled only by instinct. Do they have a sense of self-preservation? If so, a stationary bonfire may repel them. If not, they may walk blindly into the flames, which can be desirable, but could also result in their continuing to approach while burning, as mentioned earlier. Creatures with high relative degrees of intelligence may be able to avoid the fire, or worse extinguish it.

Third, learning what caused the dead to rise will also give you useful information when determining the advisability of fire. If the creatures are animated by voodoo or similar necromantic magic, fire will likely be of use. Cases of animation caused by a virus or other microorganism are also good targets for fire-based warfare, as the heat will most likely destroy the organism. Most forms of radiation can, for all intents and purposes, be treated as magic. Use extreme caution, however, in cases of chemical animation. The burning of corpses animated by certain reanimating chemicals, notably 2-4-5 trioxin, has been known to result in contamination of the local atmosphere. The chemical can then be redistributed by rain, resulting in further animation.

In summation, fire can be a very effective weapon against the walking dead under certain circumstances, but if uncontrolled can do more harm than good. Always practice proper fire safety, and keep matches and lighters out of the reach of children.

Billy

ZOMG something I can actually discuss.

This is an extremely important discussion because we all know that the zombie disease IS gonna come. I’m sure I can find some crazy conspiracy theorist who has evidence to back me up, but until then you just have to trust me. Fire is a situational thing when it comes to zombies. You have to judge how far away from flammable materials and how valuable these things are to you. If the zombies are attacking you in your house, bad idea. If they’re attacking you in the middle of a street then flame on!

Molotov cocktails are as “low tech” as you want to get. Getting within arms reach with a torch will only earn you a Darwin Award. If you can somehow get your hands on a flame thrower you’ll want to save your resources for emergencies. Assuming the zombie-geddon comes we can assume that flame thrower factories won’t be pumping out more ammunition for awhile. So wait till you lure a bunch of zombies into a zombie trap and then toss some napalm justice on their asses.

Still, your two best sources of de-zombification are machetes and shotguns, and some close friends who will keep your back safe!

Eric - Bloody Good Horror

Hmm… seems like a bad idea to me. Follow me on this one. You set zombies on fire, you run into your house, and inevitably they will shamble up to your doorway to investigate what has happened to their meal. Now, your house is on fire. I will give you that there would be a certain comedic value, as there usually is, to watching the Zombie’s trying to figure out what the hell is going on, but it just doesn’t seem like anything good could possibly come of it.

Jeff O’Brien

I don’t see why they would even notice. They keep going without eyes so they don’t need to see. They feel no pain so who cares. They don’t breathe so they don’t need to worry about seared lungs. What earthly good does it do? And what if someone dies by burning in the middle of a zombie plague, do they not come back?

Casey Criswell - Cinema Fromage

Really, it all depends on the type of zombie we’re dealing with and your current surroundings. If we’re dealing with the slow lumbering zombies in an outdoor setting, setting fire to the biters is a safe enough strategy, however you do not get the instant stoppage that you may get with a gun or blunt object. As long as you are prepared for a rambling, stumbling ball of fire, you should be in good shape. Remember, chances are they will set fire to something else inadvertently. If you are indoors, fire becomes an unsafe option. The destruction to the brain will take to long to set in and chances of them setting fire to the walls around you are high, possibly trapping you in the ensuing inferno.

If we are dealing with the ‘running zombie’, the use of fire becomes a moot point. Running zombies chasing you across a field is bad enough, but when it becomes a biting ball of flame? The danger becomes two fold and really, why bring that upon your self.

In the end, if you are up for some sport and are in an open area with plenty of exit routes, fire adds spice to the hunt. If you are fleeing for your life or stuck indoors, stick to the firepower instead.

Kevin

Incinerated: Good. Flaming: Bad. As you explained to me long ago, a flaming zombie is infinitely more dangerous, especially when considering things like property damage.

Douse those flaming zombies, soldier!

Louis - Damaged 2.0

I have always thought that setting zombies on fire is the stupidest thing a horror character can do, besides trying to escape from a third floor window. Zombies are bad enough as they charge you, just wanting to bite you. Add some flames to that equation and, when they attack you, they’ll set you on fire, so all you’re doing, like a Goddamn dumbass, is cooking their dinner for them.

Probably a better weapon would be a high-powered water-hose. At least if you get enough pressure behind a blast you could knock off the hears of the more rotted and brittle ones.

The debate rages in the comments below. Let your voice be heard! Thanks once again to all the contributors to this week’s roundtable. Make sure you check out their sites for even more horror excitement. What else do you have planned for the long weekend?

Recommend another foreign horror movie.

Paul Corupe - Canuxploitation

Netherlands

I’m going to go with Dick Maas’ moderately effective stab at elevator horror, The Lift, a curiosuly unseen Dutch effort. I first spotted it for sale in a used video store, and I couldn’t resist the amazing tagline: “Take the stairs…take the stairs! For God’s sake, take the Stairs!!!” In the film, an elevator repair man investigates a malfunctioning lift that is killing people. It’s a nice mix of campily decadent 80s horror (a debauched executive having an affair in the elevator) with occasional shocks and surprises (a blind man falls down the shaft thinking the elevator car is there!) and even a sprinkle of social commentary, when it’s revealed that an American manufacturer may be to blame. It was remade by Maas himself almost a decade later in Hollywood as The Shaft.

Jeff O’Brien

Ireland

Dead Meat.

Sean T. Collins - Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat

New Zealand

I’m recommending an obscure series of films from New Zealand called The Lord of the Rings. No, for real! You don’t have to look any further than The Wizard of Oz’s flying monkeys to see how influential horror in non-horror films can be, and seen in that light this epic from horror veteran Peter Jackson is tough to top. The orcs, the Ringwraiths, the Uruk-Hai, Bilbo’s Ring-driven freak-out, the Watcher in the Water, the cave troll, the Balrog, Gollum, the Dead Marshes, the fell beasts, the Eye of Sauron, the wargs, the Paths of the Dead, Minas Morgul, Shelob’s lair, Shelob herself, Aragorn’s dream, the Mouth of Sauron…top-flight horror images one and all. I eagerly await the grown-up fruits of the childhood nightmares they’ve inspired.

Nathan - MicroHorror

The United Kingdom

The United Kingdom, in recent years, has blessed us with some truly great and original horror films. “28 Days Later” and “Shaun of the Dead” will be influencing zombie movies for years to come, and “Dog Soldiers” was pretty much a perfect werewolf film. You don’t need me to tell you how good those movies are, nor do you need to listen to me go on about the classic Hammer horror oeuvre. Instead, I’ll tell you about a movie which may not be so perfect and timeless, but which is near and dear to my heart: 1972’s “Tales from the Crypt.”

Amicus Productions was, and remains, best known for its anthology horror films, which include 1965’s “Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors” and 1970’s “The House That Dripped Blood.” As Amicus was already in the habit of producing movies consisting of several short stories all wrapped up together, it should come as no surprise that the studio turned to the comics of Bill Gaines and Al Feldstein for inspiration.

“Tales from the Crypt” contains five stories adapted from EC’s horror comics, plus a framing story. Ironically, only two of those stories were actually published in the comic “Tales from the Crypt.” The other three came from EC’s other horror titles, “The Vault of Horror” and “The Haunt of Fear.” The five segments are “…And All Through the House,” a cheerful tale of Christmas murder; “Reflection of Death,” a meditation on the aftermath of a fatal car accident; “Poetic Justice,” a satisfying story of revenge; “Wish You Were Here,” a loose adaptation of “The Monkey’s Paw”; and “Blind Alleys,” a cautionary tale about the abuse of power.

“Tales from the Crypt,” admittedly, seems a little dated these days, and the HBO series spearheaded by Robert Zemeckis really is the definitive collection of EC adaptations, but it’s still chock full of delightfully grim humor and dry wit, as the oh-so-American shock stories of EC get filtered through the very British sensibilities of Amicus. Enjoy.

After far too long a wait, “Tales from the Crypt” will finally be released on DVD on September 11, 2007, in a double pack with Amicus’s 1973 follow-up “The Vault of Horror.”

Thanks to Jeff and Paul (and Sean and Nathan) for taking one for the team. You wouldn’t think there’d be a silver lining to having so few submissions, but it’s kind of nice to be able to thank contributors individually.

I’m off to the Festival of Fear tomorrow, where I hope I can meet a few Roundtable members and maybe buy that poster from Humoungous I saw last year. Have a nice weekend!

I don’t doubt that many of the regular readers of the Horror Roundtable skip over my closing remarks, but if you do you may have missed some news. The next Roundtable will be our first two-parter, continuing our quest to catalogue as many cool, diverse foreign horror movies as possible. The twist is that for the first time the Roundtable is open to all readers. So if you’ve ever had a hankering to join in, read the rules below and join the discussion.

Send the names of two countries, your primary and secondary choices, to steven@thehorrorblog.com. I will let you know which of your choices is still available. The following conditions apply.

1) You cannot choose a movie from your country of origin.

2) You cannot choose a movie from a country that someone else has already chosen.

Countries not yet chosen include Brazil, India, the United States, South Africa, Turkey, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and many more.

There were any number of shows premiering last year that I was anticipating, from Jericho to Heroes to Primeval, but Dexter flew under my radar. For the most part fiction about serial killers leave me cold, and I wasn’t expecting an ongoing show about a murderer that only kills other murderers to really do anything for me. I’m glad I took the chance, because Dexter is fantastic, and was definitely the hightlight of last year’s schedule.

The main reason for my fascination was the take Michael C. Hall took with the title character. Most of the people I know who watched it and enjoyed it walked away with the impression that Dexter was an affable character. I had a completely different impression. Dexter’s sense of morality isn’t something that comes from within him, but was rather imprinted on him through years of training. He only differentiates between murderers and the innocent because those options were spoonfed to him from an early age and it appeals to his sense of order. Without those external restrictions anyone would do. When faced with a situation that falls outside of the parameters that have been grafted on him Dexter either chooses the reaction closest to that which he’s been trained, or, when that option isn’t open to him, begins to break down, like a machine. It’s in watching this absolutely unique specimen of humanity try to relate to normal human interaction that makes Dexter so engaging.

If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend watching the first season before heading into the second, otherwise your enjoyment will be greatly diminished. As it happens, the first season just hit shelves today.

Thanks to Showtime for passing the poster along.

I’m giving away one copy of the soundtrack for Rob Zombie’s Halloween, featuring KISS and Alice Fucking Cooper, provided by the fine folks at Deep Focus. To win, simply name the Halloween films that correspond with the masks shown above. Answers should be left in the comments. The first person to name them all correctly, or the person with the most correct answers by next Monday, gets the soundtrack. Good Luck! Halloween hits theatres August 31st.

Recommend a foreign horror movie.

Eric - Bloody Good Horror

Italy

There’s been so much great stuff from Italy that it’s kind of hard to choose, but I thought I would pick one that maybe not everyone has seen. “The New York Ripper” from Lucio Fulci is one of those that a lot of people are aware of, but not everyone has had the chance to check out.

History has been kind to Fulci, especially in America, but most people forget that he was looked at as a pariah in his native Italy for most of his life. Not sure if you know, but Jesus is HUGE over there :) Understandably, the country that plays host to the Pope wasn’t exactly enamored with his brand of sick sexualized violence.

And as far as that goes, “The New York Ripper” is one of his most twisted films. It’s a take on the Italian Giallo that Argento made so famous, but with Fulci’s own twisted sensibilities. It’s got it all, red herrings, floating hands, and some of the nastiest violence ever put to celluloid. He takes great pains to let his camera linger as the killer literally tears the flesh of his victims asunder with his knife. There’s also this awful ripping sound that he insists on using over and over. There are also a lot of sexual undertones (and overtones) to the film that cause the violence to be even more uncomfortable to watch.

So if you’re looking for some twisted Italian cinema, it’s hard to not like “The New York Ripper.” It may not be the best the country has to offer, but I certainly consider it a hidden gem.

Don May, Jr. - Synapse

Spain

Well, one of my all-time fav horror films is the Spanish classic TOMBS OF THE BLIND DEAD from Amando De Ossorio. I love this movie so much… what a great concept for a zombie film.

Jeff O’Brien

South Korea.

Phone - GREAT film!

Nathan - MicroHorror

Germany

When described in certain carefully picked terms, “Anatomie” (2000) can be made to sound downright dull. After all, it’s a slasher movie. A lot of good-looking young people get gruesomely murdered by a mysterious killer. It’s very much in-genre, and could even be called formulaic in the debt it owes to “Scream” and the rest of the ’90s-’00s neo-slasher movement. But for all the weaknesses in its origins, “Anatomie” succeeds where it counts: in the execution.

You see, “Anatomie” is smart. Very smart. The writers are smart, and all the characters are smart. The characters have to be smart, because they’re all students at Heidelberg, the most prestigious medical school in Germany. Our heroine, Paula Henning (played by no less an actress than Franka Potente of “Run Lola Run”), qualified for admission by getting the second-highest entrance exam score in the entire country. Clearly we’re not dealing with the typical clueless teens here.

The premises just keep getting better. What Paula discovers at Heidelberg is nothing less than a conspiracy dating back centuries. It seems that, for hundreds of years, a secret society of doctors has rejected the Hippocratic Oath, and specifically the principal rule, “First do no harm.” Sometimes curing an individual patient just isn’t the best thing to do, not when he or she would be more valuable to the science of medicine as a specimen for study. Kidnapping? Murder? Torture? It’s all good if it’s in the name of science. The writers even tie this in with the “experiments” of Josef Mengele, a remarkably bold step for a German horror movie.

I won’t spoil any more specific plot points, but suffice it to say that “Anatomie” gives you a full dose of sadistic psychopaths, plot twists and gruesome special effects. It’s an American-style slasher film through and through, but with much more intelligence than Hollywood thinks horror fans can handle. I think you’ll enjoy it.

(Note: It has come to my attention that a sequel, “Anatomie 2″ has been released. I have not seen it, but all reports indicate that it is abominable. Consider yourself warned.)

Red Hawk - Happy Horror

Japan

After being notified that I was okay to recommend a Japanese movie, I had one major task… figuring out which one. I wanted to stay away from some of the more mainstream movies, like Ringu or Ju-On… as good as they are, anybody can recommend those, and I wanted to go with something a little different. After giving it alot of thought, I decided to recommend 1999’s Shikoku. Starring Kill Bill’s Chiaki Kuriyama, the movie’s about a young woman who goes back to the island of Shikoku where she grew up to reunite with her two friends, only to discover that one of them has died. Coinciding with her return is increased occurences of people seeing the spirits of their departed loved ones. Looking into things, she finds that her deceased friend’s mother has started traveling a traditional pilgrimage through the Shikoku shrines backwards, hoping to open the gates to the land of the dead to bring her daughter back.

I picked this movie not only because it’s a good thriller, but also because of the cultural content to it. Not only does it look at the spiritual side of the Japanese, but also features an actual ritual: the Shikoku 88-temple pilgrimage said to be originated by a Buddhist monk. The pilgrimage still exists today, of course, though most people undertaking it will take modern transportation, rather than the traditional walk (which would take between 30 and 60 days).

Sean T. Collins - Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat

Canada

I recommend David Cronenberg’s Shivers. If you’re reading this you probably come from good horror stock and are already familiar with it, but just in case, imagine 28 Days Later with the blood-transmitted virus replaced with parasitic slugs, “rage” replaced with “lust,” the U.K. replaced with Canada, and Alex Garland replaced with J.G. Ballard. And the unbelievably gorgeous Lynn Lowry delivers one of the hottest monologues in movie history just before barfing up a slug and getting punched in the face. It’s probably my favorite Cronenberg.

Tim - Mondo Schlocko

Mexico

Mexico is my pick because of the 1973 flick EL CASTILLO DE LAS MOMIAS DE GUANAJUATO. Like Turkish movies, I have no idea what is being said or anything else plotwise. Alls I knows is that it has three luchadores, dwarves, a cult, fake cardboard “stone” walls, and hulking mummies in suits.

I just love the style of it and the energy behind it. It sorta reminds me of the indie backyard flicks that I dig so much.

Kimberly - Cinebeats

France

France isn’t the first country that comes to mind when most people think about modern horror films, but that country has been releasing a steady stream of impressive thrillers in recent years that really deserve more attention and are often much more creative than anything being produced in the U.S. lately. One of my current favorite French directors is Gaspar Noe, but critics often refuse to call his films “horror.” He’s most well known in the U.S. for his disturbing revenge film Irreversible that shocked critics and left audiences reeling, but before he made Irreversible, Noe created another film that is just as disturbing and that was I Stand Alone (1998). I Stand Alone follows the troubled life of one of French cinema’s most nasty and unforgettable characters known only as The Butcher. The film mixes elements of Taxi Driver and Henry Portrait of a Serial, but it has an urgency and darkness that I think will surprise some of the most jaded horror fans. The kind of horrors that director Gaspar Noe conjures up are based in reality and can be hard to watch, but I Stand Alone is well worth the effort. Vive La France!

Dave - Rue Morgue’s The Abbatoir

Australia

Cars That Ate Paris – I discovered this one last year when I rented it on a whim from a local video store. I’d seen it around for years, but, like most horror fans, assumed it was a campy killer car flick, due to that title and the spiky VW bug on the cover. It’s not like that at all, though. It’s the debut feature from Peter Weir (Picnic at Hanging Rock, The Last Wave, Master and Commander: Far Side of the World) and it’s one of the most wonderfully weird movies I’ve ever seen, especially if you don’t know anything about it going in.

Basically (and sort-of), it’s about milquetoast of a man who gets stranded is this nutzoid tiny town that’s up to all kinds of no good, and also has a problem with their youth, who turn their cars into strange Mad Max-style vehicles and tear up the place. And the place in question is Paris, hence the title, which Weir imbues with an off-kilter atmosphere that reminded me of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre – but is also very Australian.

The setting and characters of this movie are so unique and the plot so unconventional, it’s clearly the work of a major film talent-in-the-making. I love when filmmakers create entire worlds, spit on convention and still keep you entertained, despite obvious budgetary restraints. In other words, it still really is an undiscovered gem amongst North American genre fans. It’s a great one to spring on open-minded friends who need to have their opinion of Australian permanently scarred by some kick-ass cinematic dementia.

Bill Cunningham - DisContent

The Philippines

My movie choice is a film from the proud land known for its outrageous cinema - The Philippines!

Now when I say “outrageous cinema” let me put this in context. The Philippines is long known for its romances, its action and its jungle pictures. What it is not known for (and should be) are its horror pictures, which unlike many countries also contain elements of action, romance, and yes - the jungle. Nothing exemplifies the twisted hybrid of jungle, action, romance and horror like the frenetic movie ZUMA.
Zuma is the tale of a man who is the son of a snake god and is imprisoned in a pyramid in the middle of the filippino jungle. When archeologists open the tomb, they unleash Zuma - a green skinned man with two live snakes growing out of his shoulders. Zuma slaughters the archeologists and escapes into the jungle only to find a couple camping. He kills the man (giving his snakes a workout) and rapes the woman making her his slave.

They try to escape the authorities (Zuma wears a trenchcoat and straw hat), but Zuma is captured and the now-pregnant woman is put in prison. This occurs only after the bodies have piled higher than cordwood for winter.

I won’t spoil the rest for you other than to say there’s a daughter involved and Zuma has a sequel: Anak ni Zuma.

Note, Zuma is the big green guy in the center of all these filippino comics characters… and no, he’s not a hero.

A profile of the character is here.

Thanks to all this week’s contributors for taking us on a trip around the world! For next week’s Roundtable I thought I’d try something a little different. The theme of foreign Horror will continue, but this time I’ll be accepting contributions from anyone interested in participating. The following rules apply.

Send the names of two countries, your primary and secondary choices, to steven@thehorrorblog.com. I will let you know which of your choices is still available and from there you can write your recommendation to be included in next week’s Roundtable. To start you off, countries not mentioned in this week’s Roundtable include New Zealand, Brazil, India, the United Kingdoms, Ireland, South Africa, Turkey, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and many more. Have fun!

Since I moved back to Southern Ontario I’ve been bragging about all the excellent horror and cult film events that I’m once again able to partake in. From Trash Palace to Toronto After Dark to the upcoming Festival of Fear and everything in-between, I’m spoiled for choice. One event that I haven’t mentioned yet which everyone keeps reminding me of is the Toronto International Film Festival Midnight Madness programming. With the debuts of Diary of the Dead, Mother Of All Tears and Sukiyaki Western Django you’d think I would have brought it up already. The truth is, I’m hesitant to go.

I’ve heard things.

I’m one of those people who bristles at the idea that genre films should be shown seperately from other, supposedly classier fare. I felt that it was unfair that Midnight Madness was segregated from the main event. As it turns out, it’s the regular festival that’s kept out of the Midnight Madness portion, for its own safety. Rumour has it that random, private screenings at Midnight Madness devolve into a cross between 42nd Street and Caligula. Even before the curtains go up you’ll find ushers pissing on the first three rows, and certain well-connected patrons of the Arts pay top dollar for the opportunity to watch. After everyone is seated, toting their gift bags full of lube and heroin, the debauchery truly begins. A Black Mass is staged down front. Prostitutes imported from Copenhagen flaggelate celebrities. The entire theatre becomes a whirlpool of sticky flesh and cigarette butts, and at its centre is Colin Geddes, born with eyes like dying embers and a 14-inch cock trapped in a rusty cage. His Satanic laughter echoes throughout the theatre, spurring the participants on to greater depths of depravity until the screen is covered with so much blood and semen that it’s almost impossible to make out the film. Almost.

And don’t even get me started about the after parties.

So, yeah, I’m going this year. They’re finally sucking me in with films like Frontière(s) and Stuck. Say a prayer for me.

Name your favourite creepy tale for around the campfire.

Nathan - MicroHorror

I love the old classics. Give me a story with a brutal murder and a narrow escape, and I’ll be a happy man (as well as one inclined to sleep with the light on).

The dead, dangling boyfriend’s fingernails scratching on the roof of the RV.
The friend with the axe in her back, rattling the doorknob, trying to get back inside before she bleeds to death.
Written in blood, next to the dead dog: “HUMANS CAN LICK TOO.”
And, of course, the greatest of all, with no further explanation needed: “AREN’T YOU GLAD YOU DIDN’T TURN ON THE LIGHT?”

Ah, the lone survivor, the unsung hero of horror. There always has to be one left to tell the tale.

Eric - Bloody Good Horror

Where I live in the North East there’s a lot of rural area and mountains close by, so naturally these places kind of lend themselves to legends. While staying at my friends camp about an hour away, he told me a story about a 7 foot tall albino that had murdered some hikers in the area in the 80’s. As it turns out, the story is actually true, and they never caught the guy.

I’m 18 at this point, and pretty drunk, and the more I drink the more I get freaked out about this giant albino. I had to sleep on a couch underneath this huge bay window at his camp, and the whole night I just kept thinking I was going to open my eyes and see this albino standing over me in the window. That story still kind of freaks me out when I’m in the woods to this day, and my friends still make fun of me.

Glad that my first week on the panel gave everyone a chance to see how much of a wuss I am.

Dave - Rue Morgue’s The Abbatoir

This is an easy one. It’s so scary, in fact, I won’t recount it here,
but the title alone should send a chill down your spine.

Hands down, the scariest camping tale I know is:

“The Man Who Went Into The Woods Without Enough Beer!”

Mwuh huh huh huh huh!

Rony

The tale that scared me the most as a kid was when someone told a story about a kid who died in the same woods we were in and then later on that same person who told the story scares the crap out of you by jumping out of some bushes 20 minutes later.

Louis - Damaged 2.0

There was one that I first heard about seven or so years ago, about this country named America, that elected this monster, named George Bush, President of the United States. Long story short, the call was coming from inside the house!

JA - My New Plaid Pants

There’s this dude that rises to power and he’s totally evil and brings a thousand years of devil’s reign with seven-headed dragons and all manner of demons from the depths and no this isn’t current politics I went to Church Camp.

Kimberly - Cinebeats

The various versions I’ve heard of the “Velvet Ribbon” story are my favorites. I’ve heard the story told many different ways but it always involves a beautiful woman who wears a velvet ribbon around her neck and the male protagonist of the story always ends up removing it and the girl’s head falls off. I believe it’s originally based on a classic horror story by Washington Irving, but it’s become a a great campfire tale over the years.

Thanks to all this week’s contributors. Even the smart asses. You’ll get yours one day. If you’d like to share your creeptacular campfire tales, please do so in the comments below.

Whenever I grow tired of recent trends in movies I usually end up wallowing in the dumpsters of Horror history to find the trash and treasures of years gone by. One of the great joys of being an amateur cinephile is in continually delving deeper and deeper into the wonders of the past and never really seeing bottom. Sometimes you find a one-off gem, other times you find an entire sub-genre that yields dozens of unsung titles.

It probably goes without saying that the internet has made the hunt a lot easier. One of the most memorable aspects of my initial forays into Horror’s forgotten past is the Gray Market trade, where movies both obscure and discarded are scooped up and sold without an official release. Here were the true dregs of exploitation cinema, titles I would never find anywhere outside of a shadowy circle of aficionados.

As more people get higher bandwidth, this market has begun to venture out of tape trading and burnt dvds and into direct downloads. Case in point, Cosmic Hex, fine purveyors of rare and sleazy cinematic oddities. They have so may titles I’ve never heard of that, like some kind of born-again virgin of the grindhouse set, I feel as if I’m once again on the threshold of that journey into the bizarre. Don’t believe me? Here’s just a sampling.

Caltiki, the Immortal Monster, Cut-Throats Nine, Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, Four Flies on Grey Velvet, Planet of Horrors, Shriek of the Mutilated, Werewolf of Woodstock, Fantômas, Infra-Man, Yeti: The Giant of the 20th Century, Yor, the Hunter from the Future, just to name a small sampling.

First time’s free if you sign up. It took less than half-an-hour for me to download The Headless Eyes, and I plan on snagging a few more. If you decide to give them a spin, please do me a favour and tell them thehorrorblog sent you.

Name a period of time when your interest in horror diminished, and what brought you back.

Brainbug - The Celluloid Cesspool

I’ll let you know if that ever happens. Sure, I’ve had periods where I’ve watched less and read less because I had other stuff going on in my life, but the interest has never really gone away. I’ve been a horror fan ever since I watched The Hilarious House of Frightenstein as a kid, and I don’t seen any end in sight.

Billy

A peroid of time when my interest in horror movies diminished would be right now, and for a couple reasons. I just don’t have the time to watch alot of movies. And I think the quality of horror movie is going down. There is too much emphasis on special effects and not enough on actually making it scary. I’m not huge into the gore movies, I like movies that are scary and I think there is a real lack of directors out there that realise lights turning off by themselves are a hundred times scarier than seeing a monster in full detail eating some hapless victim.

Sean T. Collins - Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat

After I got married and moved in with my lovely wife, I had a lot less “me time” in terms of being able to watch horrendously violent movies. (She’s not into ‘em.) So it’s not that my interest diminished per se, just the frequency with which I watched and therefore thought about horror. At a certain point this fact dawned on me, and the result was Where the Monsters Go, the big horrorblogging marathon I did in October of 2003. That brought me back and kept me back. I realized that as a busy adult, you can’t just count on being able to do fun stuff with no forethought, and that’s fine. It’s just a matter of making a conscious effort to carve out time for something I know I get a lot of pleasure and fulfillment out of.

Jeff O’Brien

I can’t put an exact era to it but I’d have to say it’s those summers when H’wood floods us with big budget action spectacle posing as horror. The remake of The Haunting, Event Horizon… the Resident Evil movies… does any real horror fan actually find that stuff frightening as opposed to cool looking eye candy?

Nathan - MicroHorror

That’s an interesting question. Before I can answer it, I need to specify that I can’t really call myself interested in “horror” per se. I say this because horror is so broad a category, encompassing so many very different genres, forms and media, that it’s impossible to take in all of horror as a gestalt. To say that one has an interest in horror is similar to saying that one has an interest in music: you need to be more specific in order to convey any useful information.

That said, my interest in the overarching field of horror waxes and wanes with my interest in, and access to, the various subcategories that constitute it. I seek out the horror that I feel will best give me what I need at any given time, whether that be entertainment and distraction or something more meaningful. An example: I went through some fairly heavy periods of depression in high school and college. When the weight of the world seemed too much to bear, I wanted to escape into a different universe. I found satisfaction in horror movies and fiction that came supported by their own mythoi, where the creators had generated enough background that the realities behind the stories were self-supporting. The works of H.P. Lovecraft and Clive Barker, in particular, were great comforts.

More broadly, sometimes I feel short of attention span, and am disinclined to sit through entire two-hour movies, so I seek out anthology films, and that will constitute most of my horror diet until I watch every one that I can access. When I run out, I move on to something else.

Also, naturally, I do have interests and fandoms outside of horror, and sometimes they take priority. Next month, Season 2 of The Muppet Show hits DVD, and I doubt I’ll be watching much of anything until I’ve finished devouring that. (For what it’s worth, though, any horror fan worth his or her salt should watch the episodes guest-starring Vincent Price and Alice Cooper. They’re beautiful.)

I apologize for the long-windedness, but it’s all by way of saying that my interest in horror never genuinely diminishes, even when I seem less involved in the field. Inevitably, something new to me is waiting in the wings, ready to sink its claws in my throat and drag me back. I always go willingly.

Bill Cunningham - DisContent

I have to admit thatlately I haven’t been to “up in the clouds” about the horror genre. I’ve been worrying that the genre - especially in its moviemaking - has been increasingly derivative and truly doesn’t try hard enough. I take part of the blame on myself as much as anyone I could point to in that I have rented discs or seen movies that I really wasn’t to keen on.

What I should has done was take my money elsewhere but I have been going with the flow.

I’m not out of the genre by any means, I just think that in many ways, we are seeing the genre move to other media than movies. I just got back from the San Diego Comic Con, and saw many cool things coming on the horizon - new comics, toys, video games, and of course, movies.

[I urge everyone to pick up the upcoming The Complete History of the Skywald Horror Mood by Alan Hewetson]

I am especially bullish on Clive Barker’s Midnight Meat Train coming out in awhile (not sure of the release date). The trailer looked fantastic and I’m going to stick it out there and say this is going be faithful to what Barker intended - especially since his name is on it. This has always been one of my favorite of Barker’s Books of Blood.

Don May, Jr. - Synapse

I would say, around the beginning of the 1990s. For a few years, there was nothing too good out there that kept me interested in either film, or music. Thankfully, by the mid-nineties, I started my new career in the home video industry and things started to be interesting again. Too bad that music, too, of that period (1990 - ), until now, pretty much has still lost my interest.

Dave - Rue Morgue’s The Abbatoir

Through my teens I drifted away from horror, mainly because I didn’t know anyone that was into it to introduce me to a lot of the really cool stuff I couldn’t watch as a kid. Then I took a film class in my early 20s, where I met a good friend who turned me on to all kinds of cool fright flicks.

Curt - Groovy Age of Horror

In college and grad school, academics and other collegey stuff took precedence, but I never truly lost my love of horror. What reinspired it, I think, was erotic-horror anime like WICKED CITY and UROTSUKIDOJI. In my search for more sexy horror stuff, I found the book IMMORAL TALES, which introduced me to the kind of European horror that’s been most influential in shaping my tastes.

Kimberly - Cinebeats

In the late 80s-early 90s horror films hit a really rough spot. So much crap was being released and directors were battling studios to get films made and shown uncut. It was ugly. I wouldn’t say that I’ve ever lost interest in horror films but I was disappointed with the genre as a whole for awhile. Thankfully rare gems did get made during that time which gave me hope that things would change sooner or later. Sadly I’m sort of feeling the same way about modern horror at the moment but I never lose interest.

“May Cropsy pass over your campsite in favor of the naked teens!!” - David Z. As you read this I will be swinging in my hammock surrounded by woods and enjoying a pulpy novel or three. Thanks to all the contributors for this week’s confessional. Has Horror ever worn out its welcome with you? Let us know in the comments below, dig?