I’ve been both surprised and in awe of the caliber of participants in this series, but of all the people who chose to write in, one in particular made me weak in the knees. It is my pleasure to introduce Judith O’Dea, the actress who portrayed Barbara in Night of the Living Dead and helped usher in a new era for horror. After that terrifying night, what else could possibly scare her?

When I was around seven or eight years old, my parents took me out to the movies one evening to see Vincent Price in the 3-D version of THE HOUSE OF WAX. They had no idea what the story was all about. Had they known, I’m sure I would have been left safely at home with my sister to read a Mary Poppins or Nancy Drew book. But that’s not the way it happened.

Yep, good old Vincent Price in the HOUSE OF WAX was my own NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD!

Halloween mixes abound during the Halloween season. Most of them are a pleasing mix of the familiar, the obscure and the downright left-of-field. One of my favourites for 2007 is Canuxploitation expert and occassional Horror Roundtable contributor Paul Corupe and his House of Shock. Paul is the go-to guy for vintage cult cinema over at Rue Morgue magazine, so it should come as no surprise that his Halloween mix is packed to the gills with oddball novelty tunes and forgotten classics. I’ll admit that I’m not much of an expert on music to begin with, but I swear I’ve never seen the vast majority of these songs. You know you’re in dangerous territory when the radio spots interspersed throughout are more familiar than the songs themselves. While you’re at it, make sure you download the CD cover for the mix.

A few decades from now you’ll be watching the AFI’s 100 Greatest Movies and House of the Dead will take first place for the second time in a row. You’ll tell your granddaughter that there was once a time when Uwe Boll was not considered a genius and she’ll turn to you and say “LOL! O RLY? You’ve been pwned, n00b! LMFAO!” And she’ll take off on her hoverboard, leaving you behind with only your regrets to keep you company.

I saw ROSEMARY’S BABY when I was 10 years old. It came on TV in the middle of the night. My parents were sleeping and I silently went into the living room and watched the movie. I was scared shitless. In the middle of the movie my mother walked into the room and I was super scared because I thought the DEVIL came in. I jumped from the couch and tried to escape - till I realized that it was my mother. After the movie was finished (my mother was so nice to let me see the end) I went in my bedroom and I started sleeping till I heard a noise in my closet. Of course the noise was only in my head. The door of the closet opened up and a woman came out and screamed I’M BLIND. I’M BLIND. I had this dream with the blind woman walking slowly over to me for a few months and I couldn’t figure out why …because a blind woman has nothing to do with ROSEMARY’S BABY.

Describe your worst Halloween costume.

Donald May, Jr. - Synapse

One year, as a small child, I went as Steve Austin from THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN. It was one of those cheesy, plastic facemask deals with the pull over vinyl outfit. It made me itch and the mask smelled funny. It was truly, truly a miserable costume.

Nathan - MicroHorror

I didn’t really have the wherewithal to do anything fancy or elaborate during my college years. Worst of all was probably one October when I was dead broke and ass-deep in classwork, and hadn’t planned to do anything at all, but then some friends offered me a few bucks to haul my karaoke machine across campus for their party. How could I say no? Of course I was obligated to get a costume at that point, but there were only a couple of days left before Halloween, so I had no choice but to hit the discount costume warehouse. The only thing there that fit both my budget and my mighty girth was a cheesy black-and-white striped prisoner suit. Weak, yo.

Eric - Bloody Good Horror

In second grade I went as “Michaelangelo” from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles… only my parents couldn’t afford a real costume so I made it myself. The shell was the top to a cardboard box flattened out and colored like a turtle shell, we died a pair of sweatpants green and cut up an orange towel as my mask. My parents always remember it fondly but I just remember it as the year I had the ghetto ass Halloween costume. I never got the official merchandise when I was a kid, which is probably why I waste so much damn money on it now. Such is life though I guess.

Sean T. Collins - Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat

I like to think that when I do dress up, the results are pretty bangin’–just by way of a for instance, my “douchebag” costume from last year, featuring an offensive t-shirt, stonewashed jeans, and a skeevy mustache was sufficiently douche-tastic to make my wife refuse to look at me until I’d shaved the ’stache off. So I’d have to say that my worst Halloween costumes come from the years when I don’t have one.

Jeff O’Brien

As a kid I made a robot out of an old cardboard box that a giant picture tube TV was shipped in. Went all out, dials and gauges and buttons and the works. Two steps and I turtled and could not get up. Could not go out until the bottom of it was sawed off…

JA - My New Plaid Pants

Getting drunk on Halloween night should only be done AFTER you apply your zombie make-up. Sadly, I didn’t learn this lesson until just last year. I was… enthusiastic… as I applied the make-up, that much is sure, but about ten minutes after leaving the house I wanted to take a pumice stone to my face and scrub until skull showed. Most uncomfortable night ever.

Louis Fowler

Growing up poor, but loving Halloween, it was always a matter of homegrown improvisation. I would make my own fake blood and patch together costumes from whatever I could find. Like one year, when I was 8 or 9, I wore a bathrobe and covered it in blood and pretended to be a guy who murdered his wife early in the morning. I even carried a bloodied newspaper. But the worst was in 1989, I think I was maybe 10, when I really wanted to be the Joker. Batman had came out earlier that summer, and I was obsessed, so I raked a few neighbor’s leaves and got enough money to buy some white face paint and some lipstick and really fucked it up when I put it on. Also, for the costume, I wore jeans and a bright green button-up shirt. I kind of looked like a deranged clown on his day off. I got made fun at school, especially when a kid came dressed EXACTLY like the Joker,in full costume. It sucked so bad that I didn’t even go trick-or-treating. In retrospect though, I realized, like in all things I do, that I was simply ahead of my time–look at Heath Ledger’s interpretation of the Joker in the upcoming Batman sequel, all crazy and smeared. If that had been the Joker then, I would have had it made.

Kimberly - Cinebeats

When I was a kid I would constantly beg my mom for really scary and expensive monster masks sold at a local toy store. Of course my mom (who hated horror movies) always wanted to dress me up as a princess or clown and we could never afford the good costumes, so we had lots of nasty fights which usually ended with her buying me a costume that I didn’t pick out for myself. The worst costume she ever got me was a cheap plastic Mary Poppins outfit made by Disney. I can remember telling my mom that it was awful and looked nothing like Mary Poppins. I had to wear the hideous thing to school for our annual “Junior Halloween Parade” where the teachers would parade the young kids through the high-school where the older kids would vote on who had the best costume. When my class got to the first high-school classroom all the teenagers started laughing. I suddenly realized they were all laughing at ME and pointing at my crappy Mary Poppins costume. Naturally I started crying and ran into the bathroom where I refused to come out. My teacher had to call my mom to come and pick me up. When my mom arrived I refused to talk to her on the drive home. On the bright side, after that traumatic event I was able to wear just about anything I wanted on Halloween and my mom helped me make a ghost costume out of a bed sheet that night so I could go trick-or-treating since I refused to go outside again in the Mary Poppins costume.

Dave - Rue Morgue’s The Abbatoir

Probably the cheap, shitty plastic Spider-Man costume bought from Zellers when I was a wee lad. Not only are those half-assed costumes ridiculous, the mask edges were sharp and chafed my face, the elastic holding it on snapped and stung my hand, and, worst of all, it got all humid and smelly from breathing in it all night. Yet, when I inevitably sat on it and it shattered, I was still sad.

Ben Cooper has a lot to answer for. Thanks once again to all the lil’ trick or treaters who make up the Horror Roundtable. And, as always, if you have your own costume horror story you’d like to share please do so in the comments below.

Describe your least favourite Halloween experience.

Rony

Worst halloween I ever had would be when I was younger I got sick and couldn’t go out trick or treating. I would’ve went regardless but parents stopped me, damn it!!

Sean T. Collins - Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat

I remember getting all dressed up as the Crow in high school and not ending up having anywhere to go to show off. I just ended up opening the door for trick or treaters on my mom’s behalf. None of them recognized me. Fail.

Eric - Bloody Good Horror

When I was like 7 or 8, my mom made me dress up as a “Gloworm.” The fellow 80’s kids/parents will know what I’m talking about. Not only was the costume less than manly (or cool) but the mask made it hard to see where I was walking. So I’m walking down my neighbor’s stairs, guessed wrong as to how many stairs there were, and ended up face first on the sidewalk. So now not only am I dressed up like a gloworm, but I’m crying. I can’t believe I just told that story.

Tim - Mondo Schlocko

The moment you go to bed and realize that the next day Halloween will be back in 365 days. I hate that moment.

Nathan - MicroHorror

You’re a grown-up now; there’s no denying it. As much as you’d love to go out trick-or-treating, you decide that you’re going to be responsible for once. You’re going to stay at home on Halloween so that you can give out candy to the new generation and teach them how much fun Halloween should be. Here’s how your evening goes.

5:00 PM: Your costume is on and your decorations are up. The CD of spooky music and sound effects is playing on your stereo. You’ve taken your post by the door. Beside you is a gigantic bowl of candy– the good stuff, not those horrible black-and-orange taffies. You’re ready.

5:15 PM: No trick-or-treaters yet. They’re probably just getting a late start.

5:30 PM: Still no trick-or-treaters. The candy in the bowl is starting to look mighty tasty.

5:45 PM: Where are they? Since you paid for the candy, you figure you’re entitled to just a piece or two.

5:50 PM: Or three. Or eight.

6:15 PM: You’re downright bored by now. If you start watching a DVD, you’ll still be able to hear the doorbell if it rings.

6:20 PM: You put in a horror DVD you got from NetFlix, sit in your easy chair and start watching.

6:23 PM: You go back to the front door, get the bowl of candy, bring it back to your chair and resume the movie.

6:45 PM: The movie doesn’t seem all that good, but maybe it’ll get better.

7:30 PM: This movie sucks.

8:10 PM: The movie is over. Most of the candy in the bowl has vanished mysteriously, and a pile of candy wrappers has appeared next to you. Still no trick-or-treaters. Maybe the other horror DVD you got from NetFlix will be better.

9:45 PM: No, that movie sucked too.

10:00 PM: You turn off the porch light. Goddamn kids today don’t know what Halloween is about. You take off the costume and start getting ready for bed. You vow that next year, you’ll spend your time productively and throw eggs at cars.

3:23 AM: The doorbell rings. You swear under your breath, roll over and go back to sleep.

Jeff O’Brien

Being in tears as a little kid wearing a dorky costume instead of the ones my friends wore that i thought were so cool.

Louis Fowler

The time I got molested.

Dave - Rue Morgue’s The Abbatoir

I’m sure we all share this one: the year you realize you’re too old to trick-or-treat. I don’t recall exactly how old I was, but what a bummer. Few things in life signal the end of childhood more painfully than your first Halloween night at home. Luckily, drunken Halloween house parties more than made up for it a few years later.

Stacie - Final Girl

Man that’s an easy one. When I was in first grade, I dressed up as the Incredible Hulk- it was one of those Ben Cooper costumes, the kind that came in a box. We kiddies got to wear our costumes to school and towards the end of the day we had a big party. Everyone arranged their desks around the room, forming a giant circle. Everyone had a little plate and the teacher passed out candy and other goodies. I remember sitting in my chair, pushed far away from my desk, not enjoying the snacks like everyone else was because something JUST WASN’T RIGHT. By the time I figured out what was going on, it was far too late: I made it to the classroom door before I before I barfed all over the place. I kind of stood there, and at that moment a parade of kindergarteners came by to show off their costumes; they couldn’t get into our class because of the mess I made in the doorway- they all hurried by curious and horrified. I got sick some more and eventually made my way to the nurse’s office…my mom came and picked me up and took me home. No trick or treating for me that year, but I did at least get to participate in the “joy” of handing out candy to all the other neighborhood kids- just what every first grader wants to do on Halloween. One ruined Hulk costume, no candy, and the humiliation of upchucking in front of all my classmates! Yay!

Worst. Halloween. EVARRR.

And on that happy note this edition of The Horror Roundtable draws to a close. Thanks to all the ghouls and goblins who contributed their horror stories this week. Make sure you check out their sites in the links above, and if you have your own tales of Halloween terror won’t you share them below?

Last year I invited a small number of my favourite non-horror bloggers to contribute to The Horror Blog. My diabolical American double Mike Sterling, proprietor of the fantastic comic blog Progressive Ruin, set the record straight on the horrors of the Man of Steel with his Five Favorite Scary Superman Moments. It’s been nearly a year since then, and Mike has asked his readers to help redecorate his digs with an open call for banner submissions. My creepy effort, based upon The Nightmarish Frog Thing, was chosen to introduce the rotating line-up of banners. Head on over to Progressive Ruin to see what I’m up to when I’m not kicking it hardcore, but hurry, I’m about to be replaced any day now.

Describe your least favourite Halloween candy.

Jeff O’Brien.

These little menthol tasting semi-clear mints that the old British lady on our block used to hand out. Mothballs would taste better!

Curt - Beyond The Groovy Age of Horror

Candy corn. Fact: it was never meant to be eaten, but was created for decorative purposes only.

Paul Corupe

Stale popcorn sweepings with a sweet pink candy coating AND a cheap plastic toy inside? Now I know why they added an asterisk after “Lucky.”

Eric - Bloody Good Horror

Pretty much anything with coconut. Not only does it taste like you’re chewing plastic, but I’ve got to wonder about someone who would choose this as the candy they are going to hand out to children on Halloween. You’re almost saying, “I hate you and want you to suffer” by making that choice. I’d rather get one of those razors my mom was always warning me about.

Dave - Rue Morgue’s The Abbatoir

That’s an easy one: those sick-ass, puke green/brown filling-destroying toffees in the orange wrapper with the cats and bats on ‘em. I think this is one with updated packaging. The only thing worse than getting those little barf pills were getting raisins. Anyone heinous enough to give children raisins might as well hand out little signs that read “Egg my house, I’m an asshole!”

Nathan - MicroHorror

I’m sure somebody is going to name Mary Janes, but I’ll give them a preemptive defense since I like those little guys. I dig the molasses flavor, don’cha know– that’s why Goldenberg’s Peanut Chews are the best candy ever. But we’re not here to talk about good candy today. No, we’re here to talk about bad candy. And for the ultimate in bad candy, nothing can dethrone the Unholy Duo of Circus Peanuts and Necco Wafers.

Ostensibly, Circus Peanuts are banana-flavored, but I never would have known that if I hadn’t just looked it up. No, instead the two most prominent flavors in a Circus Peanut are Artificial and Nasty. (ArtiNasty? NastiFicial?) They’re simultaneously bitter and cloyingly sweet, with maybe just a hint of mildew. The texture of a Circus Peanut, of course, is no better than the taste. They look like they might have the satisfying rubbery resistance of a marshmallow, but instead your teeth just sort of melt through, and once inside your mouth the Peanut sucks up your saliva and dissolves into a lumpy, gritty slime. Finally, you swallow, and are left with nothing but the aftertaste of despair.

Necco Wafers, on the other hand, come in eight different flavors, but they’re all bad. Necco.com lists them as orange, lemon, lime, clove, chocolate, cinnamon, licorice, and wintergreen. I don’t need to go into any further detail, on the grounds that several of these are obviously bad flavors to begin with, and trying to recreate them artificially can only end in heartbreak and tragedy. In any event, once the elves (Gnomes? Kobolds? Trolls?) in the magical Necco tree have created these wretched flavors, they apply them to… well… chalk. There’s no beating around the bush here. It’s just like chewing on the colored chalk you stole in first grade when Mrs. Gottlieb wasn’t watching: powdery and dry. Only now, it tastes like wintergreen and clove.

Frankly, if these are supposed to be treats, I’ll take the trick.

Kimberly - Cinebeats

Tootsie Rolls. I always used to have a ton of them sitting in the bottom of candy bag after Halloween. They were the last thing I would eat when all the good stuff was gone. They’re supposed to taste like chocolate, but nothing could be further from the truth. Blah!

Louis - Damaged 2.0

I don’t know exactly what it’s called, but you know that peanut butter taffy-type shit that is wrapped in blank black and orange wrappers? Goddamn is that shit nasty. I don’t think it has an official name, but they are always the last thing you eat after you’ve eaten all the good stuff, and even then, you’re just doing it out of obligation to Choknoog, the God of Candy.

Gary Wintle

I respect the tradition and all, but those light brown taffies with the orange and black wrappers are the worst crap candies ever. Give me the ol’ apple with a razor blade any day.

JA - My New Plaid Pants

Candy Corn is what bile would taste like if it were taken straight from the stomach of a month-dead corpse and reshaped into that familiar conical shape using Elmer’s Glue.

Rony

The worst halloween candy ever is that gross toffee stuff that has the orange and black wrapper with bats and moons on the wrapper. You know which one I’m talking about. you get it ever year and ever year it tastes like someone has shit directly into your mouth. I don’t know one living soul who enjoys that garbage.

Bill Cunningham - DisContent

Children under eight years of age.

Too much “baby fat.” I’m watching my weight.

Doug Nagy

I hate the small bags of chips. It is not even candy, and hardly a bag of chips!

Three out of five Canadians agree, Allan kisses are shit. Thanks to this week’s contributors. They’ve suffered so you don’t have to. If you have your own Halloween candy horror stories, please feel free to share in the comments below.

To many, there’s nothing quite as primal and terrifying as the depths of the ocean floor. Novelist Steve Alten knows this all too well, having our world and underwater terror collide repeatedly in his work, particularly in his popular Meg series. In this installment of Scarred, Alten offers up his fright-filled reminiscence as well as a peek at how it’s influenced his upcoming work.

From a film standpoint, “Silence of the Lambs” contained the most disturbing scenes I’ve watched on the big screen, things that I would think about long after the movie. I also remember watching the ABC TV movie “Night Stalker” when I was younger and that one really got to me. Any movie that you imagine yourself going through the scariest scenes makes an impact, and these two did on me. The more grounded in reality, the scarier the effect.

As I have said, to me, the more grounded in reality, the scarier the story.

You may be wondering what I’m up to when I’m not horror blogging or practicing 36 styles of danger. Well, recently I’ve been trying to get back into drawing, starting out with a bunch of random doodles which I thought I’d share with the class.

Hugo is my homage to classic comic strips, like Wash Tubbs and Captain Easy, Little Orphan Annie and Popeye, among others. I’ve been doodling him and his pet frilled lizard, Chloe, for a decade now, and I’ll probably be doing the same for the rest of my life.

She’s saying ‘Magnus’ because she’s about to fight robots. The goat head is her arch nemesis. He’s yelling ‘Nooo!’ because that’s what Nagy yells every time he impersonates the Goat Lord.

Me, circa 1989.

A comic character which I had a small part in creating has found a new home at The Shifter Archive. Jenny is a public domain character whose power is the ability to exist in all dimensions at once, the better to allow different interpretations of the character without worrying about continuity. I recommend anything by Nelson Evergreen, especially the very first completed Jenny story Name’s Not Down, and if you’re looking for something with a horror bent, there’s Graveyard Shift, Mrs. Zirma, and many more.

The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition. This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, in order that others may use this property as they wish. All rights reversed.

It’s Toonie Tuesday at The Horror Blog, and today I’m offering up two fellow Canadians who are keeping the fine tradition of Canuxploitation alive and well into the 21st Century.

Brett Kelly directed one of my favourite horror films of last year, My Dead Girlfriend, recently wrapped Prey for the Beast with screenwriter and Horror Roundtable contributor Jeff O’Brien and is hard at work on a remake of Attack of the Giant Leeches.

When I was a kid I think the piece of art that frightened me the most was the old Michael Redgrave movie “Dead of Night”, there was a scene involving a coachman and a prmonition of death that freaked me out. I still love that movie.

Nothing recently has scared me.

David DeCoteau has been crafting totally hot horror films for more than two decades, including Creepazoids, The Brotherhood, Witchhouse and personal favourite Leeches! and shows no sign of slowing down.

I remember back in December 1978 I was invited to a sneak preview of a little horror movie called HALLOWEEN. The movie scared the crap out of me and my friends. Never heard an audience scream louder since! Amazing evening!

I’ve been reading comics for nearly three decades now. For the past few years my comic book habit died down in favour of classic comic strips, but I’ve always managed to keep my toe in the water. That said, the only titles that I’ve bought regularly over the last five years are The Walking Dead, Conan, and Little Lulu. Yeah, that’s right.

Little Lulu is right up there with Little Orphan Annie as a comic with a reputation based more on surface impressions then on actual content. John Stanley, the writer and breakdown artist on Little Lulu, is known in comic circles as being one of the all-time great cartoonists. And although he’s best known for his humourous work, another area in which Stanley excelled was Horror.

Comic Books Are Interesting Except When They Are Not Interesting has posted a sweet one-pager by Stanley entitle Goblin’s Ball. The first time I read it I wondered where the rest of the story was.

Thanks to The Comics Reporter for the link. If Goblin’s Ball appeals to you, I also posted a link to Stanley’s legendary horror comic The Monster of Dread End on International Read A Comic Book Naked Day which you may find interesting.

Like many young horror movie directors, J.R. Bookwalter set his sights impossibly high. Unlike most of his peers he not only completed his project, the epic zombie flick The Dead Next Door, but also spun that cult classic into a career that’s still going strong over twenty years later, culminating in the founding of Tempe Entertainment, home of some of my favourite direct-to-video releases. What terrible things could possibly set a young man on this path to madness?

It may sound like a cheesy choice, but I remember as a kid watching the Dan Curtis TV movie BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA starring Jack Palance and it scared the hell out of me… there was some scene where Dracula was trying to get into a locked door and the man or woman inside the room were freaking out… it’s one of the only times I went running to my mother’s bedroom after watching a horror flick on TV, that’s for sure!

Runner up has to go to the also-cheesy ’70s documentary THE MYSTERIOUS MONSTERS… the reenactment scene where Bigfoot smashes his arm through the window to grab someone sitting next to it totally had me moving my bed away from the window for weeks afterward… and my bedroom was on the second floor!

Share a Halloween tip.

Donald May, Jr. - Synapse

Never ever ever toilet paper the house of the local crazy cat lady… that’s just my small piece of advice.

Nathan - MicroHorror

Here’s my best Halloween advice: No matter how old you are, there’s no reason to stop trick-or-treating. If you like candy, go out and get some. Don’t let the youngsters hog all the fun.

But for Pete’s sake, wear a costume. And I don’t mean something you paid ten bucks for on October 30. Put some effort into it, or at least some creativity. When I publish my own personalized dictionary, the entry for “pathetic” is going to have a picture next to it of an orange T-shirt with the words “This is my costume.”

Have fun.

Dave - Rue Morgue’s The Abbatoir

When inserting pins into an apple, put them in through the top or bottom, near the core, so the kids won’t notice the holes. [Editor’s note: Kids, don’t eat anything that isn’t factory sealed, hasn’t been checked by your parents or was given to you by Dave.]

Eric - Bloody Good Horror

This is more sentimental advice than anything, but it’s about pumpkins. Personally, although I’m impressed by those fancy pumpkin “templates” you can use to make insaley detailed carvings, there’s nothing more endearing to me than a crooked toothed, off-kilter pumpkin face. I guess it just reminds me of my childhood and my own bad carving jobs, but it’s good to keep things old school sometimes. Especially if you have kids, let them mess up and have fun with it. Other than that, don’t give away Mounds to Trick or Treaters, those things are nasty, and you’re severely increasing your chances of being egged.

Sean T. Collins - Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat

Be kind to the vegetarian trick-or-treaters out there and avoid giving out candy that has gelatin in it. Gelatin comes from animal tissue, which means that any time you’re eating gummi bears or skittles or whatnot, you’re eating meat! Those of us who don’t eat meat but have a TOTALLY FREAKING RAVENOUS SWEET-TOOTH (ahem) will thank you for sticking to non-gelatinous goodies.

Doug Nagy

When trick or treating always wrap your candy bag around your hand a few times. That way it is not easily swiped by thieves.

Rony

Here’s a tip you all might already know but I’ll tell it anyways. If you like scaring kids as much as I do, then you know it’s getting pretty hard to do it because the damned kids are getting wise to it. So to make yourself look really fake, use newspaper to stuff yourself and make sure that it’s totally uneven along the limbs. You can even make it look like the legs/arms are broken which throws off the little boogers. Also, if you are wearing boots, a good trick is to not put one of the boots on completely and have it bend to the side to make it look like the boot fell off. Happy Scares Everyone!

Louis - Damaged 2.0

Whenever sneaking into an old abandoned house for a night of Halloween partyin’, dope smokin’ and fornicatin’, do some research. It might save your life.

Was a family killed in that house on that very night 25 years ago? Did it used to belong to the town’s resident misunderstood witch, who was murdered by an angry mob? Are there rumors that maybe there’s a gateway to Hell in the basement? Was the house built by reliable contractors who wouldn’t stuff a dead construction worker in the walls? And what about that silent killer, radon?

Take a little time out to go to your local library to research the history of the place and not only will I guarantee you a bitchin’ party, but one where the only person who’ll end up dead is the skanky sorority slut who gets alcohol poisoning.

Also look out for meth-addled bums.

Kimberly - Cinebeats

If you want to create a really spectacular Jack-o’-lantern for Halloween I highly recommend spending some extra money on a Pumpkin Carving Kit. After struggling with a kitchen knife and various household tools for years, I finally broke down a bought a special Pumpkin Carving Kit at my local Woolworth’s a couple of years ago and the results have been mighty impressive. They’re easy to use and you can really get creative with your pumpkin carving. Pumpkin Master makes some good products and they also have a website (www.pumpkinmasters.com) with lots of carving tips. Pumpkin carving parties can be a lot of fun and I recommend getting some friends together to carve pumpkins while you watch horror movies a day or two before Halloween.

David Z. - Tomb It May Concern

This is my first year with a child old enough to really dig Halloween, so my biggest tip is this. Remember EVERYTHING you loved about the holiday as a kid, and then do it. So what…I’m 39 years old but I’m gonna be the best 5 foot 5 inch EL SANTO ever.

EVER!!!

Thanks to all the cute little trick-or-treaters who helped dispense wisdom in this week’s Roundtable. Check out what else they have to say in their respective sites above, and if you have any sound advice please feel free to leave it in the comments below. And remember, if you’re afraid someone may try to steal your loot, make sure you collect all your pop cans in one bag for use as a makeshift weapon.