Share a Halloween tip.

Donald May, Jr. - Synapse

Never ever ever toilet paper the house of the local crazy cat lady… that’s just my small piece of advice.

Nathan - MicroHorror

Here’s my best Halloween advice: No matter how old you are, there’s no reason to stop trick-or-treating. If you like candy, go out and get some. Don’t let the youngsters hog all the fun.

But for Pete’s sake, wear a costume. And I don’t mean something you paid ten bucks for on October 30. Put some effort into it, or at least some creativity. When I publish my own personalized dictionary, the entry for “pathetic” is going to have a picture next to it of an orange T-shirt with the words “This is my costume.”

Have fun.

Dave - Rue Morgue’s The Abbatoir

When inserting pins into an apple, put them in through the top or bottom, near the core, so the kids won’t notice the holes. [Editor’s note: Kids, don’t eat anything that isn’t factory sealed, hasn’t been checked by your parents or was given to you by Dave.]

Eric - Bloody Good Horror

This is more sentimental advice than anything, but it’s about pumpkins. Personally, although I’m impressed by those fancy pumpkin “templates” you can use to make insaley detailed carvings, there’s nothing more endearing to me than a crooked toothed, off-kilter pumpkin face. I guess it just reminds me of my childhood and my own bad carving jobs, but it’s good to keep things old school sometimes. Especially if you have kids, let them mess up and have fun with it. Other than that, don’t give away Mounds to Trick or Treaters, those things are nasty, and you’re severely increasing your chances of being egged.

Sean T. Collins - Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat

Be kind to the vegetarian trick-or-treaters out there and avoid giving out candy that has gelatin in it. Gelatin comes from animal tissue, which means that any time you’re eating gummi bears or skittles or whatnot, you’re eating meat! Those of us who don’t eat meat but have a TOTALLY FREAKING RAVENOUS SWEET-TOOTH (ahem) will thank you for sticking to non-gelatinous goodies.

Doug Nagy

When trick or treating always wrap your candy bag around your hand a few times. That way it is not easily swiped by thieves.

Rony

Here’s a tip you all might already know but I’ll tell it anyways. If you like scaring kids as much as I do, then you know it’s getting pretty hard to do it because the damned kids are getting wise to it. So to make yourself look really fake, use newspaper to stuff yourself and make sure that it’s totally uneven along the limbs. You can even make it look like the legs/arms are broken which throws off the little boogers. Also, if you are wearing boots, a good trick is to not put one of the boots on completely and have it bend to the side to make it look like the boot fell off. Happy Scares Everyone!

Louis - Damaged 2.0

Whenever sneaking into an old abandoned house for a night of Halloween partyin’, dope smokin’ and fornicatin’, do some research. It might save your life.

Was a family killed in that house on that very night 25 years ago? Did it used to belong to the town’s resident misunderstood witch, who was murdered by an angry mob? Are there rumors that maybe there’s a gateway to Hell in the basement? Was the house built by reliable contractors who wouldn’t stuff a dead construction worker in the walls? And what about that silent killer, radon?

Take a little time out to go to your local library to research the history of the place and not only will I guarantee you a bitchin’ party, but one where the only person who’ll end up dead is the skanky sorority slut who gets alcohol poisoning.

Also look out for meth-addled bums.

Kimberly - Cinebeats

If you want to create a really spectacular Jack-o’-lantern for Halloween I highly recommend spending some extra money on a Pumpkin Carving Kit. After struggling with a kitchen knife and various household tools for years, I finally broke down a bought a special Pumpkin Carving Kit at my local Woolworth’s a couple of years ago and the results have been mighty impressive. They’re easy to use and you can really get creative with your pumpkin carving. Pumpkin Master makes some good products and they also have a website (www.pumpkinmasters.com) with lots of carving tips. Pumpkin carving parties can be a lot of fun and I recommend getting some friends together to carve pumpkins while you watch horror movies a day or two before Halloween.

David Z. - Tomb It May Concern

This is my first year with a child old enough to really dig Halloween, so my biggest tip is this. Remember EVERYTHING you loved about the holiday as a kid, and then do it. So what…I’m 39 years old but I’m gonna be the best 5 foot 5 inch EL SANTO ever.

EVER!!!

Thanks to all the cute little trick-or-treaters who helped dispense wisdom in this week’s Roundtable. Check out what else they have to say in their respective sites above, and if you have any sound advice please feel free to leave it in the comments below. And remember, if you’re afraid someone may try to steal your loot, make sure you collect all your pop cans in one bag for use as a makeshift weapon.

This entry was posted on Friday, October 5th, 2007 at 3:23 pm and is filed under Roundtable. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.