Sorry, but “Dawn of the Dead” is not about consumerism. It’s about a zombie plague, it succeeds or fails on that basis, and everything else is just something to make repeat viewings more rewarding once the visceral thrill’s been diluted (at least Romero’s social commentary was intentional–so many critics thought “The Thing” was about AIDS that now Carpenter does too).

I don’t resent this stuff being sussed out–I saw “Deathdream” recently and the relevance floored me–but to see these movies in those terms sucks the life out of ‘em. Yeah, the first two Body Snatcher flicks were rich with academic grist but c’mon, take all the high-mindedness out of the equation and they still kick ass. Doesn’t the chattering class ever wonder why kids love this shit so much? It ain’t for the mirror it holds up to society.

Okay, fine, I loved “Homecoming,” and that would seem to contradict everything I just said. In my defense, Bush really, really, really, sucks.