Horror Roundtable Week Eighty-Five
Name your favourite horror movie cliché.
When the monster or whatever frightful star of the franchise becomes more and more of a joke with each sequel. Jason, Freddy, Leprechaun (although that was kinda great still), and especially Chucky. Child’s Play scared the hell out of me as a kid, now look at him!
Sean - Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat
Oh, man, this is easy, and not just for movies either: I LOVE the creepy local who serves as a living warning to the foolhardy young’uns before everything turns to shit. Whether it’s the old hillbilly in Deliverance, a drunk at a cemetery in Texas Chain Saw, a taxi driver in The Ruins, the one-legged priest in Dawn of the Dead, the ranting Chinese woman in World War Z, hell, even the nice guy in Hostel Part II, I dig the hell out of those ominous dudes.
It strikes me as funny that slasher heroines ALWAYS have either a dead mother or a dead father (or at least absent). It’s as if the writers decided that being stalked by a psycho killer wasn’t enough to make the audience feel sympathetic for them, so they feel the need to add some other tragedy to their back story. If it were only one or two films than I probably would have never noticed, but seriously, think about some of your favorite slashers and see how many of those heroines have missing family members. It’s a strange cliche, and one that always makes me stop and take notice.
Jeff
A character runs into an elevator, her attacker right behind her. She stabs the button over and over as the attacker gets closer - the doors finally close, the attacker unable to pry them open again. In horror movie land there are no safety bumpers on the elevator doors that cause the door to open up again when pressed…
I love when someone opens a door and an animal/rodent comes out with a big music “stinger” scare! Don’t open that door! A cat might come jumping out!
I just love those… they are so overused and so funny that ANY filmmaker would even try to do it. Their inclusion in horror films just baffles me. But I laugh every time!
Lesbian vampires.
I mean really…
I say this with no particular pride but I suppose my favorite horror movie cliché will always be the Beautiful Woman who, even though she is in unfamiliar territory and may in fact sense that something is not right, will undress and perhaps even admire herself in a mirror. I suppose we have Psycho to blame for this. While Janet Leigh’s nudity was justified and even thematically relevant, the infamous shower scene inspired a generation and a half of filmmakers who think undressing is the proper apéritif to mayhem. In Dario Argento’s Tenebre, you have that wonderfully absurd moment where the journalist, unnerved by whispering coming from somewhere behind her, elects to go on changing her clothes, a choice that seals her doom (and provides the Argento canon with one of its most indelible images); for me, the cliché reached its apotheosis (or nadir) in Eli Roth’s Cabin Fever, where Cerina Vincent takes a break from the mounting horror to shave her legs. But for all I know, maybe these things really do help. Memo to self: next time in mortal fear, cup breasts.
Why would I have a favorite cliché? I hate clichés. The car never starts. The thing jumping out of nowhere is always the cat. The girl most willing to take off her shirt is inevitably the first to die. (That last one always bugged me. If I were making a movie, I’d want to give the half-naked actress as much screen time as possible.) No, I’m sick and tired of this stuff. That’s what I like most about the post-modern ’90s and ’00s slashers– the best of them subvert the clichés in some clever fashion or, at the very least, hang a lampshade on it and move on.
That said, there’s one movie cliché so old that it’s practically a tradition, and I love it ever so much. I refer, of course, to the good old Wilhelm Scream. I smile every time I hear it.
Why not go listen to this song now?
Dave - Rue Morgue’s The Abbatoir
Gardening tools that aren’t used for gardening. Even a lame slasher flick is at least watchable if there are some entertaining kills with a shovel, shears or scythe. And, yes, as overused as they are, chainsaws are still pretty scary when that engine comes to life with a loud crackle, spewing blue smoke and promising messy, painful mutilation. What we really need are more Garden Weasel ™ deaths, though.
Evil homosexuals.
Without a doubt, my absolute favorite, tried-and-true horror movie cliche would have to be the “killer/monster is right behind you” gimmick. What I’m referring to is that moment when our hero/heroine is backing up and suddenly realizes they’ve backed into whatever it was that was after them. A nice little chestnut that’s always good for a cheap scare, especially when punctuated with a sudden eruption from the soundtrack. There’s also a classic variation on this cliche which might be even better. Whenever a character in a horror movie starts walking in a particular direction while still looking in a different direction, you can bet your life savings that the instant they do turn around, they’ll be face-to-face with some unholy creature.
The mysterious black gloved killer who’s identity is hidden until the last 10 minutes of a film. I never get tired of seeing a knife carrying killer wearing tight black gloves going on a murder spree. This is probably why I love gialli films so much.
“Hey guys…let’s split up! We’ll cover more ground that way!”
It never fails, even in the best of horror movies, that people feel the need to pair off and go in different directions. Just once, I’d like to see a flick where all the teens stick together and either a) make it through the night because of their wise choice or b) the killer spears them, shish-kabob style.
Thanks to all this week’s contributors for one of the best Roundtables yet! Show them some love by visiting their respective sites, but before you split up please take a moment to share your own favourite clichés in the comments below. Now if only I could get this car to start…
February 9th, 2008 at 8:32 am
Oh, all right, I admit it. I like the creepy warning/expositioning local, too.
February 9th, 2008 at 11:46 am
We accept you, Nathan! One of us!
February 9th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
The cliche I really *love* to see, that almost makes me giddy, is the friendly sherrif/bbq cook/priest/etc. who is, you know, *evil.* I’m not sure where this started but Brotherhood of Satan is a prime example, as well as Rosemary’s Baby and Texas Chainsaw Massacre, so perhaps it’s an offshoot of ’70s cinema cynicism.
The cliche I absolutely *hate*: put a child in peril, but never kill them–this practically ruins the original The Blob. How many stupid tots get in danger, but we know they won’t get killed? It makes my teeth gnash–Jurassic Park is a perfect example of this: I knew those kids were never in true danger of being eaten. But if Spielberg had had the guts to munch one of the kiddies, then the movie would’ve been great.
Them! is the only film where kids are in danger, and it doesn’t feel like a cheat (you’ve gotten to know the children’s mother). (And standard action movie math told you that either Whitmore or Arness would buy the farm, as well.)
The twisted and worth-a-look-especially-for-young-Kevin-Dillon’s-mullet The Blob remake nicely subverts the child in peril manuever, but still sticks with it. As underground filmmaker Richard Kern once said of Aliens, “The movie would have been better if everybody died.”
Thanks,
–Ivan
February 9th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
But if Spielberg had had the guts to munch one of the kiddies, then the movie would’ve been great.
I disagree. JURASSIC PARK was a lightweight flight of fancy that couldn’t support the death of a child. MIMIC, on the other hand, was a dark, moody thriller in which the deaths of children made the surrounding horror that much more real and threatening. THE HOST surprises for this reason, too, seeming at first like a bit of big monster fluff only to pull a grim reversal on the viewer.
February 9th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
There’s a split here between cliches that folks like and like to hate.
If I were to pick the latter, it would be ironic teenagers. Nothing bugs me more than characters that are too cool for the movie they’re in — it’s so uninteresting. I wanna see a horror film with teenagers that could be in a Larry Clark film or The Wire, not American Pie or The O.C. Too much lazy screenwriting currently.
What would everyone else pick for the reverse of their current hate / like to hate cliche?
February 9th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Whenever I am watching a slasher film with Aunt John He screams “Hider in the hatch!” whenever a character gets into a car. I had no idea what this meant until he pointed out that there is always a killer in the back seat of the car. I still have no idea why he calls the back seat of a car a “hatch” though.
Of course, 9 times out of 10 he is correct. Is it really that easy for a grown man to hide back there? And if you were being stalked would you not check that space out before even entering your vehicle? Anyway this annoying cliche can be even more annoying if you remember to yell “Hider in the hatch!” before anyone else does!
February 9th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Aunt John apparently learned to drive in a Ford Pinto.
February 11th, 2008 at 9:32 am
I hate it when someone is being stalked, then when there’s no more sign of the stalker, slowly turns around and BOOM! There he is. You can ALWAYS see this coming because the camera has already panned to the right direction before the person even turned around to face the stalker. Argh this annoys me so much!
February 12th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
The creature is defeated, the day is saved, the heroes go off to have sex or whatever it is they do. Camera pans down slowly, and you say to yourself, gee, lemme guess, an egg?
Final shot: An egg.
I refer to this sort of ending as “status quo hacke.”
February 17th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
My favorite is the First Kill Security Guard, who takes his weak flashlight and walks around the corridors asking, “Who’s there? Hello? Damn kids!”
April 24th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Joshua Hoffine’s Horror Photography…
Horror photography by artist Joshua Hoffine. NSFW, via The Horror Blog…
August 27th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
damn kids LOL