Some kind of entertainment news program in Italy has produced the first look at Argento’s next film, the eagerly anticipated finale to the Three Mothers trilogy, The Mother of Tears. The clip is buried partway into the program, just below the two minute mark. There is no way you could confuse me for an Argento expert, though I have enjoyed more than my share of his work over the years. However, when the clip finally made its way to his portion, it was unmistakably Argento. I was really shocked at just how much his style leapt out of the screen, though I guess I shouldn’t have been.

This clip is making the rounds without most sites crediting its discovery to anyone, though I have my doubts that many sites have been staying up nights trolling the Cinecetta website for news on Argento. For a lack of a better culprit, I choose Dark Dreams, who I first saw the clip from and who do seem to be that obsessive.

I had limited computer access over the holidays, but I did manage to clock in some time on the internet. One of the things I filed away for my return was the trailer for a new documentary film being produced called Grindhouse Glory (and in case you can’t tell from the title, this one is Rated NSFW).

It’s a tad overlong for a trailer, and it’s mostly bulked up with clips from various movies of that era taken out of context, but the real treat is that they’ve roped in a fair amount of near-forgotten directors to discuss those halycon days. Some of the people profiled include Jeff Lieberman (Squirm), David Durston (I Drink Your Blood), Greydon Clark (Satan’s Cheerleaders) and John “Bud” Cardos (Kingdom of the Spiders). Hell, yeah!

For even more information, make sure you check out Horror Movies interview with the director behind Grindhouse Glory, David Litz.

SEX MACHINE “bootleg” trailer

Bow chika wow wouw. Horror Roundtable Direct-To-DVD specialist Bill Cunningham has directed his considerable pulp prowess towards promoting a little film called Sex Machine. From the press release.

Sex Machine , which takes its name from a mysterious tattoo on the hero’s arm is the gripping story of a man who wakes up in the middle of a gangland hit to discover that his limbs are not his own. Frank is a tough-talking patchwork assassin, stitched together from the body parts of other failed assassins. When Frank learns that his ex-girlfriend is the next test subject, he opens both barrels on his “creators” and unleashes a gory bloodbath of revenge.

Add to that some mad science, strip clubs and a mystery man with a bandaged face, and how could you possibly go wrong?

I’ve mentioned this a few times before, but I just can’t seem to get indignant about the recent trend in horror remakes. I’ve become hardened over the years. But there is one remake that pisses me off, and it’s The Hitcher, though not for any reason you may suspect. It’s not because I hold the original in high regard, or because the screenwriter is the same mastermind behind the recent When A Stranger Calls fiasco. No, my reason for hating The Hitcher remake before it’s release is admittedly stupid and petty on my part.

“The problem these days - I don’t know about in Australia, but here - nobody picks up hitchhikers anymore. So I had to work on making the villain a lot cleverer… more calculated.”

That is a quote from an interview with The Hitcher screenwriter Jake Wade Wall, and it drives up the wall. Has this guy ever stepped outside? How do you hire someone for a hitchhiking movie who isn’t aware, or willing to make himself aware, that although hitchhiking isn’t nearly as prevalent today as it was over twenty years ago it’s still practiced by thousands in North America alone. Not only have I hitchhiked quite a few times but I’ve also picked up hitchhikers on those rare occassions when I’ve been out driving, and I’ve never had to resort to clever or calculating ruses to sucker my rides. Just a thumb and some patience.

If you still want to subject yourself to the seizure-inducing trailer for The Hitcher remake, knock yourself out. Via Bloody Disgusting.

It’s my happening and Ia Ia Cthulhu F’tagn! Dark Lord Rob has contacted me about his first feature film, The Miskatonic Acid Test, and he wants to blow your mind.

It’s 1969, and cosmic horror infects a psychedelic rock “happening” in witch-haunted Arkham, Mass. It’s a zonked out brew of poetry, philosophy, metaphysical terror, and 60’s-style acid rock; probably the first horror movie that’s more heavily influenced by the Monkees’ “Head” than by George Romero. Sort of like Monterey Pop, only at the end monsters attack everybody.

Potentially even more important than the film is Dark Lord Rob’s efforts to preserve the long-lost Arkham Sound, even going so far as to make tracks from that era available for the first time in decades, including Erich Zann by The Howl and the legendary Come to Arkham (Wear the Wind in Your Hair) by Byron Fenris. I didn’t think these songs would ever turn up again. Praise Yog-Sothoth!

Screenwriter Jeff O’Brien has pointed me in the direction of that most elusive beast, the Canadian backwoods creature feature trailer. I’m looking forward to a good ol’ fashioned foam and rubber monster bloodbath.

I didn’t see this coming. Yahoo Movies has the trailer for a thriller starring Jim Carrey called The Number 23, set to be released next year. From the looks of it, the plot revolves around a man who, upon reading a book called The Number 23, discovers just how much that number permeates the world. From the looks of it, this knowledge drives him off the deep end.

It may seem like a silly concept, but it’s one that has been making the rounds for a very long time. William S. Burroughs used to keep a journal detailing his encounters with the number, a practice which Robert Anton Wilson transferred to both his non-fiction and fiction works, particularly The Illuminatus! Trilogy. Wilson also has an entry on the number in his book Everything Is Under Control: Conspiracies, Cults, and Cover-Ups.

This data provides an ideal measurement of how much weirdity you can happily attribute to “coincidence” before that starts to sound hollow and you begin sliding down the slippery solipsistic slope to seeing a Dark Design in almost everything.

He also provides a few pages of examples of synchronicities, many of which are used in the trailer and can also be found across the internet. All I know is my inner Discordian is very happy.

The original Bat Out Of Hell album was the soundtrack to at least two or three summers during my misspent youth. I have no idea why or how this came about. Maybe it just spoke to me and my friends because we grew up tough in the Rose City, and flaming motorcycles, rock operas and getting laid were the only three things we could relate to. When we would all crash at my place on Saturday nights, one of my friends would refuse to awaken until well after noon. We would shove, kick and punch him, but he just wouldn’t wake up. Finally, we placed Bat Out Of Hell on the turntable and over the course of nearly ten minutes he arose to the beat of the title song. It remains one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed.

Moviehole is reporting that Meatloaf is attempting to get a Bat Out Of Hell movie made. I don’t know about anyone else, but if this gets made you’ll find me in the cinema in the Rose City on opening night with all the other dirtbags.

Link via Cinematical.

I made my peace with the deluge of horror remakes long ago. In fact, I can’t even recall if I’ve ever been really upset by the idea of a shitty reimagining even when my two favourite horror movies, Night of the Living Dead and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, went through the wringer. Now the third film in my unholy trilogy of favourites is being remade, and while I’m still not upset, I am confused.

In a way, Black Christmas is a good choice for a remake. Black Christmas is the proto-slasher, directly influencing the sub-genre’s most famous outing, Halloween. Yet, because it was the first it is also completely unlike other slashers. It not only inspired them, but stands apart. Couple that with its relative obscurity and it would be entirely possible to scare new audiences with something familiar yet slightly different from what they would expect. As much as I hate making judgements based on a trailer, it’s evident that they’ve discarded many of the things that help make Black Christmas stand out and replaced them with lame slasher tropes.

What a waste.

Trailer found via Bloody Disgusting.

The aforementioned Carnival of Lost Souls over at Fox Atomic have continued on past Halloween with the sneak previews, inlcuding raw footage from The Hills Have Eyes and 28 Weeks Later. What’s left of my cynical, little heart yearns to rail against these films for numerous reasons, including the changeover from the creative teams of the first installments, the rushing of raw footage to promote the films during Halloween, and the possibility of a lack of intensity due to being lumped together under the teen-friendly Fox Atomic umbrella. However, few things can break down my defenses as much as seeing Robert Carlyle being chased by zombies.

You nearly had me, Rob Zombie. The director of the upcoming “reimagining” (I always picture saying that word as if I were Doug Henning) of Halloween shed some light on the project over at MTV Movies. While I despised House of 1000 Corpses, I really enjoyed The Devil’s Rejects, and I was hoping to see this upward swing of quality continue into Zombie’s next films. In fact, it’s evident that Zombie isn’t just doing this as a cash grab, so that’s refreshing. Then we hit the snag.

“I want the lead character to be Michael Myers,” Zombie said. “He’s not just a faceless thing floating around in the background and then you focus on these girls. I feel that that’s where you can make it different and that’s where you can make it more intense.”

Does anyone else find it funny that the remake of a film, Halloween, which was heavily influenced by another, Black Christmas, seems to be making that remake’s mistakes? Did that sentence even make any sense? Doubleplusgood! Take it from someone who scared the hell out of countless little kids last night, faceless things floating around in the background is about as intense as you can get.

You’ve got to be kidding me. Newsarama reports that Marvel is following through with their Marvel Zombies expansion by throwing everyone’s favourite Deadite killer in the mix. Robert Kirkman is onboard as a consultant to keep that ol’ Marvel Zombie continuity from getting out of hand, while writer John Layman takes over the reins.

“This is a story of a guy who is used to fighting the undead, who is used to being a hero, flung into a strange universe full of heroes …heroes who are not only all crazed flesh-eating zombies, but ones with hundreds of different crazy super-powers.”

“How’s a guy with a chainsaw, a shotgun, and a smart mouth supposed to survive that?”

One of the things that I’ve always loved about mainstream comics is that, between their punishing scheduling and their inherent disposability, they’re more than willing to not only take greater chances but to actually get things done. How long do you think something like this would have wallowed in development hell if it were being produced as a movie?

With the casting of Takashi Miike in the first Hostel, and the announcement of a very special appearance by Edwige Feneche in the second, Eli Roth has shown that he likes to stack the deck with infamous cult movie icons. Now Bloody Disgusting has leaked the identity of yet another grindhouse favourite appearing in the sequel.

While enjoying the single best set visit I’ve ever been on, I learned that horror legend Ruggero Deodato has been cast in Eli Roth’s highly anticipated Hostel sequel in an amazing cameo role. Although I can’t spill details I can tell you that the Writer/Director of the infamous Cannibal Holocaust is in one of the best “holy sh-t” moments of the film.

Jiminy Crickets! I wonder if there will be any budding horror fans who watch Hostel 2 and use it as a guide to track down some of horror’s more notably sleazy practitioners, and if so, whether they’ll lean on the side of the angels (Edwige Feneche…sigh…) or in the pits with the devils (Ruggero Deodato).

The Toronto Star has printed an article by Rue Morgue’s Chris Alexander detailing his visit to the set of George A. Romero’s Diary of the Dead, where the director spills the beans on some of the movie’s details.

“Diary of the Dead talks a lot about the media and this whole electronic eye that’s everywhere out there, all the time. And the main character, well, you don’t ever see this guy, he’s a voyeur. The film argues about the importance of media, and status of someone in that position … it’s an entirely new take on my themes.”

While I’m glad to see Romero trade in big studio money for less artistic interference, I can’t help feeling a little disturbed to see the director attempting to shoehorn social commentary into his films once again. It’s not that I think such tactics don’t have a place in genre filmmaking, just that I don’t think Romero is very good at it. By far my favourite film of his, Night of the Living Dead, is also the most unassuming. It feels more like the work of someone who is subconsiously filtering his outrage into a horror film, as opposed to simply creating films that replace subtlety with a more ham-fisted approach.

For a movie which I knew almost nothing about, I’m suddenly receiving an awful lot of information about The Return. A supernatural thriller that, while made in North America, seems to have it’s share of stylistic similarities to Japanese ghost stories, The Return stars Sarah Michelle Gellar as a woman guided by murdered spirits trying to find the killer. Today Yahoo Movies posted a number of clips, as well as the trailer, and it seemed as if Rogue Pictures was finally pumping out the advertisments in time for the film’s November 10th release date.

But wait. According to Arrow in the Head (via The Movie Blog), The Return is moving to January 19th.

As most film fanatics know, the early months of the year as usually reserved for studios dumping projects that they really don’t have much faith in (BLOODRAYNE, BIG MOMMA’S HOUSE 2, WHEN A STRANGER CALLS, and so on).

Odd considering the clips they just posted. That and both the Yahoo site and the official site still have Nov. 10th as the release date. Maybe it isn’t as bad a situation as they’re making it out to be. After all, Hostel opened in January and it did very well.