I may have been hasty in denouncing the new, sunnier ending concocted for the most recent adaptation of I Am Legend. I’ve spent the last 24 hours, both asleep and awake, happily imagining new ways to end the film.

For instance, the creatures capture Will Smith and drag him blindfolded to his fate. They reach their destination, take off the blindfold, and Will Smith discovers that they’ve resculpted the Statue of Liberty in his image, with the inscription “I Am Lejend” scratched into the base, not unlike the statue of Michael Jackson from the infamous HIStory video. Speechless in his disbelief, Will Smith turns to the leader of the creatures who rests his hand on Smith’s chest and intones, with some difficulty, the word “Friend”. Will Smith replies in kind, and the screen fades to black as the sun rises on a new day.

Leave your own faux-happy endings, for I Am Legend or any other downbeat horror movie, in the comments below. My favourite entry will receive a DVD copy of the surprisingly fun Flight of the Living Dead as well as any other goodies I can gather together.

Thanks to JA for “Lejend”.

I’m giving away one copy of the soundtrack for Rob Zombie’s Halloween, featuring KISS and Alice Fucking Cooper, provided by the fine folks at Deep Focus. To win, simply name the Halloween films that correspond with the masks shown above. Answers should be left in the comments. The first person to name them all correctly, or the person with the most correct answers by next Monday, gets the soundtrack. Good Luck! Halloween hits theatres August 31st.

Do you think you have what it takes to whip out an exploitation masterpiece? If so, The Groovy Age of Horror wants to see what you’ve got. In conjunction with his recent foray into Naziploitation, Curt is asking his readers to write their own sleazy Nazi epics, in 100 words or less. And all manner of fiction is eligible.

Although it must be fictional, it needn’t necessarily be prose. If you can write an awesome Nazisploitation haiku, more power to you!

In the time it took you to read this you could have already won. So sharpen your pencils, crack out the thesaurus and get writing, schwinehund!

Wicked! Some kids from the Rose City and the Garden City have managed to put aside their differences and created The 80’s Blog, a look at all the day-glo decadence that decade has to offer. Of especial interest to readers of this blog is the Halloween costume contest they’re holding.

With a stay-at-home mom, I always had beautifully sewn costumes, but families that had working parents often opted for the quick and easy Ben Cooper costumes. You know, the plastic mask and bag costumes? I never had the privilage of dressing up in a Ben Cooper costume, so I’ve recently been placing bids on eBay for numerous 80’s costumes, such as Pac-Man, Stripe (from Gremlins), Jem and ALF. Yes, I actually plan to wear a costume made to fit a 5 year old this year.

Anyways, we at the 80’s Blog would love to see your favourite childhood costume. Scan and send us that picture you have tucked away from the year you dressed up as Yoda. The picture we enjoy most will be featured on our website on Halloween and I will also personally send you a special halloweenie prize!!

Katie is the queen of finding cool gimcracks and geegaws, so head on over and enter.

I plan on holding numerous contests throughout October. One of these involves choosing who you think will walk away with the aforementioned Horror Blog Halloween Monster Rally championship. For the first 12 days of the rally I will be accepting one nomination per person as to who they think will come out on top. One name will be chosen from all the people who guessed correctly.

The winner will be sent a copy of LovecraCked - The Movie, a DVD compilation of Lovecraftian shorts courtesy of Biff Juggernaut, and a copy of My Dead Girlfriend, the latest film by Brett Kelly and one of my favourite films of the year, from Tempe Video.

The following are the contestants in the Monster Rally you can choose from.

The Blair Witch
The Blind Dead
Captain Howdy (from Strangeland)
Critters
Circus of Nights (from Vampire Circus)
Dollman
The Firefly Clan (House of 1,000 Corpse)
Frankenstein Monsters (Hammer versions)
Ghoulies
Hill House (from The Haunting)
Freddy Krueger
Freddy Krueger and Pinhead (tag team)
Leatherface
Michael Myers and Jason (tag team)
Pinhead
Samara (from the Ring)
Sammi Curr (from Trick or Treat)
The Sawyer Clan (from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre)
Waldemar Daninsky (from various Paul Naschy films)
Werewolf
Wolfman

Email me with your guess at steven@thehorrorblog.com. And may the best monster win.

When I first read about Uwe Boll challenging his critics to a boxing match, I thought it was a hoax. I still think it’s a hoax, but what the hell.

I am fed up. I’m fed up with people slamming my films on the Internet without see them. Many journalists make value judgments on my films based on the opinions of one or two thousand Internet voices. Half of those opinions come from people who’ve never watched my films. I have been told that “BloodRayne” has a very bad IMDb rating, but how many of those votes of zero were made before the movie appeared in theatres.

Five of Uwe Boll’s harshest critics will be flown out to Vancouver, where they will not only fight Boll, but also be an extra in his most recent film. Last night I wrote in to throw my hat in the ring, but one of the conditions that must be met is that you must have at least two negative reviews of Boll’s films available.  Since I enjoyed House of the Dead, I only have the negative review I wrote for Alone in the Dark.  Due to this, I received notice this morning that I was disqualified, unless of course there aren’t enough takers.

Halloween is months away, and it’s all I can seem to talk about these days.To celebrate the 40th anniversary of It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, United Feature Syndicate and the estate of Charles Schulz have announced an essay contest asking people to send in memories of their all-time worst Halloween ever.
Now, I can’t choose my worst Halloween memory (though having to share my candy with a little brother who broke his leg is right up there), but I can remember the best that could have turned into the worst. The city I grew up in was notorious for its roving bands of teenage Halloween candy snatchers. One year my luck ran out and a bunch of jokers tried to steal our bags of goodies. Happily, we had another tradition, one which involves using pillowcases full of pop cans as makeshift weapons.

You mess with the rose, you get the thorns.