If anything could rouse me from this summer languor it would have to be the rumours that The World’s Most Reliable Newspaper may cease publication. Other than Archie comics, I can think of no other publication that it would pain me more to watch disappear. Such is my love for WWN that I even considered making discussion of that fine newspaper a weekly feature of this blog, which unfortunately fell through due to lack of funds. Only weeks ago I told J. that I could finally afford a subscription to the World Weekly News, which she pronounced as “The greatest waste of money I’ve ever heard of,” a statement I’m sure she now regrets deeply.

If the rumours turn out to be true, there will be a hole in my heart the size of the one in the supermarket check-out line.

Thanks to Mike Sterling for bringing this to my attention.

Hey, Horror Nerds. Take a second out from huffing the glue from your Aurora models and cast your orbs on this Entertainment Weekly article on up-and-coming director Dario Argento. Were you aware that people make horror films in places other than America, or even Japan? Like, Oh My God! They even have their own name for horror movies, called Giall-O or something. It’s a kind of dessert, but you can only eat it with black gloves.

[Argento’s Animal Trilogy is] also singlehandedly responsible for earning Argento the nickname ”The Italian Hitchcock,” which to be honest would only really fit if Hitchcock had a sweet tooth for lithe Italian models in go-go boots and the kind of psychedelic freakout music that’s one part Ennio Morricone and two parts European porno soundtrack.

Of course, the three films he’s referring to were scored entirely by Morricone, but that was during his “porno” period, so all is forgiven.

I’d love a job at Entertainment Weekly, but it looks like I’m overqualified. That or it’s because I’m a mouth-breathing, tranchcoat-wearing horror nerd.

Rue Morgue is by far my favourite horror magazine on the market today. I pick it up first thing every month without hesitation, and rarely am I dissatisfied. Today is one of those rare exceptions. On their message board, Editor-In-Chief Jovanka Vuckovic has asked the board members to nominate feature films for their annual Best Of list. The nomination of Hostel was answered with the reply that it was released in 2005, and the underlying assumption to this statement is that it is not eligible for the poll.

If this were to happen with any other magazine, or any other movie, I would probably let it slide. But considering Hostel was my favourite movie of the year, and my favourite horror movie of the past seven, I’m more than a little disappointed. Hostel did have it’s premiere in 2005, but only at festivals, not in wide release. Presumably this would have made it eligible for the 2005 list, but since barely anyone had seen it by that point it was in all likelihood not considered. For the record, the film they chose as the Best Feature for 2005 was Haute Tension, which, if you follow the logic found above, was actually released in 2003, making it ineligible by a long shot.

Considering the strong support for Slither, I wouldn’t necessarily expect Hostel to come out on top anyway. It just would have been nice if it had been a contender.

Scott Weinberg over at Cinematical is in a bit of a huff over the term “Splat Pack”, supposedly used to group together a number of the newest breed of horror directors. I must not read enough mainstream publications, because though Scott has seen the phrase used multiple times, I’m pretty sure this is my first time hearing about it. Some horror blogger I turned out to be.

According to a Time magazine article linked to by the Cinematical post, the Splat Pack is comprised of Rob Zombie, James Wan, Leigh Whannell, Eli Roth, Neil Marshall, and Alexandre Aja. Scott makes his case for why this artificial grouping of filmmakers is idiotic.

The common themes among the Splat Packers are … what? They all like horror movies, they don’t shy away from intense chills, harsh themes or copious gore, and they’re all carbon-based life forms, I guess. But really: Does anyone out there think the work of Eli Roth is even remotely similar to that of Neil Marshall? Does a Rob Zombie flick remind you of what was seen in, say, High Tension? I mean, if you’re going to define a term, then define it. And as a big fan of just about all these movies, I just gotta scratch my head when I hear these guys lumped together in one basket.

Maybe I’m just inured to the ways of the media, but I can’t say that I’m all that upset over this. Unlike most people who have commented on this moniker, I can see a reason why there is an attempt to group some of the latest horror filmmakers together. The people who comprise “The Splat Pack” are, at least for now, directors who have not only had a fair amount of commerical success (and some critical) for their work, but seem to be happy to continue plying their trade within the genre in spite of this success. When was the last time a group of horror filmmakers emerged that had that level of committment, or the skill or luck to continue making theatrical films without getting sidetracked?

Every october I flip through Martha Stewart’s Halloween issue and every year I nearly buy it. Hard to believe, but Martha goes all out every year with all sorts of ghoulish tricks and treats. And she’s never afraid to make herself look monstrous for the occasion.

If you’re still not convinced, head on over to her website and check out some of her crafty video tutorials. My personal favourite is the Eyeball Wreath, where she discusses what it must feel like to push a human eyeball through a twig.

As I’ve mentioned once before, I count the days using a calendar courtesy of Cinema Sewer magazine, a publication published by cartoonist Robin Bougie that deals with all sorts of trash, from horror to porno to roller derbies and everything else your fevered little mind can imagine. The calendar is great, and I was looking forward to picking up the 2007 edition, but it looks like I’ll have to get a calendar with Ziggy instead. Illustrator Danny Hellman ponders the reason why the calendar isn’t being made over on his blog.

Bad news from the Bougieman: owing to Tower Records’ recent Chapter 11 bankruptcy, the plug has been pulled on the Cinema Sewer calendar for 2007. I’m not sure exactly what kind of arrangement Robin had with the folks at Tower; perhaps they were funding the print run, or maybe their distribution was key. In any event, Tower has pulled out, and the calendar is kaput.

The various illustrations can be found on various artists’ blogs and sties. Here’s the rundown.

The cover, a Christmas-themed page showcasing Santa Claus moonlighting as a vampire hunter, I Love Maria, Ichi The Killer, Lady Snowblood, Blood Freak, Klaus Kinski, The Foul King, The Ghost and Mr. Chicken, Majin, Rock N’ Roll Nightmare, Suburbia, and Sex and Fury.

Have you ever considered a career in horror journalism? If so, please reconsider. Believe me, it’s not worth the misery.

If you choose to ignore my advice, you may want to check out Moore and Reppion’s blog where they have the details on how you can become an intrepid correspondent for Revenant Magazine at Max Brooks’ Film Festival of the Living Dead.

FD and I will pick out the star candidate and he or she will be heading over to the film festival wearing a free Revenant t-shirt and with a free copy of World War Z (courtesy of Duckworth Publishers) under their arm. The tickets will also entitle the winner to attend a question and answer session with WWZ author Max Brooks, so you’d better think of some original questions to ask him too.

All entrants must be over 18 years of age, able to make their own way to and from the events in London, UK and must be prepared and have the necessary equipment to provide a full report on the event (including photographs, if possible).

So if you still insist on travelling down the lonely, drunken road of horror journalism, get cracking.

Master of Horror Cartooning Stephen Bissette has written a response (scroll down to the July 25th post) to the Tim Lucas article I linked to yesterday about the gradual supplantation of print ‘zines by blogs. Stephen offers another alternative. What if the release of the films themselves, if not downplaying the need for ‘zines, can be considered the continuation and maturation of the cult movie ‘zine scene?

In fact, many of these releases sport, as extras, nifty and sometimes expansive booklets that are, in fact, l’il fanzines in and of themselves. Add to those print mini-zines the tsunami of DVD bonuses, extras and ‘easter eggs’ we’ve come to take for granted, and you have digital fanzines en masse that clearly are 21st Century kith and kin to their 20th Century precursors, available from far more distribution venues than the mail-order-only-Monster-Kids of the ’60s would have dared to imagine.

There’s plenty more where that came from, and it’s an exhaustive ride. Bissette marries the old and the new in ways that are unexpected yet glaringly obvious in hindsight.

Oh, and Xerox Ferox has got to be one of the coolest names for anything, anywhere.

Everything’s coming up ‘zines, those old school photocopied and stapled relics of the past that I just can’t get out of my heart. Tim Lucas discusses the shifting of attention from print to the internet with the recent demise of Psychotronic magazine.

Gavin Smith offers his own thoughts on the subject of print vs. the internet in his editorial for the new FILM COMMENT, where he theorizes that “blogs are more important to people who want to write than they are to people who like to read.” Blogging has certainly made me more attentive to what other bloggers are doing and the Blog-A-Thons that sometimes occur are a testimonial to the proposal that, to some extent, bloggers are writing for each other — not unlike the days when people would start a fanzine for the sole purpose of trading with another fanzine publishers.

Now that sounds familiar. It’s a really great read, particularly for what appears to be my core audience. In a related incident, the phenomenon of comics blogging has grown to the point that there was a panel on the subject at the San Diego comic convention. The first blog I ran was comic-related, and it usually pains me a little when I relalize I left the field just before it exploded. The following report from my evil American doppelganger, Mike Sterling of Progressive Ruin, helps put things into perspective.

…when the audience was asked “Hey, who out there is also a blogger?” pretty much everyone raised their hands, to no one’s surprise.

Cinema Sewer is a remarkable little movie ‘zine produced by cartoonist Robin Bougie. Devoted to trash films, from slashers to women-in-prison to porno, if it’s sleazy it’s in the pages of this magazine.

I have a Cinema Sewer calendar on my wall. Each day has a trivia question concerning cult cinema, and the other day I noticed that the little notations I write down to remind myself of upcoming events occassionally coincide with that day’s question in unexpected ways. Here are a few of my favourites.

What was the first non-pornographic film with a sex scene?

Little Lulu.

In Rene Cardona Jr.’s “Night of a Thousand Cats”, Hugo Stiglitz stalks women using what form of transportation?

Nagy.

What was the sequel to 1972’s “Blacula”?

Desperation.

What movie starring Bela Lugosi used sets from “Dracula” (1931)?

Fat Bastard.

How big was John Holmes cock?

24.