I never realized until I started this blog that there are certain topics that keep attracting comments long after most everyone has moved on. Case in point, the Blind Dead vs. Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers rumble from last year’s Horror Blog Monster Rally. There are 15 comments up there at this point, 14 of which were made long after the contest closed, 8 of them in just one day by the same person, and practically all of them discussing a fight other than the one originally presented. Obviously reading comprehension skills are not necessary at Chateau Horror Blog.

no the f he is not jason is way way bigger then micheael and stronger too

MICHEAEL CANT WIN AGIANTS JASON VOORHEES HANDS DOWN JASON WILL WIN MICHEAELS NOT AS BIG OR AS STRONG AS JASON

Apologies to Sean for the title.

The Rue Mortuary is spreading the news that friends of late indie filmmaker Don Dohler are putting on a benefit to provide for Dohler’s mentally challenged sister, Joy. The event itself is being held in Baltimore, Maryland on June 23rd with a silent auction and a screening of two of Dohler’s films.

For those who can’t make it, the organizers are accepting donations via Paypal at timewarpfilms@comcast.net or by cheque or money order made out to ‘Joy Dohler Fund’ at Timewarp Films, 18530 Falls Road, Hampstead, Maryland, 21074. Organizers are also seeking out items for their silent auction and can be reached at the email address above.

If you can afford it, please consider donating.

Every zombie fan worth his salt has had “The Discussion” on at least one occassion. That’s the one where you envision what steps you would take to evade death in the case of a zombie plague. Now it seems as if a group of people have taken the pervasive threat of the undead one step further. The Utne Reader reports on St. Louis’s Zombie Squad.

The group began with zombie-themed camping trips among a handful of friends and has grown into a national survivalist coalition with 175 members and hundreds of fans. Not surprisingly, many in the group are young, hip, and zombie-obsessed, but not all were looking to become survivalists. Westhoff notes that “attendees probably come to the Zombie Squad seminar expecting an in-depth discussion of the monstrous antagonists of Resident Evil and Night of the Living Dead. But they stay interested in what [squad member Christopher] Barnhart has to say long after the discussion strays from zombies.”

The article delves even further into how the zombie scenario and a distrust of the government’s effectiveness during a crisis have comingled to create an international group of nerd survivalists, taking the skills they’ve learned for a fictional disaster and applying them to real world concerns.

Bloody Disgusting reports on the changes the Motion Picture Association have imposed on the first poster to come out for The Hills Have Eyes 2. The funny thing about the change is that, instead of portraying the victim with some small hope of escape as in the first try, the new poster has them dead already. The MPAA are a bunch of nihilists.

Like many people, I had no idea that the MPAA had jurisdiction over advertising. It turns out the MPAA can refuse to grant a film a rating unless the various advertising used to promote said production, print or otherwise, falls into line. Posterwire has a brief overview of the MPAA’s power in this kind of situation, particularly as it applies to the poster for Saw II, and just in case you think this applies to just horror movies, The Washington Post has a story on the controversy over a one-sheet for The Road to Guantanamo.

“If it’s a poster that’s hanging in a theater, anyone who walks into that theater, regardless of what movie they’ve come to see, will be exposed to it,” said (MPAA spokesperson) Osterberg. While she wouldn’t comment on the particular reason for the poster’s rejection, and while MPAA guidelines for what is acceptable in advertising aren’t made public, she did list some of the things that are not allowed: “depictions of violence, blood, people in jeopardy, drugs, nudity, profanity, people in frightening situations, disturbing or frightening scenes.”

The whole situation reminds me of the Comic Code Authority. A filmmaker doesn’t have to submit his film to the MPAA for a rating to get a theatrical release, but a failure to do so would result in the film being considered unrated, and for many media outlets and theatre chains that’s the equivalent of an “x” rating, which could seriously hamper a movie’s performance. I say could, because I wonder what would happen if a highly anticipated film, either a part of an already established franchise or with a popular director or actors, waived the right to be rated. I’m not just talking horror here, or a refusal to be rated based on pushing for heavily objectionable content, but just a straight out denial of the MPAA’s power based on principle. An experiment to see if being labelled unrated would be the kiss of death, not unlike the snubbing of the Comics Code Authority by most mainstream comic companies. What if Saw 4 were released unrated, or even You’ve Got Mail 2? Would theatres really refuse to show heavy-hitters, or would they take a look at the film in question and make a decision based upon their own conscience?

Whenever the topic of the recent cycle of horror films is brought up, it almost inevitably results in a discussion on how these films are a reflection of our society. This isn’t a recent observation. Critics and scholars have long looked at horror films as a barometer of the way people in certain eras think. Now Film Stew has stepped up with the rather bizarre premise that Borat is, like horror, filling that same function today.

Ergo, it’s no coincidence, this resurgence in the horror genre, given the collective state of unease for which the current sociopolitical climes are responsible. Discerning and comedic psychosocial examinations are rarer, but Borat as a character is interesting in the manner he locates the current, and seemingly worldwide, tension between various religious and ethnic groups, and their cultural values and absolutes.

I never would have imagined even looking for a link between these two seemingly disparate worlds. What do you think? Are horror movies a good indicator of where we stand in the world, and if so, why is that particular genre singled out more than others as having its finger on the pulse of society?

The director of the last two Saw films, Darren Lynn Bousman, has written a rebuttal to Bill O’Reilly’s screed against the latest trend in horror films. Unfortunately, it reads like the work of an adolescent ranting against the system on the back of his math homework. If Bill O’Reilly’s program was truly “the single most ignorant rant I have ever heard” and “the most ridiculously statement I have thus far heard” then someone has to take a break from rushing out Saw sequels and get out more.

Next - on your ‘report’ you mention that you have NEVER seen one of these ‘gorno’ films… Nor - in that matter had anyone on your panel. So - don’t you think it’s a bit hasty to be judging something you have not seen. Tell you what - I will send you a copy of the SAW series - once you have watched the three films - and educated yourself with Jigsaw and all his ‘wacky’ victims - then we can talk about the merit of them.

While I agree with the sentiment, I have my doubts that of all the so-called “torture porn” movies out there, the most shallow and inconsistent of them all will sway the pundits in a positive manner. I have to give credit where credit is due, though, and thank Bousman for introducing me to the wonders of the term “gorno”.

For future reference, if anyone else is planning on taking on the mantle of the defender of horror, please take more than five minutes to put down your thoughts. This was by far the worst argument I have ever read. For real.

“Those who push base entertainment are villains. No question.”

Is Bill O’Reilly this generation’s Morton Downey, Jr.? If only he smoked on-air to complete the illusion.

I’m not really familiar with American news personalities, so I don’t know how much weight this guy pulls. Regardless, O’Reilly took a few moments out to berate the film industry for churning out sick movies, condemning them as worse for American culture than gangster rap and dirty movies. If only! What a wonderful world this would be if that were true. Bonus clips include O’Reilly poking fun at the French for abandoning trick or treating, and a transcript from the show in which he discusses the matter with a psychologist, and a Hollywood insider, even taking shots at his parent company, Fox. There’s nothing quite like starting the day being accused of being a sociopath.

I couldn’t tell if they archive the video clips, so you better get there while they’re still available.

In one of the strangest pieces of news I’ve come across while writing for this blog, it appears that a Swedish TV channel has placed a help wanted ad looking for zombie hunters.

“We’ve had over 200 applicants,” she told The Local.

The successful applicants will take part in an expedition in the north of the country before heading to Stockholm’s Stureplan on Friday, said Holmquist.

The strange part is that, while this is obviously some sort of publicity stunt, the article seems to have been provided by a regular newsite and shows no trace of satire or explanation as to what this prank is all about. This is especially disturbing considering when you consider that, as seen above, at least one person seems to be taking this seriously.

Watch this space for reports of dead Swedes mistook as zombies in the weeks to come.

The Volo Auto Museum is holding a number of auctions for cars which appeared on film, three of which may be of interest to readers of this blog. First up is one of the three surviving Plymouth Furies from John Carpenter’s adaptation of Christine. The going price as of this writing is just over 85, 000 dollars, or you can buy it outright for only 175, 000 bucks.

Also available is the van from the Texas Chain Saw Massacre remake.

Although it may look like a beater, the van actually is a pristine 1970 Dodge A-100. New Line Cinema painted it to look dirty and rusty. A shattered rear window, bloodstains and slash marks remain as a reminder of the carnage unleashed by Leatherface.

This one is a good deal, clocking in at only a little over 2, 000 dollars as I write this.

Lastly, I was expecting a slightly better showing from the Rob Zombie fans out there. The 1972 Caddy showcased in the final shootout in The Devil’s Rejects is up for grabs for a measly 500 and change. Then again, the low price could be due to the fact that the car was repainted and reused for the Bad News Bears remake. Where are all the splatter/sports comedy fans out there?

As promised, the footage of the Uwe Boll matches from this past weekend, courtesy of the Garden City hooligans at Film Junk. Unfortunately, rumours have been circulating that Boll promised the participants training and equipment but later reneged on the deal, saying that these weren’t going to be real matches so such things weren’t necessary. I certainly hope it isn’t true.

Are you in the market for a new home? Would you be willing to join the local block parent/vigilante group? And most importantly, do you have $1 million and change lying around? If yes, then you could be living on the most infamous street in slasher history. Nancy Thompson’s house from the original A Nightmare on Elm Street is up for grabs.

Nightmare on Elm Street house with basement for “Freddie” Kruger. Spaulding Square fixer opportunity screaming “Buy Me, Buy Me!”. With some work this could be your Family Dream Home, backyard with pool 4 entertaining, 4 bedrooms 3.5 bath & office. Terrific living room with fireplace, formal dining room and bar set up.

As much as the horror geek in me would love to have a live-in conversation piece like this, I know that I would be really creeped out, particularly when night fell and you could hear every creak in the place as it settled. Would anyone else be freaked, or am I just a wuss?

In the clip above you will witness the defeat of Carlos Palencia Jimenez-Arguello, critic for Cine Cutre and the first to fall under the punishing blows of director Uwe Boll.

Did anyone honestly believe that any of the pasty-faced critics facing Uwe Boll in the ring had a chance? The man has years of boxing experience over his contenders. Yet it seems that most of the sites talking about this bout are shocked by the results. And here I thought everyone was in on the joke.

According to the Vatican’s lead exorcist, some of the last century’s greatest atrocities were committed by the demonically possessed.

“Of course the Devil exists and he can not only possess a single person but also groups and entire populations. I am convinced that the Nazis were all possessed. All you have to do is think about what Hitler — and Stalin did. Almost certainly they were possessed by the Devil.”

Considering that Father Amroth is getting up there in age, part of me really wants to shrug this off like you would a grandparent’s outdated and institutionalized prejudices. But simply dismissing the heinous actions of two the 20th century’s most notorious mass murderers, and especially the actions of most of a nation, as the result of demonic possession is a little too convenient. This is precisely the kind of thinking that could lead to becoming complancent and ignoring a similar problem when there’s still a chance at fixing things before they get out of control.

According to Monga Bay’s mission statement, they seek to promote appreciation of wildlands and wildlife. They also examine the science of how snakes can see on a crowded plane, and give pointers on ways you can avoid death should you ever become stuck in this particular situation.

Even in the dark, snakes on a plane (at least those of the pit viper and boa varieties) could keep a close watch on terrorized passengers and crew thanks to small cavities near their snouts known as pit organs. The organs are sensitive to the infrared radiation emitted by warm prey such as rats, rabbits, and Samuel L. Jackson.

Once again, science is the only thing seperating Man from the beast, and Mankind from compete destruction.