David Z. - “May Cropsy pass over your campsite in favor of the naked teens!!”

Steven - “If Cropsy is looking for naked teens, he won’t be passing over my site.”

I’m back from a relaxing long weekend in the woods. It was three packed days of hard bodies and soft rock. Thanks to everyone who wished me a nice vacation. I never realized just how many horror fans have actually been scarred to the point that they won’t go camping.

I still have to ease back into this urban lifestyle, so you’ll have to excuse the unusually sparse amount of posts. Everything will be back to normal tomorrow. Until then it’s all hammocks, lemonade and naked teens for this blogger.

In other undead news, zombie criminal behaviour is spreading rapidly. First there were the suspected zombie terrorists, and now zombie protestors have descended upon Sheffield to rally against the transformation of a cemetary chapel into a private home.

The campaigners, carrying a coffin and a mock gravestone, walked from the chapel in Sharrow to the Town Hall where they presented a petition to Sheffield Council containing 3,000 signatures. It was the culmination of weeks of campaigning against the proposals, which included a benefit music event held in the cemetery.

All this recent zombified political action is making me rethink my prejudices toward the undead.

A few days ago, John Campea of the Movie Blog bemoaned the current plethora of zombie movies and asked how and why anyone could possibly enjoy them so much. I started to write out a response, but I couldn’t quite find the crux of my arguement. Then today, while perusing the news, I came upon it. Zombies love kitties (Scroll down).

Join us Saturday July 29th as zombies rise from the dead to raise awareness and funds for the Toronto Cat Rescue. We invite ghouls of all ages to participate in our undead horde as we swarm Queen Street West , followed by a twisted after party and screening of Intercessor.

Reason #3657 for moving to Toronto - Saving kitties and watching Thor as the mighty Intercessor!

As if the bombing of Lebanon couldn’t get any worse, in a conversation with CTV Ottawa’s Dan Matheson Israel’s opposition leader Benjamin Netanyahu has compared the situation to the film Alien.

Netanyahu - Have you ever seen the movie Alien. Dan? Did you ever see it?

Matheson - Um…Yes.

Netanyahu - Do you remember this movie? Well, this movie had these alien, ferocious bodies that implant themselves in a host, and then lurch out, burst through the chest and attack the person next to the host. And in fact that’s exactly and in so doing also kill the host. Hezzbolah is the alien body, Lebanon is the host, we’re the person attacked. And the mother alien, if you will, the mother producing all these eggs is Iran, with its way station in Syria. That’s exactly what we have here. So if any of us are going to have a future, a future of peace, a future of good neighbours, a future of tranquility, than this alien host, alien ideology, implanted into Lebanon and supported by alien regimes, that’s got to go. It just has to go.

I’ve got nothin’.

Six zombies were arrested in Minneapolis on Saturday for alarming the public.

The six adults and a juvenile male were dressed as “zombies” in tattered clothes and ghoulish makeup when they were arrested in downtown Minneapolis. Police said they were carrying bags with wires sticking out, making the bags look like bombs. Officers said they were uncooperative and intimidated passers-by with their disturbing behavior.

No charges have been made as of yet. The zombies have since been released into the public. We will keep you updated on this situation for as long as the power holds out.

Steve Bissette has developed an interesting way to broker a resolution between the United States and North Korea; an old-fashioned campout at Crystal Lake.

Take Kim to Camp Crystal Lake.

Let him shoot arrows into Bing Crosby’s son, slit some throats, lop Betsy Palmer’s head off with a shovel, sing around the campfire and toast some dogs and marshmallows, whisper “sskkkhhh, sskkkkhhhh, kill, kill” with all you good ol’ Connecticut-born Texan dictator-types.

I knew that Kim Jong-il was a huge fan of the cinema, but I never imagined that would extend to the Friday the 13th franchise. It gets even more interesting when you combine his adoration with Jason with this quote from director Shin Sang Ok, who was kidnapped by Kim Jong-il for the express purpose of starting a North Korean film industry.

In some ways he is ignorant. He looks at films like they are social documentaries. I told him that films like Norma Rae reflect reality, but most American films are fiction.

Maybe the censors were right all along and constant exposure to horror movies can lead to a blurring of the line between fantasy and reality.

I wonder what he thinks of Jason Takes Manhattan.

Not long ago various horror blogs engaged in a debate regarding increasing “realism” in current theatrical horror films. This blog came into the debate a bit late, but one thing I noticed is that the attributes attached to the films in question didn’t really pertain to them at all (and they probably wouldn’t have reached the neighbourhood multiplex if they did), but could probably be applied to lesser-known indie films. Another area in which this hyper-realism in horror movies occurs is in educational shorts, like the California Highway Patrol’s Red Asphalt series which was recently profiled in the Los Angeles Times.

“This is not a Hollywood movie as can be readily seen. The quality is below their standards. However … nothing has been staged. These are actual scenes taken immediately after the accidents occurred. Also, unlike Hollywood, our actors are paid nothing. Most of the actors in these movies are bad actors and received top billing only on a tombstone. They paid a terrific price to be in these movies, they paid with their lives.”

It’s funny that educational films are among the few things I can’t stomach to watch.

In 2003, Dylan Finkle read portions of a horror story he had written entitled “Costume Party” in front of fellow students in his English class. Later that day, a teacher took a closer look at the story just before Dylan began reading some more aloud during lunch. She contacted the principal of the school, and Dylan was suspended for six weeks. Dylan’s attorney has attempted to appeal the case numerous times, and plans to again after their most recent defeat. So, what was in the story?

According to court documents, Finkle was 11 when he wrote the multi-chapter story titled “Costume Party,” modeled after the horror flick “Halloween,” in which he named characters after some of his friends and classmates. The story, which was part of a journal that one of Finkle�s teachers had assigned as a class project, chronicled the killing spree of a character named “Dylan” who was out for revenge after being bullied by kids at school.

In the story, Finkle graphically described the murders (many involving a knife or ax) of “mean kids,” some of which occurred while a character was making out topless on a table or engaged in sex.

I can understand the teachers being concerned, but was it necessary to suspend the kid for six weeks? After all, not only was this a class project, but it was deemed appropriate enough to read in the classroom before the incident, which may have given Dylan the false assumption that this was material condoned by the administration as a whole.

For a more detailed and accurate account of the case, please refer to this article which first appeared in the New York Times.

This cheered me up. Jeano Roid of the band The Creeping Cruds visited the location of the cabin from the original Evil Dead and came back with his soul intact.

The walk back down the trail away from the cabin was quite creepy indeed! There were a few property for sale signs in the area which leads me to suspect that sadly someday soon this infamous spot will be just another victim of sprawl.

I love horror travelogue pieces like this, and hope to take a road trip hitting all the hot spots one day. Maybe I should dig out those photos from my trip to the Evans City cemetary…

Real world events will rarely intrude on this blog, but occassionally something comes up that demands to be commented upon. Such is the case this week, with a strange spaceship landing just outside Clarke, Texas. According to Deputy Sheriff Lowell Massey, the pilots of the craft were even more peculiar.

I was about to call for back-up when one of the creatures waddled toward me - it looked like a duck with the head of a fly. It had two antennas which began to wiggle and a moment later I heard its voice inside my head.

For the remainder of the shocking tale of these interplanetary rejects, I suggest you pick up the most recent edition of the World Weekly News, North America’s finest newspaper. Other stories include the discovery of Tiger-Men, the return of Hitler’s Ghost, and Sergio Aragones sinister plan for world domination.

According to this article Silver Springs, one of the shooting locations for The Creature From The Black Lagoon, is set to undergo massive construction which will endanger the area’s ecosystem.

In its day, Silver Springs was a tourist destination as famous as Disney World is now. Not only could tourists gaze into its depths in its trademark glass-bottom boats, but the springs’ exotic beauty lured Hollywood. Beginning in 1916, when the silent movie The Seven Swans used the springs as a backdrop, it became a favorite location for a variety of movies and TV shows. Six Tarzan movies were shot there, as well as everything from The Creature From the Black Lagoon to jungle warfare training films.

Not to mention Legend and The Wild Women of Wongo.
It’s a sad and familiar story. The more useful a particular location, the more likely it will be destroyed by its very popularity.