Everybody’s talking about I Am Legend, The Omega Man and Last Man on Earth, but no one is discussing Santo vs. The Vampire Women.

Plot: In a time when vampires were hot, a cabal of vampire women ruled over by Augusto, the Lord of Darkness, seek out an innocent young lady who holds the key to bringing about a demonic apocalypse, and only one man can stop them. Motherfucking Santo.

One thing I learned from Santo Vs. The Vampire Women is that humanity has been tricked into believing that vampires only have very specific weaknesses. We should just punch them. In the face. And if they get up, keep on punching. Punch them until the break of dawn. Baby got it goin’ on. Then dropkick the ashes.

Also, vampires will disguise themselves as luchadors and try to use karate on you so they can steal your mask. It may not seem fair, but at that point it’s alright to use karate on them yourself.