Every zombie fan worth his salt has had “The Discussion” on at least one occassion. That’s the one where you envision what steps you would take to evade death in the case of a zombie plague. Now it seems as if a group of people have taken the pervasive threat of the undead one step further. The Utne Reader reports on St. Louis’s Zombie Squad.

The group began with zombie-themed camping trips among a handful of friends and has grown into a national survivalist coalition with 175 members and hundreds of fans. Not surprisingly, many in the group are young, hip, and zombie-obsessed, but not all were looking to become survivalists. Westhoff notes that “attendees probably come to the Zombie Squad seminar expecting an in-depth discussion of the monstrous antagonists of Resident Evil and Night of the Living Dead. But they stay interested in what [squad member Christopher] Barnhart has to say long after the discussion strays from zombies.”

The article delves even further into how the zombie scenario and a distrust of the government’s effectiveness during a crisis have comingled to create an international group of nerd survivalists, taking the skills they’ve learned for a fictional disaster and applying them to real world concerns.

Nick Frost, co-star of the hit zom-rom-com Shaun of the Dead, also had a sideline as the host of the survival television program Danger! 50,000 Volts! The show took various worst-case scenarios and showed the viewer how best to avoid death and/or dismemberment. Not aired in its initial broadcast was perhaps the most important segment of them all; how to survive a zombie attack. Joined by professional zombie hunter Dr. Russell Fell, Nick walks us through all the steps necessary in avoiding becoming one of the shambling hordes.

“Scoop” Carnacki throws down a recent Daily Show clip that uses a number of pop culture clips and stills to make its point. One of the most prominent is the appropriation of the original Dawn of the Dead. I was surprised to see how graphic it became. One scene in particular is the most wince-inducing in the entire movie for me. I wonder if anyone tuning into Comedy Central chucked their cookies at the sight.

With his feature film Fantasia, Walt Disney attempted to bridge the gap between what was perceived then as high culture and low culture by combining classical music with animation. Now, sixty-six years later, his legacy continues, this time with the use of symphonic beauty to underscore the fragile grace of depaitations, cranium spearings, and hyper-cerebral electrosis, or, to use layman’s terms, head explosions.

Every once in awhile something comes along that seems so perfect, so obvious, that you wonder why you didn’t think of it first. Writer Rick Remender will be joining forces with former Walking Dead artist Tony Moore and Remains artist Kieron Dwyer to bring us XXXombies, the tale of a zombie outbreak set against the backdrop of the burgeoning porno industry in 1976. The first story, entitled “Crotch Rot” will centre on a porno producer’s efforts to round up famous, recently deceased movie stars to appear in his films. Especially interesting are the cover designs, as Tony Moore explains.

Kieron and I are both doing send-ups to the striking graphic design of ‘70s porno posters. Seems like the design sense of even the most base crap back then had a pretty impressive amount of skill and panache. Looking at these posters, I was astounded at the amazing quality and visual sense these things had. So, yeah, basically my covers will all be patterned straight off some of my favorite porno poster designs from the ‘70s.

I never would have believed that I would use the “zombie”, “comics” and “porno” tags together in one post. Two of them, maybe. Despite a glut of zombie comics in the marketplace, the names involved and the attention to detail have certainly sold me on XXXombies.

One of my favourite movie theatre experiences was in 3-D. J. and I attended a screening of Friday the 13th 3-D in Montreal a few years back that was being held as part of a comedy festival. The tickets were a little expensive, but if I had known just how much fun I was going to have I would have happily paid twice as much. Say what you will about the gimmick or the quality of the film, but there was no denying that Steve Miner was well aware of how to stage a shot for maximum 3-D effect.

I bring you this preamble to show that, though I’m by no means a 3-D expert, I do have some fairly recent 3-D experience. With that out of the way, please take my advice and stay the fuck away from the recent release Night of the Living Dead 3-D. This is by far the worst movie I’ve seen all year, with a meandering storyline, complete lack of suspense, and downright pitiful acting. In fact, it’s the second worst zombie movie I have ever had to sit through, and considering the dozens of shoddy undead flicks I’ve exposed myself to, that’s saying something. It’s one of those movies you want to like so much that when something even slightly cool happens you feel like cheering, even if that scene would have only been a mediocre shot in any other film. The only bright spot in the film is Sid Haig’s performance as the mortician, and even that only comes after over thirty dreary minutes of characters feebly debating whether they should use the phone or not. When Haig spoke I almost believed that someone else had written his lines for him. Either his performance is a testament to his acting abilities in deciphering the script, or he improvised. Either way, as great as he is it still doesn’t come anywhere near saving this mess.

You’re probably asking yourself why I’m even bothering talking about the plot and characterization when all that you really expect from a movie like this is some cool 3-D effects. Unfortunately, if there was anything worse than the above criticism it would be the shoddy use of 3-D. I don’t know if it was the glasses, the projection or the film itself, but the movie was barely in 3-D. You could still see blue and red lines throughout, lessening the impact of the gimmick. Reading a few other reviews and comments on the film, I noticed that it wasn’t just my screening that was affected by this. Not that it matters, because with the exception of one or two moments almost nothing was staged in a way that showed off the 3-D. Some shots moved too quickly to register, while others were composed in such a way that they ended up in the bottom corner of the screen, lessening the effectiveness. Even worse were the missed opportunities. If you’re expecting disembodied limbs, decapatations, bared breasts and other assorted body parts leaping off the screen at you, prepare to be very disappointed.

I could have forgiven Night of the Living Dead 3-D if it were just bad, and I could have even given it a pass if the 3-D wasn’t up to par, but when it fails on every single possible level it’s just disheartening.

There must be something in the water. Something To Be Desired is a web-based sitcom now in its fourth season which centres around a group of 20-somethings who work at a radio station in Pittsburgh. For Halloween, the ensemble took a break from their usual romantic slapstick and threw in some grue, paying tribute to a fellow Pittsburgh native by adding a zombie apocalypse to the mix. There’s plenty of oozing bite wounds, impromptu weapons and desperate trysts to satisfy anyone’s appetite for a little Steel City gore.

After you’re done, make sure you check their behind-the-scenes blogging for great pointers on how to shoot your zombie opus, particularly when one of your zombie extras has a bun in the oven.

Man, those undead Knights Templar cannot get a break when it comes to werewolves. First they had to shake off Silvia Perschy, then Waldemar Daninsky, now it’s your generic werewolf. Is the third time the charm for our furry friend, or will the Blind Dead be triumphant once more? You decide! Vote in the sidebar for your favourite, and while you’re at it, take a chance on the Critters vs. Firefly Clan bout.

Also, don’t forget to leave a comment or three letting the world know why you chose what you did. Now’s your chance to swing the vote of some wishy-washy fence-sitter.

The aforementioned Carnival of Lost Souls over at Fox Atomic have continued on past Halloween with the sneak previews, inlcuding raw footage from The Hills Have Eyes and 28 Weeks Later. What’s left of my cynical, little heart yearns to rail against these films for numerous reasons, including the changeover from the creative teams of the first installments, the rushing of raw footage to promote the films during Halloween, and the possibility of a lack of intensity due to being lumped together under the teen-friendly Fox Atomic umbrella. However, few things can break down my defenses as much as seeing Robert Carlyle being chased by zombies.

You’ve got to be kidding me. Newsarama reports that Marvel is following through with their Marvel Zombies expansion by throwing everyone’s favourite Deadite killer in the mix. Robert Kirkman is onboard as a consultant to keep that ol’ Marvel Zombie continuity from getting out of hand, while writer John Layman takes over the reins.

“This is a story of a guy who is used to fighting the undead, who is used to being a hero, flung into a strange universe full of heroes …heroes who are not only all crazed flesh-eating zombies, but ones with hundreds of different crazy super-powers.”

“How’s a guy with a chainsaw, a shotgun, and a smart mouth supposed to survive that?”

One of the things that I’ve always loved about mainstream comics is that, between their punishing scheduling and their inherent disposability, they’re more than willing to not only take greater chances but to actually get things done. How long do you think something like this would have wallowed in development hell if it were being produced as a movie?

The Toronto Star has printed an article by Rue Morgue’s Chris Alexander detailing his visit to the set of George A. Romero’s Diary of the Dead, where the director spills the beans on some of the movie’s details.

“Diary of the Dead talks a lot about the media and this whole electronic eye that’s everywhere out there, all the time. And the main character, well, you don’t ever see this guy, he’s a voyeur. The film argues about the importance of media, and status of someone in that position … it’s an entirely new take on my themes.”

While I’m glad to see Romero trade in big studio money for less artistic interference, I can’t help feeling a little disturbed to see the director attempting to shoehorn social commentary into his films once again. It’s not that I think such tactics don’t have a place in genre filmmaking, just that I don’t think Romero is very good at it. By far my favourite film of his, Night of the Living Dead, is also the most unassuming. It feels more like the work of someone who is subconsiously filtering his outrage into a horror film, as opposed to simply creating films that replace subtlety with a more ham-fisted approach.

As many of you may already be aware, the release of Brokeback Mountain unleashed a torrent of faux-trailers which used the theme song and some judicious editing to make two otherwise heterosexual characters seem as if they were going to get it on. Video slash fiction is go! Probably my favourite attempt, and one of the most surprisingly successful, is this mingling of Day of the Dead with hot and tender man-on-man action. Oh, Bub. Will you ever find the love you seek?

The Horror Blog’s Southern Ontario correspondent VoodooJax has filed a report on the zombie walk that took place this past Sunday in Toronto. Click on the images below for a better look.

And for nearly a thousand photos from the event, check out the Toronto Zombie Walk Flickr contributions.

The site this was originally showcased on has since taken it down, whether because the public wasn’t supposed to see it yet or because of excessive demand, i don’t know. Anyway, as you will see this Day of the Dead is about as far away from an actual remake as it’s possible to get while still retaining zombies. The acting is beyond horrible, it looks like it was shot on video and the zombies not only sprint, they’re so hopped up on goofballs that they run up walls. But, just as I was ready to turn it off midway, I became interested again. These aren’t just zombies, these are zombies with a fierce hatred of windows. It’s the night of the defenestrating dead! I counted something like 9.5 zombie/window incidents, and that’s in the trailer alone. Colour me excited!

“We’re partners aren’t we? Let’s work together…”

Some infantile genius has taken apart dialogue from the Resident Evil games and pieced them back together as porno. Doors opening and closing as people accidentally stumble into sticky situations, the moans of the dead substituting for carnal grunts, and gunfire as orgasms.

Sometimes I wonder what my neighbours must think of me.